Beyond Repair

Chapter 8 - Max

I couldn't believe the events of the night before. It had been one awkward interaction after another, and I expected to find out that Clara had fled in the night. The whole time I was in the shower and getting ready, I kept thinking that I was going to find the house empty when I got out there. If she was still around, we needed some ground rules. A repeat performance would be unrecoverable. It was already pretty bad. I had no idea how I was meant to face the virgin who walked on me w*****g to the pornstar version of her. It was bad enough before she told me she had been to visit me when she was a kid and I was a fully grown man.

I didn't even want to consider what she meant when she called me her idle. It was a conversation stopper, that was for sure, and it made me feel like s**t. Like I had disappointed her and every other fan I had ever had. Unfortunately, she had given me too much to think about, not to mention putting me in my place. The last person to tell me when I was being an asshole was Terri. She was the only person that ever really did. If Terri hadn't died, maybe I would have recovered better. Maybe I wouldn't have been throwing pity parties for three years. I wanted to say she was wrong, and I hadn't been, but she was right.

I might not be able to play football, but that wasn't the only thing I did with my life. There was no reason why I still couldn't visit the schools in my old neighbourhood. I used to love feeling like I was giving something back. I didn't even know when I had made the decision to give up on those visits. It wasn't conscious. I just felt like I didn't have anything to offer after the accident. It wasn't until she dressed me down that I realised that there was still so much in my life. She was right. Dickie still got in contact with me every single day. He didn't need to. I wasn't under contract with the team anymore. He did it because he cared.

He wasn't even the only one. The lads used to ask me out all the time for drinks. The invitations had dried up, but only because I never accepted. They were trying to accept my decision. I didn't know where I was going to start, but I knew I was going to make a step towards trying to embrace my life more. For a start, I realised how many people had been trying to stay connected with me for the last three years and it made me feel guilty about pushing them away.

I heard the doorbell and went to open the app, but before I managed to get to my phone, there was no one there. Finishing styling my hair for the first time in a long time, then wheeling my way out to the living room. Finding Dickie and Clara laughing away over coffee. "Hey, it was nice not to have to make my own coffee this morning."

"Morning, Dickie."

"How are you doing today?"

"There's a bit of soreness in my lower back, but I haven't taken my meds yet." Dickie shot me a puzzled look. "Don't look at me like that. You always bug me for a real answer. You can't complain when you get one."

"I'm not complaining. Dare I push my luck and ask if you have any plans?"

"Actually, I was thinking about inviting a few of the lads over for some drinks tonight. Can you let them know at practice? Save me from having to send out so many messages."

"You're inviting the whole team?"

"Yep, I doubt they will all be able to make it, though."

"Even the new guys?"

"Yes, even the new guys. Would you like me to change my mind?"

"No, no. I'll let them know. I will get off early and let them know before practice and get them to message you to let you know."

"OK, boss. Are you coming?"

"Nope, having me there will just mean they all behave themselves."

"True, true. See you tomorrow, boss." He nodded at Clara before he left and was clearly crediting her with the change in my attitude. Not that he was wrong. I waited for him to leave before I headed into the kitchen where Clara had scurried off to. "Morning."

"Morning, Max. Do you want any breakfast?" It looked like we were pretending the night before had never happened. I was more than happy to go with it. I didn't want to go over it any more than she did, but I was happy she had decided to stay. Which was a first. I had never been happy to see one of Dickie's babysitters before.

"I can make my own breakfast."

"I know you can. That doesn't mean I can't do it for you. Dickie can make his own coffee, yet me making it for him didn't change that fact. You don't have to keep proving you can do things yourself. We all know you can do everything yourself, well, except cleaning your skirting boards, apparently." Oh, I could. I just didn't want to. Who cared about the skirting boards?

"Breakfast would be great, thanks." I parked myself in my spot at the worktop, then regretted it straight away. Remembering the night before and how it had started. Thinking back to her backside in those tiny little pink shorts. She was wearing more fabric at least, but her ass still looked amazing in the skinny whitewashed jeans she was wearing. I did seem to have more control over myself, at least. Maybe it was because her cleavage was safely behind her hoodie. She was practically graceful as she mixed some sort of concoction in a bowl. "Where did you learn to cook?"

"Pretty much solely on the internet. It was a necessity. When I was at uni, I didn't have a lot of spare cash, so I had to learn to cook well. It was the only way to make my maintenance loan stretch far enough."

"Really?" I hoped she was going to tell me she was taking the piss, but I knew she wasn't. Yet when she said it, she seemed to consider the whole thing a positive thing in her life.

"Yep, YouTube mainly. It's a valuable tool." I wondered if she actually knew how sad it sounded, but she seemed completely unaware. "Stop it."

"Stop what? I haven't said anything."

"You're pitying me. Two can play that game. You decide to pity me and I will return the favour."

"Point taken. Sorry. What are you actually making?"

"Blueberry pancakes." I had so many questions for her, but every time she said something it seemed to add more to the list of things I wanted to know.

"So, what did you study at university?"

"Sports therapy and rehabilitation." She paused for a second and threw me a look over her shoulder. She looked a little nervous.

"A bit overqualified for this job, though, surely. Except, it's not for this job. Dickie bribed you with a job, a proper job with the team. It's fine. I know what he's like."

"I wasn't sure if I was meant to tell you, but I don't particularly like keeping things from people." It was cute that she thought it was the first time Dickie had tried something like that. When I had first been released from the hospital, I refused a physio, so he hired one and passed them off as a cleaner. "Do you need me to organise anything for tonight?"

"Not really. I need to grab some bits, but I can do it myself."

"Or I could do it for you, seeing as I am paid to do it."

"I can do it."

"I'm aware. If you want to, go ahead and I shall put my feet up with a book while you pay me to relax. It's no skin off my nose." I thought for a second she might be trying to use reverse psychology on me, but she didn't look like she was. She looked like she was being deadly serious, that she was just going to stay behind and read.

"You can come with me and load the car if you like. I should be getting my money's worth." For a second, it was no longer shopping running through my mind. Instead, I was thinking of the woman I was paying to take care of my needs, taking care of a need that was definitely not included in her employment contract. I felt my cheeks tinge a little, but it soon passed. Shame that the sudden hardness in my shorts wouldn't disappear quite so quickly. It was almost like we were replaying the evening before. All that was missing was her spilling the pancakes in my lap.

As she moved towards the counter with both plates in hand, I was on edge waiting for her to trip. She didn't and instead pulled up the stool beside me and placed the plate in front of me with a smile. I watched her for a second as she tucked into her stack. She wasn't the sort to eat daintily or worry about what anyone thought. She attacked them as though no one was watching. There was something about that which turned me on even more. I could feel my interest peaking and my desire was raging. I was in trouble.