i. epigraph
❝i hate making
m i s t a k e s,
errors or flaws,
but unexpectedly
making one
led me to
y o u. ❞
ii. foreword
I hate my older sister.
There was never a time when I wasn’t compared to her. Every living second that I had spent with her, people would be quick to take notice of the difference between us. When we were young, and our minds weren’t fully developed, I had laughed and agreed through the backhanded compliments that they would give me. Despite being unaware of the standard of beauty, I was made aware that my older sister is quite attractive.
She is naturally perfect, one that even a child would be quick to notice.
And I have had enough of hearing that from people.
“f**k,” I hissed, slowly backing away from the easel as I managed to cut myself. Eyes focus on the broken glass palette. My mind seemed to have drifted away from what I was doing, and now slowly facing the consequences of my actions.
I have the most annoying struck of luck.
“Damn this.”
Slowly letting go of the palette, I pressed pressure on my wounds. Despite the pain that inched on my finger, I kept my composure calm. I hated seeing blood and would often faint at the sight of it. However, it seemed like my passions was burning more than I take notice of it.
The last thing I needed was to ruin the art that I made.
And frankly enough, my hands is the only thing that I have. Ryli Monstine couldn’t paint and isn’t interested in this aspect. While I—on the other hand, perfected this skill. It was the one thing that I was good at, something that Ryli couldn’t compete with me.
Even still, people never took notice of that.
“Ross, should we—” a pause, followed by a quick realization from my brother from seeing me panicked to what I caused. Ryder easily whipped out his handkerchief and helped ease the cut that I had managed to give myself. His eyes were focused on the amount, helping me make sure to stop the blood from dribbling out. “Are you okay? Do you need me to bring you to a couch or?”
I flinched, sensing the pain from the pressure. He quickly slipped some strength, letting me answer him softly. “No. I’m fine. I have hardly seen the blood, as I made sure to check the canvas before the wound.”
“I am conflicted on how to react from that,” Ryder mumbled, still making sure to hide the evidence of the wound from me. His eyes were checking me, and the wound. Despite his course, I could see how he is good at taking care of others. “It’s roughly dressed to save you from fainting. Please give me a second. I’ll grab the first aid to disinfect this properly.”
“Thanks, Ry.”
“Of course.”
Following the panicked man walking out of my door, I felt another pang in my heart—Ryder Monstine, my older brother and Ryli’s twin brother. Being the oldest, Ryder did his best to nurture me since I was young. Not once did my brother compare us. Ryder complimented us on what we do, never trying to press it on the other.
Of course, unlike me—Ryder didn’t face any scrutiny that followed Ryli, even if they are twins. The twins did mimicked each other’s good sides. Both of them were gifted children with pristine beauty and a brain that is a strong foundation for them.
I couldn’t see why they wouldn’t have those characteristics.
Their mom is renowned model, someone who had graduated top of her class. While their biological father is a successful lawyer. Both of them came from top-tier people, which of course, would reflect on them.
Another piece of information about them—they’re my step-siblings. This would explain why some of my family members, or theirs, would compare me to Ryli.
“We’re almost out of these,” Ryder walked back to the room with a small bag. Slowly kneeling before me, he carefully cleaned the wound with delicate hands. As if I would break by any small pressure, he did his best to make sure that he treated it well. “There we are,” eyes now focused on her, he frowned. “Can we please last more than a week before hurting yourself again?”
“Please,” I scoffed.
Ryder simply chuckled, slowly raising from his place. I could see small sense of relief from his face. I could vaguely understand why. The second that the three of us decided to live in the dormitories, he had been the parent figure in the flat. I am sure he wouldn’t like getting reprimanded by our parents.
“Anyway, dinner’s ready. You should grab some food before continuing your art. You’ve been holed in this place for long enough.”
“I’ll give it another try. Maybe I would eat the second I finished,” I mumbled, looking at the easel. “I have to pass it for my first class, so I wanted it to be done.”
He knew that I was lying.
This wasn’t just because I needed to finish this. Some days, I find it hard to even face Ryli. She would often come home at rough hours, since she had her responsibilities to her course. However, today are those rare days that she doesn’t have anything to do. Ryli’s simply lounging around the flat.
Ryder is well aware of the small feud that is going on between Ryli and me I. Then again; the feed is simply on my other end of the story. Ryli, as everyone is aware, couldn’t hurt a fly. She doesn’t harbor any ill will to people and wouldn’t mind playing fair with me. As much as everyone is concerned, I am the only one making a big deal of things.
“In that case, I’ll bring you some food,” he mentioned, offering me a smile.
There used to be a time when Ryder included himself in the narrative.
As siblings only on fine print, everyone wanted to make sure that we were on the best condition. However, as much as my parents would try to reprimand their family members not to compare the both of us, it was already too late. Ryli and I grew up, with different peers now talking and pinning us against each other. People often mention how I am overreacting, as Ryli doesn’t seem bothered.
But that is simply because she got the good side of the comparison.
Ryder would talk to us about the problem and help us fix it. It did help during the first year, but as we got older and my vision grew darker—it was harder to talk about things. I would run away from Ryder whenever he wanted to talk about it, and eventually—he left the issue aside.
“At least I got you,” I whispered, looking at my canvas. Looking at what I could do always gives me a sense of euphoria. While people do not compare Ryli to this, I have received countless compliments on my skill. “I still have something you could never have.”
And as sad as it is to think that I hold one thing above Ryli, it had always been the only thing that made me sleep at night. Because for this aspect, I slightly feel special. I have that small triumpt that she would often hold between us. I could have a sense that for once, she would feel what I had felt these nine years that we were both pinned against each other.
I wanted her to feel that.
I wanted her to know how much that hurt others.
So I continued to develop my skill, until it reached a position where people would walk up to Ryli and asked if she ever dreamt of having that skill. That is my biggest goal in life. I want to see her bubble deflate slowly and sink to the unknown.
iii. sypnosis
Ross Monstine hated to be in her sister’s shadows. She had been compared and scrutinized all for all her life because Ryli Monstine was much better to her. The only thing that gave her comfort through all of these was her skill in painting. It was the only thing that Ryli couldn’t do.
However, everything changed when she found out that Ryli was taking painting classes because she caught the fancy of someone—Matthias O’Shea.
Determined to keep the only thing she held above her sister’s head, she thought of a silly plan. If Ryli wanted to grab the skill to paint, Ross would steal the reason for her sister’s reason.
She’ll make Matthias fall for her.