The Alphas Omegas

The Alphas apology

Brayden

“Brayden?” Xavier lays his hand on my face, and I look into his beautiful blue eyes.

I could get lost in those eyes. Such honesty shines within them, and I know that I fuc.ked up in leaving Xavier behind. It will forever haunt me, the image of my mate lying in that hospital bed, almost gone from this world.

I wish I had never walked away from Xavier when I did. But the Goddess knows that I had to do it; I had to leave for both our sakes. I couldn’t give Xavier my all when I didn’t like the man I was. Goddess knows who Xavier would have been stuck with if I hadn’t left when I did. I’m not sure I wouldn’t have treated him appallingly the way I did my sister all those years. I would have physically and mentally tortured Xavier, but I knew even then that he deserved more than me.

“I’m sorry,”

“What are you sorry for? You’ve done nothing wrong, Xavier, not one thing. All you did was try to get me to talk to you. I’m the one who’s sorry, Xavier. But please understand, I had to go. I had to do it for us because you would have lived a miserable life with me if I hadn’t. I was a monster, Xavier, of the worst kind. I won’t ever pretend I was anything less. But if you still want the rejection...”

Xavier presses his fingers to my lips and smiles, and I find myself smiling along with him.

“I do understand, Brayden, now, at least. It was hard in the beginning, and I won’t pretend it wasn’t. I knew I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“No, it was me who wasn’t good enough, Xavier. I was prejudiced and vile. There was no reason for me to be that way; I wasn’t raised to believe the things I did. I don’t even know where it came from. All I knew was there was something very wrong inside of me - something I had to fix before I lost myself completely.”

“It’s okay, Brayden. I get it; I really do. It hurt more than anything else when you left because I didn’t know where I stood. But it didn’t take long for me to work out in my mind that you needed to figure things out. I prayed many times that you would come back and tell me everything would be alright.”

My heart breaks when a tear falls from Xavier’s eye. I wipe it away with my thumb and try to pull back my own emotions.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Xavier. If you give me a chance, I swear, I will never knowingly hurt you again.”

Xavier lays his hand over mine on his cheek. “Did you really stay faithful?” I nod my head. “But why? I mean, you didn’t want me.”

“I have always wanted you, Xavier; I just didn’t know it back then.” I take his face between my hands. “The past few weeks, all I’ve done is obsess over you.”

“You have?”

I nod. “I wondered if you were with someone else and if they were making you happy.”

“There hasn’t been anyone else, Brayden, not since I realized you were my mate.”

My eyes close on me as relief fills my veins. I have no right to be jealous, but I was, thinking someone else could have been loving my mate. That was wrong of me; I was the one who walked away. Xavier had every right to seek comfort in another’s arms. But he didn’t, and I see no lie when I look into his eyes. Now, all I want to do is kiss the shi.t out of him.

“I don’t want to be this vulnerable in front of you, Brayden, but I have nothing to lose.” Xavier sighs. “I thought about you all the time, wondering if you’d ever come back. I told myself I was stupi.d for wishing you’d suddenly realize you wanted me. But I couldn’t help it,”

I can feel Xavier’s heartache at me leaving him, and it hurts. Before Angel almost killed me, I wouldn’t have given a s**t how Xavier felt. But after the fact, everything changed within me. I care how people feel, and I hate being the cause of their pain.

Not those who cross me, but my family, I mean.

“I’m so sorry, Xavier. If I could have taken you with me, I would have. I know it doesn’t mean much when I’ve caused you so much pain, but I need you.

“You have every right to tell me to go to hell, even reject me if you want to. I wouldn’t blame you after how I hurt you, and I won’t stop you if that’s what you choose. But if you accept me, I swear on everything I hold dear that I will love you so well.”

Xavier’s eyes dart from side to side as he stares at me. I can see the turmoil in his eyes, and I realize that Xavier isn’t going to accept me. I have hurt him too badly to expect anything else.

I won’t walk away from my mate, but I will give him some space to think about things. Unless he rejects me here and now, of course.

‘He has to stay near us, dumbass.’ Rory, my wolf, rolls his eyes.

‘Yes, but not as mates.’

Xavier deserves much better than a man like me, and I pray to the Moon Goddess that he gets a second chance mate who will give him everything—someone who will love this man the way he deserves to be loved.

My heart sinks to my feet when he fails to tell me that I’ve gotten things wrong. My hands drop from Xavier’s face, and I smile slightly before getting off the bed. I take a deep breath in through my nose. I need to ready myself for what’s coming.

“I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, Xavier. I know, after this, you’re going to find your second chance, mate, and you’ll be so happy, I promise.”

“Brayden, what are you doing?” Xavier climbs out of bed in nothing but that hospital gown and stands in front of me. He’s taller than I remember.

How strange is that?

“I’m setting you free, Xavier.”

“Are you for real? You think I’m just going to let you walk away from me? After everything we just said!?!”

“But,” Fuc.k, I am so confused right now. “I thought that’s what you wanted?”

Xavier shakes his head before slamming his mouth against mine. I’m taken aback, but it’s less than a second before I’m kissing him back with the force of a hurricane.

Goddess, I can’t believe how good this feels!

I slide my hand around the back of Xavier’s head, keeping him close. Xavier moans into my mouth while clutching at my back, pulling me even closer to his body.

I press my forehead to Xavier’s when we finally come for air. I can’t keep the smile off my face. I never knew kissing anyone could feel that good.

“You came back for me?”

“Yes,” I breathe against Xavier’s mouth.

“Because you want me as your mate?”

“So badly.”

Xavier smiles and pulls away enough to look into my eyes. “I don’t want us to reject each other, Brayden. Yes, you hurt me badly when you walked away, but I understand why you did so. You needed to fix yourself before you could give your all to me.”

I can’t help smiling. This man gets me in a way no one ever has before.

“If you’re serious about us, then I want to try, Brayden. But this is your only chance. I won’t allow you to hurt me like that again.”

“I swear, I will never hurt you like that again, Xavier.”

He nods. “I don’t want to go back to being without you, wondering if you’re okay out there without me.”

My heart hammers with joy.

“Baby,” I take his face between my hands. “You won’t regret this. I swear, I am never going to leave you again. I won’t because you already mean everything to me, Xavier.”

That smile will be my undoing. It will be because I can see how genuinely happy Xavier is in this moment, and that means everything.

“You mean everything to me too.”

“Does that mean you’ll come back to Blackpaw with me?”

“Kinda don’t have a choice when I have to be near you for the next month.”

I laugh out loud, then kiss my mate again just because I can.

I’m never going to let Xavier down again. I wasn’t what he needed all those months ago, but I am what he needs now.

I’m going to love Xavier so well that he’ll never want to leave.

‘Just make sure you show our mate that no one means more to you than he does.’

‘Trust me, Rory; I intend to.’

“Let’s get you cleaned up and out of here. I have a sister I need to speak to while you pack your things.”

“Okay.”