Until Alex

CHAPTER ONE: AN ODD FRIENDSHIP

THREE WEEKS LATER…

I was quite satisfied with the progress we were making even though it was too early to say. Alex’s fashion sense had considerably improved with my not-so-subtle hints of which color emphasized his eyes, and how to carry off a snug pair of jeans, especially with his kind of ass.

At the beginning of our brief meetings, I was not at all amendable, testing his limits with my grumpiness and a heavy dose of malevolence. In contrast, he seemed quite chilled-out, tolerating my ill-disposed comments with silence until I felt ashamed of myself for my vindictiveness. Two weeks later, we had a much better ambience treating each other amicably instead of enemies weighing each other up. That was when the improvement began.

We were not quite friends though. I personally made sure to keep enough distance in my subconscious so as not to forget my ultimate mission. It was to turn Alex into a “datable” version so that Tiffany would consider him an option to accompanying her for evening dates at galas or parties. She had no dearth of gigolos.

For my survival, all I needed was not allow myself to become emotionally involved. I was a pro in detaching myself from anything when it becomes too poignant – courtesy of my draconian upbringing. Tiff knew I was not a tempestuous person, maybe that was why we’ve always gotten along together. While she would throw her dramatic tantrums, I would just wait passively for her to calm down enough to become more reasonable. She was fire - I was ice.

The problem was that a week after shredding my balefulness, I was starting to like Alex. Not remarkably in the woman-man way. I already fancied him too much for my own good since high school. It was deeper than a mere physical attraction – we connected on a more meaningful level. And scarier. I needed to stop the hemorrhage before it got too consequential.

“Hi,” he greeted cheerfully, and I refused to look up aware that I would find a smile brighter than the sunshine, his perfect teeth would glow in the daylight, and green eyes would gleam like two priceless jewels. I had to build my bulwark.

Pretending to be busily swiping through the screen of my phone, I nodded briefly in acknowledgement, our contrasting coffees arriving just in time as he took the opposite seat. I had to admit to myself that he was a rather resilient admirer, never failing to be present for our daily breakfast even if I was thwarting his progress.

Not that Tiff had any problem with that. On the contrary, my best friend was really glad that I had managed to oust Alex from her path. Another obstacle for her which she just dumped on me without mercy.

“You’re late,” I greeted back finally looking up with composure while inwardly letting myself take in his sight greedily. With tight blue jeans and a green sweatshirt, he should have looked mediocre like the rest of the world with his custom clothes. Instead, he appeared quite distinguished with the green emphasizing the color of his eyes and unique texture of his hair.

For a moment, he stared at me with undisguised affront – his impulsive reactions were refreshing. It was rare to be with someone who would show real emotions so perennially like an actual human.

“Back to being the b***h?” he countered candidly, making me flinch with contrition. I figured he was referring to the two weeks of nastiness which I was supposedly having surmounted. Except that today I was in a grouchy mood.

“Have you done your homework?” I asked austerely, determined not to be cajoled with his charm that morning.

Alex let out an exaggerated shocked gasp, his eyes cranking with humor. “No. Is it a such a sin not to know how to do a Windsor knot?”

I sighed. It was. Especially in the company of Tiffany Cox and the elites. “Listen,” I bellowed exasperatedly, my patience wearing thin with his tasteless jokes. “I thought you were serious about Tiff. If you think this is some kind of joke….”

“Whoa!” he cried before I could vent out all my frustration on him, lifting his hands in obvious surrender as he perused me with intensity. “I think we’ve already established how dedicated I am. I’ve been listening to all your bull for three weeks. Do you think the things you’ve taught me are really fundamental to build a relationship?”

I didn’t. Tiffany did. But I wasn’t about to give him any explanations. What I thought was not important, it never mattered when Tiff was around – the world revolved around her. Nobody ever noticed me. They were always thunderstruck by Tiffany Cox first before the inconspicuous Arianna Baxter finally made an impact.

I didn’t care. Well, not usually. But in Alex’s case, I had to admit that I was feeling a bit covetous for his attention, while he remained focused on his infatuation for Tiff.

I shrugged casually in response.

He sighed.

“What’s wrong Arianna?” he asked, speaking my name for the first time, and it felt like he was rolling the syllables under his tongue like it was the finest silk.

That was it! I needed a getaway before I made a fool of myself.

“You obviously think that I’m wasting your time with minutiae. If you think you’re ready for your first date, then why don’t we arrange for one?”

A perverse part of me wished he would politely decline, attesting to the fact that he was enjoying my company and did not need any posh dates with anyone else. I tried not to read anything in that other than pure feminine miff.

When his green eyes rounded in pure delight, that masochist chunk of my heart died a brutal death killing all the baseless hope, and I was careful not to let any emotion reflect on the surface.

“You’d do that?” he exclaimed enthusiastically, and at that precise moment he looked like a child who’d been offered his favorite candy.

Why not? Maybe it was time for him to learn who Tiffany Cox really was. I wasn’t going to bash her bad character with him – she was my best friend and loyalty was important to me. My zodiac sign was Taurus and every crap about horoscopes seemed to believe that it was a virtue we possess.

I nodded stealthily.

“When?” he asked eagerly, almost sitting in his chair ready to leap on me if I escaped.

“I need to check with Tiff first. It would be a public event with high profile politicians and celebrities.”

He frowned, weighing my words musingly. “You’ll be there, right?”

Slowly, I shook my head in a negative answer. I didn’t usually attend the grand events, I hated being among a crowd which waited for the slightest opportunity to smirk or snicker at me. Tiffany loved being the center of attention because she was untouchable – she wore confidence and arrogance like a second cloak which no one could penetrate.

“Why not?” he questioned wearing a puzzled look, seeming genuinely interested in my response.

For a second, I was really really tempted to give him an honest answer, to open up to him with my actual feelings. Then, I gave myself a mental shake, reality settling in with a bitter taste. It was hardly significant to him what I thought – he was only feeling apprehensive about being alone for his big launch in the elite world.

“Please tell me you have something to wear,” I asked vacuously instead, ignoring the way my heart constricted painfully inside my chest. It wasn’t the first time I was ignoring my needs for a greater cause – there always seemed to be others more consequential than me.

Alex sat back in his chair, assessing me for a long moment – enough to make me squirm in my seat. “Why do you do that?” he wanted to know, his bewildered expression still intact like it was permanently etched on his face.

I decided to play dumb.

“Why do I do what?” I enunciated slowly like I was talking to a child.

He wasn’t fooled. “Why do you back out from anything when it becomes too personal?”

My first reflex was to act normal, to keep my poise and calmly declare that I was unaware of what he was talking about, that he was mistaken. The measuring look he imposed on me deterred me from my lie though – and I once again went for another nonchalant shrug.

“Does it matter?” I finally prevaricated, meeting his eyes with mutinous challenge more than anything else.

I had the impression that his relaxed pose was a subterfuge, that if I faked anymore, he would jump at my throat with sordid precision. And I meant that in the figurative sense – it wouldn’t be physical but a verbal attack.

As unlikely as it may have appeared, I felt myself anticipating his answer – another sign that I was in real trouble. My motto in life was never to get too involved.

“I wouldn’t have asked if it didn’t,” he replied so gently that my throat clogged with emotions melting away all my resistance. It was the first time in my entire life that somebody was asking for my opinion, without any ulterior motive. Like I was really significant. Instantly, I felt like I was somebody who existed instead of being a mere shadow, always trying to blend in with my unobtrusive nature.

It was a weird feeling. Like somebody had poured the essence of life into my veins, leaving me feeling heady with the potion, my head whirling with the intoxicating aftereffects of his consideration.

I cleared my throat because my voice would creak if I talked right away. “I don’t feel very comfortable in such a huge crowd,” I awkwardly confessed with a rare truthfulness that left me somewhat raw and exposed.

He fell silent for a while, and I felt sure he was actually worrying about the way he would feel during his big night. If I, Arianna Baxter, the one who’d been born with wealth and fame felt uneasy among my people, how would he – a complete outsider blend in?

I was about to comfort him when he spoke. “You’re so much more than you show, Arianna Baxter.”

He’d completely astounded me – I guessed even I could not hide the way my slackened jaw dropped open in blatant stupefaction. For once, I was unsure of how to react – should I act coy asking him what he meant? Should I pretend not to understand his subtle flirtation? Or should I completely block him like I usually do with the others?

That time, I surprised myself. “Is that good or bad? “I heard myself asking coyly, while my head screamed at me that I was not supposed to be interested in his answer. Yet, I preened towards him waiting for his reply.

“I guess I haven’t figured that out yet,” he finally answered with his usual forthrightness. “But it’s nice when you make an effort,” his eyes gleaming over me with male appreciation mixed with a teasing glint, enough to make me uncertain of whether he was serious or just kidding.

Eventually, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, not because I believed him but since I wanted him to like me.  I actually smiled at him with warmth. “Thank you.”

Elation filled me despite the fact that my subconscious warned me that he might only be pleasing me to get to another girl. That thought served as a wake-up call, wiping the natural stretch of my lips into its original pursed position.

“Okay let’s get back to business,” I declared exuberantly trying to hide my inner turmoil, my sentence serving a reminder to myself more than anything else. “Since you’re being nice to me, I have a few tips for you,” I announced with a positive attitude, and started enumerating the checklist from my iPad. “Number one: don’t drool over other girls – it’s unattractive. Number two: listen to her even if you feel that she’s rambling – show her that you care. Three: don’t feel bad if you’re stashed – Tiff wouldn’t want to introduce you to everyone on your first date. Four: don’t get drunk or stoned…”

I stopped to take a deep breath as I tried to rake my mind through other possibilities glancing up at him in the process.

“Are you even listening?” I asked exasperatedly when I found him distractedly looking at somewhere else, and his head snapped back to attention towards me at my outburst. Bestowed with green gaze, I was surprised to distinguish that his eyes bore undisguised interest instead of the bored expression I was anticipating.

“You don’t have a high opinion on guys, do you?”

I sighed wearily. This was going to be more difficult than I thought. “Will you stop getting sidetracked?” I snapped, peeved that he was trying to center the conversation back to me when I wanted to maintain a clear mind. “This is not about me. This is about you and Tiffany hitting it off. If you don’t listen to me, then you’re in for a big surprise.”

Green eyes shot fire at me, as he sprawled on the table like a menacing feline, his graceful body looking poised even in that ridiculous position. “While I appreciate your concern for me, I have to assure you that I can take care of myself.”

Had it been asserted cockily, like I’ve always associated his overbearing buoyancy with, I would have given him a good piece of my mind.

However, he’d uttered the words so fiercely that I felt a grudging respect for him. His high-handedness didn’t come from his presumptuousness like I had originally, he was just someone who knew how to protect himself and those he loved.

For one crazy moment, I allowed myself enough leeway to imagine being among one of those few special ones – not essentially to be loved by him, but to be loved for who I was, irrespective of my shortcomings. Wasn’t that the dream I had nurtured since I was five years old – old enough to know my mind? And wasn’t it enough for me to have that dream shattered in the most sadistic cruelty?

Hiding my thoughts, I smiled wanly at him with a brisk nod acknowledging his comment. “Okay, lover boy. You’re on!”

He made a comical moue of disgust. “Don’t call me that, please. I understand that I made a fool of myself over you girls by coming on too hard on Tiffany and I’m trying to redeem my image. You can’t blame me for falling for her considering her beauty. But it’s not my fault that I’m part of a crowd – not really.”

We’d never spoken about his infatuation with Tiffany before, and to be honest I was not very keen to dissect his enchantment with my best friend. But I also knew that it was a crucial part of my role here and I had to listen. So, I gritted my teeth and nodded correspondingly when he paused meaningfully.

“What counts is that I should be able to differentiate among the others- make her feel that I’m nothing like the rest of the crowd. Listen, I’m no mooch trying to go after your money. This is why I’ve accepted to have breakfast with you to rectify the misunderstanding. But I won’t change for anyone. She has to like me for who I am.”

Another bold statement from him which spawned more admiration on my behalf. Whatever he’d said was true. If he hadn’t given me the opportunity to know him, I would have tagged him as another leech using us as a means to desperately get into the favor of high-profile society. To his credit, he’d never tried to befriend us at school aware of the social disparity between us was too great to surmount. It was only during his internship with Mr. Cox that he’d had a closer rapport with Tiffany and had started to develop a crush on her. That was Tiffany’s version.

Mr. Cox and my father worked together, and while mine was a mere congressman, Tiffany’s dad was running for Massachusetts governor this year. In short, my old man was a sidekick to the future governor, and the Baxters were considered inferior to the prosperous high-pedigree Cox family.

Going against my nature of staying out of things which did not concern me, for the first time I let curiosity got the better of me. “How did you fall for her?”

He shrugged. “I’m not going to lie. I’ve never considered her or anyone of your circle as my type before… because, you know, we live in different worlds. But well, I became attracted to her while I was working for Mr. Fox and started texting her. When she did not reply, I was so mortified, and I decided to let it go hoping that my crush on her would eventually die a cruel death.”

He paused, and swallowed hard, and I sympathized for it must be hard for a guy to lay out his feelings so sensitively in the open.

“When it didn’t, I decided to try my luck. No hidden agenda, I promise.”

Physical attraction – wasn’t that the beginning of any contemporary relationship nowadays? He was right. Was it so wrong of him to fall for a girl only because the latter was the most cosseted possession of Boston? Hadn’t we girls condemned him enough for that? It was time to give him a chance.

I was convinced.

I nodded, this time with more relish that my earlier business-like twitches. “Alright, Alex Harrington. For better or for worse, you’ve got yourself an ally in this. As long as I can, I promise to help you out in having the girl of your dreams.”

With the most vehemence I could muster, I winked conspiratorially at him, and was completely unprepared for the way my heart lurched when he dazzled me with his gorgeous smile, teeth flashing at me with a bling, and I did my best not to let my mask of indifference crumble.

It was just the beginning.