Chapter Seven
In which it begins.
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[Ross Pagette Monstine.]
I have a full week to spare to decline.
Frankly, I knew that I had all the time in the world to deny that I even agreed verbally that I would teach Matthias what he needed to know. Since Clara isn’t there to verify the events, I could actually deny everything and not even see Matthias until the man graduates. Because for once, I still see this as a bad idea.
Looking at the draft in the art room, I sighed. “Do I really need to do this just for the sake of my art? Do I need to continue shielding myself in my own comfort zone?”
Many of my art teachers mentioned how I lacked perspective. It was mainly because I was used to painting what I see in my head. While I could sing praises on the meaning of every stroke, I knew that it looked plain and obvious to many.
Do I really want to use my sister’s boyfriend as an art material?
“Ro,” a deep voice called to the other side of the door, followed by a soft knock. “You’ve been here for hours. Would you like something to eat?”
Slowly picking myself up from my seat, I opened the door for my brother. He looked tired, like a single father who is balancing work and taking care of his children. Our parents often ask for updates from him, so I could see why he is pressured most of the time. Feeling bad about the situation, I pulled my apron away from my body to follow him to the dining room.
“Did you cook something?” I asked, fixing my hair.
“No,” he sighed, ruffling his hair. “I was about to, but Ryli left some food before sleeping. She mentioned how a friend got her some food, and it looked like it was enough for the both of us.”
A friend?
Was it Matthias?
It was obvious that the food offered to my sister was to her liking. The dish prepared for us was a baked salmon, and what looked like something ordered from somewhere expensive. Ryli often finds friends easily, as everyone wants to be involved in her life. While she only have two female friends who she mostly spend time with—almost everyone wants to gain her favor.
“I think Ryli has a boyfriend already,” Ryder uttered, a sigh escaping his lips. I could see the twinge of worry in his forehead, even shaking his head as the idea popped to his head. When he spotted me looking at him, his eyes grew sharp. “Do you know something?”
I frowned. “Why would I know something?”
“She’s close to your building.” He mentioned.
Ryder and Ryli gathered attention everywhere they went. If my brother didn’t have the pressure of looking after his two younger sisters, or the heavy responsibility of his course—I am sure he would have his own lover by now. He often worries about his twin, as she often takes the initiative to never meet me.
That just means that she’s spending time outside longer than Ryder likes.
“She often catches the fancy of someone, but I have been hearing that she had been close to some guy.” Ryder mentioned, slowly taking a piece of the salmon. “Do you think that asshole got this for her?”
I chuckled.
Ryder doesn’t usually show protectiveness, but the second that he does—I could not help but laugh. It was a piece of him that we rarely see. He usually humors me and Ryli, which lets us forget that he’s in charge of us for a reason. However, this proves that there are things that Ryli still hasn’t mentioned to him.
I doubt that Ryder knew that our sister is taking art classes, for he would be quick to talk it out to Ryli and explain it to me. He doesn’t usually involve himself like that, but I knew how much my brother knows how I am bothered by the voices surrounding me and my sister.
Adding more fuel by others touching the surface of my art would make it worse.
“That reminds me, Clara mentioned something to me earlier.” Ryder muttered, eyes focused on mine. I could see a crease forming in his forehead, as if confused by the words that he was about to utter. “She told me that you agreed to attend the next competition?”
Clara couldn’t even shut her mouth.
Then again, everyone knew how I don’t particularly hide things from my brother. Not only that, but I am often at our dorm. If I take extra hours away, Ryder would be quick to worry. I feel bad forgetting to mention this to him—but in my defense, I was still thinking about it.
“Ross?”
I found myself nodding, hands slowly taking a piece of the salmon. “Yes, so I think I’ll be later than usual,” seeing the confusion in his face, I let out a small lie. “Clara needed someone, and she had been begging for a while now. I wanted to give it a try.”
“That’s good, Ross!” He cheered, a clear representation of joy flashed in his face. “I was worried that you were forced into it. I’ll be cheering you on.”
It was always good to know that Ryder will always be there for me. A small twinge of guilt flashed in my heart. I wasn’t sure if I was doing a bad thing by using Matthias, and I was terrified to let him know the reason why I wanted to truly try this.
If he knew, would he cheer on me like he does now?
I don’t honestly know.
.
.
Waiting for Matthis was torture.
I was here earlier than what we initially talked about, but every second that passed in the clock made it harder for me. I had always been aware of my impulsiveness. There was never a time where I even double guessed my decision. When it comes to painting, I have done everything I could to be in this position that I am in.
For years, I never once thought how it’ll affect everyone.
I just wanted to win.
However, all of those situations only included family members. I didn’t care who I was hurting in the family, since not once did they care about that when it comes to me. Maybe it was because I was involved with someone that was innocent and my mind suddenly grew guilty.
Maybe I should quit.
But before I could back that thought, the sliding door opened with a loud sound. Matthias was on the other side of the door, with sweat trickling in his temple. His chest was heaving, and I could see how he was struggling to keep himself composed. It was obvious that he had run for quite a while to reach the room. Slowly following the clock, I now noticed how he was five minutes late.
“I am so sorry,” he heaved, slowly strutting to my direction as he placed his bag on an empty chair. “This is bad for my first impression, but we had an unexpected laboratory today. I wasn’t aware how far it is to this building.”
Matthias is taking medicine. I heard how good he is at helping others, so it was expected of him that he’s someone who is studying to be a doctor. He’s someone who is in the same situation as Ryli—and by that, I mean that they are both the highest in their class and would often be the first to get tackled when everyone didn’t understand the lesson.
It wasn’t hard knowing what I wanted from Matthias. Since he is friends with a few influential people—my cousin, Page included—almost everybody knew everything there was to know about him.
“Is it possible to paint me while I’m this disheveled?” He asked, slowly walking to the chair prompt for a model.
“Oh,” I finally had the courage to speak, which caught his attention. Slowly moving back from the chair that I was seating, I offered it to him. “Actually, I wanted to see what we’re starting with. Instead of becoming my model first, I need to see your skills.”
“Or lack thereof,” he chuckled.
Matthias walked back to the chair, with his hands slowly patting away the remaining sweat attached to his skin. I could see the same intimidation that I felt when I first found an easel. I could see how much he didn’t like to ruin a piece of canvas when he f****d up. Many people do feel conflicted when they are staring at a blank one.
“What should I do?”
I tilted my head to the side. “You mentioned you were taking art classes. How about starting from where you left off from there?”
“I think I can do that.”
There was a second of change from his expression. What once was intimidation grew from determination the second he was told to do something. This is what made it harder to reject him—as I could see how much he wanted to do this.
But as he was sketching on the canvas, I froze. Many mentioned how Matthias has beautiful handwriting, but would often draw things that don't seem to exist. Seeing it in person made me unaware of what to do.
That is, until—I heard a chuckle.
His eyes moved to mine, squinting it slowly to make me aware that he had heard the squeak. I let out a soft chuckle again, now covering my mouth as I did. While I do feel bad laughing at his sketch, I couldn’t. Then again, he doubled back on the laughter before I could apologize to him.
“It’s really bad, huh?” He frowned.
“I am so sorry—” I paused, fighting back hard to lessen the chuckles. “I heard that you often get reprimanded at your illustrations but I never knew it was on this scale.”
“As much as this is hard to admit, the art teacher mentioned that I was improving.”
Matthias easily made the atmosphere comfortable. I wasn’t sure if he noticed that I was being awkward, but his conversation skills made everyone feel at ease. Maybe it was because he’s in a large group, which I was told was all remotely funny.
“Can we do something about this?” He asked, lips twinging in worry.
I nodded. “We could do something,” slowly grabbing a charcoal pencil, I tried to put some line of structure in his sketches. “It wasn’t entirely bad, but you needed to know proper proportions and structures. Having some guidelines would help you the long way,” beckoning the lines, I smiled at him. “Do you think you can start with this? Start the guidelines with light hands, and more defined on what you wanted to sketch.”
Matthias easily gets what I wanted, he still has some rough edges but he is doing everything he could to do it right. It would take a while to see obvious changes, but I could see that there are spaces for improvement.
I nodded. “Yeah, I think we can work with this.”
Matthias beamed a smile, hands offered to me. I touched the base of his hands, offering a high five. “That’s good to hear! I am excited to see how this goes.”
The experience made me remember a fragment of my childhood—one that feels like would help me.