Vows

mommy! mommy! I was gasping heavily again for air.....I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die. I'm loosing it....somebody help me...mommy! I woke up sweating and panting heavily the dream again... I looked at the little clock close to my bed it was just 3.35 am I woke up quite early today...baby are y okay? I heard a voice I turned, it was my mum she was wearing her white short night wear I heard u scream... I did? yea...is it the night mare again? yes mum but I'm fine do u want me to lie beside u? its not important mum I won't be sleeping anymore anyways... oh...dear mummy I'm fine...just go back and get some sleep I'll be fine are u sure u don't need me here honey I don't mind mummy I'm fine ..just go back to bed okay then she pecked me and turned back and left oh..I'm sorry I forgot to Introduce myself my name is Kloe and I'm the daughter of a very rich politician tho my parents are separated I never lacked anything especially after the incident. ..u know the incident that makes me get night mares? what do u think that is ? the culprit that did this to me was never found...the bastard that made my life a living hell when I was still in college ..guess what that was....yea...I was f*****g raped when I was 20 and that memory has been hunting me now for the past 8 years..believe it or not I've never had a good sleep for the past 8 years... even after all my parents did. the vacations,birthday party,surprise gifts...I felt empty I felt like I was dead already and to crown it all the bastard is still out there probably enjoying his night sleep and having fun.. while I'm here dying slowly .....I had everything yet I had nothing....I wish I could just get him ...my parents did all they could,my dad used his influence to get the culprit but it was like he just vanished into thin air...I made a promise to my myself to find the bastard that did this to me or I'll never have peace ...I keep having the same dream over and over again...his hands gripped to my mouth I couldn't breath....gasping for air..kicking begging ...he pinned me down and had his way...everything about kloe daves died that night ...he took my pride...my virginity...mere thinking about this again brought tears to my eyes I cleaned like people were there watching and didn't want them to see...After my predicament I had to learn new things like how to act like nothing happened.. as the only child of an influential and wealthy man I went for rich parties and occasions mostly accompanied by my parents...I had to act okay cause eyes were always on me pitying me ...people even tend to come to me and apologise and that made me feel worse ...so I distanced myself from people. everyone were just feeling sorry for me with there pitiful eyes....I even distances myself from my best friend Nelly who later travelled to Berlin and started working there I guess I pushed her away but I was fine non one knew how I felt so I had to keep all my pain to myself ...The night was still young...I took my dairy and started writing,how I felt this night....I did every night for the past eight years I stopped writing closed it and closed my eyes...I wasn't sleeping but I could do that just close my eyes and wait for morning to come..... Morning mum morning baby how are u today I'm good...I see Hannah has served breakfast yes...we are having coffee first sit let's eat nah..I'm not hungry what do u mean your not hungry I have a thing this morning with a friend ...I got to go but your not dressed.... I'm dressed for the occasion mum but kloe..people will talk... love you mum... I pecked her and ran out and closed the door..I was wearing my joggers and sweats what does she mean I'm not dressed and people will talk...people should tend to mind their own business...I can f*****g wear anything I want to wear to anywhere...God! I forgot my car keys...I can't go in there again and face that woman. I looked around to know if I could see someone right! there was john hey john..good morning good morning mam... its kloe john pls kloe... I've told u for like a thousand times kloe smiled... pls can u help me with my car keys I left it in my drawer...the BMW pls okay mam...I shot him an angry look I mean... kloe 5 mins later I was driving into the guvanah estate... I wasn't going to see anyone...I barely know anyone to see ... I was going to the river side...it was my favorite place especially when I go in the morning its very peaceful and calm no one barely comes there I named it my favourite place I sat at the river side and looked deep into the watepooI feel like I need a swim.. I looked around no one comes here I'm free to swim if I want to I removed my clothes and dived into the water,it was so cool and safe it's been long I've been to the pool I felt so happy here and the water was quite chilly I laughed..if someone see's me here and I tend to appear on the paper senator Daves only daughter seen swimming in a river area alone,my parents would freak out, I laughed again this time more loudly for once in a long time I'l felt a little happiness what's making u so happy..a voice Interrupted my thoughts I turned to see a young muscular guy,he was putting on boxer and was definitely ready to swim I..uhh.. can I join u? I was just starring at this friendly guy...it was just as if he doesn't know who I am yea....I finally answered so ...what's making that laugh pop out of your face? nothing I don't think its nothing ... then its none of your business I replied fiercely okay....no offense young lady ...I jjsy came to swim..I'm ken u know me already so don't expect I'll tell u my name uhh...have we met before...cause I can't seem to remember I starred at him was this guy being serious right now u mean u don't know who I am? I really don't...I'm a newbie here so..I'm just making new friends wow..I was surprised and kept starring at him to know if I'll catch a joke on his face but I didn't my name is kloe.. kloe...nice name so u kinda might be a popular girl since your asking if I don't know who u are I'm...not... I just thought we have met before but I guess I'm wrong ohk....nice so u come here often yea...this is my favourite place really yea...tho its my first time swimming I just come here and look at the river and trees enjoy the calmness and go home I don't understand why am I even Herr talking to some guy I don't know even telling him how I felt he might be a spy or worse a reporter I have. to go now now..hope I'm not invading your privacy I can go If u want no..its fine.. I just remembered I have this thing I've got to do right now and I'm already late...I immediately got off the water wore my clothes and took up my bag wait! ...I'm sorry uhh..will be here tomorrow? or next ...I mean I just wanna see u again.. your kinda interesting person to be with I freaked out. is he hitting on me or what .. I'm sorry...I won't be here tomorrow or next ...I turned and ran off can I at least get your number? he screamed at me no! I screamed back and disappeared I got to my car and drove off immediately...he asked for my number is he f*****g kidding me he dares asks for my number I don't know why I'm feeling upset I got home I went through the stairs ignoring the greetings coming through and fro I went up to my room and laid down on my bed ..I drifted up to sleep...