Luna of the Golden Moon

Styn

I was sitting in the library biting my nails when I read about what had happened, they had our story here, a bit of it when I read about what had happened, if I had understood it correctly the Silver family would have been strong, because strong to accept that we had autonomy in each clan and demanded that they wanted power, challenged the leader and had time to kill a couple of them before they had joined forces, the flocks and murdered every member of it, all except me and Kyle… I understood really nothing of what had happened, we had always fought with each other, but it was more about territory and not about who would have power over others, there was a council or right if you could call it but everyone was in it, no one ruled over the others, that was why they had died, been executed more or less. I slammed the book and sighed loudly, it felt absurd, I was not a murderous lunatic, I just wanted to get rid of Terrence because he made life awful for many and he was cruel… but what Caleb had said he felt in me, that I had something in me that wanted blood… it did not bode well for me, or for my brother who had not heard from him still where I sat two weeks after Caleb challenged head alpha… as if it was not enough… if he lost…. I did not know what to do, I would have been silent and let him wait another year, see if Terrence stepped down from the throne himself but I knew he would never do it, I recognized his gaze, it was hungry, for more, not just me, but on everything… I looked around, it was just me here as most people were not interested in what had happened, more just what would happen when the word about Caleb's challenge had spread across the packs, they wanted to see it, who would win, there were few sons who challenged their fathers nowadays, mostly because normal sons did not want to kill their fathers… I was just a poor delta who had given me something I could not handle or understand on.

“Nyala…” I blinked, that name was only two people who knew about, and it was not Caleb who talked to me now where I sat when I answered amused by his name choice.

“Styn.” I laughed softly as he did not seem to think it was fun anymore and I leaned back, it was probably worse than I would have thought if he had gone over to that name already.

“I heard that your mate challenged the main alpha…” he sounded happy when I nodded to myself, he would.

“Good.” Kyle's voice was lower, deeper than I had heard before, almost so I did not recognize it anymore as there was no laughter left in it anymore.

“I know who I am, sister, and you should know too.” I knew who I was, I was Emilia Jackson, daughter of Rosalie and Roger Jackson.

He laughed on the other side, but it was hard and mocking as if they did not matter to him, like ants under a boot.

“They hid you, that's all.” I knew it, how could they not have known who I was, I just wondered why… I looked around so no one was around, especially not Caleb.

“Kyle… Styn… I feel it, I do not know what it is but it pulls me… towards something…” I was confused where I sat, I was different and I knew it, I had thought it was the attack but maybe it just had been a trigger for something else, which has been in me all along.

“You know who you are, who you were meant to be.” He sounded proud and solemn when I laughed, I was already who I should be, I was Caleb's w***e, and that was enough for me… I hoped… he snorted on the other side as I did not know what to say more… that I felt that with that I wanted the power, had the right to it? It sounded completely crazy in my ears.

“it's your birth right, you're damn more than Caleb will ever be able to be, you have blood that stretches back to the beginning of our species, you're Royal Nyala, a princess.”

I laughed now, he was crazy, I knew it when his tone became irritated by my ignorance, he had no patience anymore, I missed when he just laughed at things instead of getting angry.

“Caleb said that didn’t he? that the clans went against us because we wanted to kill everyone else?” He laughed now when I answered yes, and I had read it in the book in front of me, what had I missed?

“They did not have independence before, we were their leader, I'm stronger than all of them and they know it, why else do you think they drugged everyone and killed them like lambs instead of fighting, the other clans would not have a chance, we are the ultimate wolf.” I did not know what to think, all this sounded like something he had invented, a tale that was not true.

“Ask Delta Vivian, she remembers, she knows who we are, she has always known that.” I opened my mouth shocked; delta Vivian knew everything…? of course she did, she knew all about the old wolf.

“Why did 't Caleb tell me that?” I was staring at the book now, so it looked like I was reading when a delta came in that went past me and bowed its head now and disappeared quickly again.

“He may not know, or he is afraid that you will realize that you are too good for him…” his words sounded mean at the end when I was moved by how it crept into me, I did not like where this was going, I was Caleb's mate, nothing would change that.

“And you are my sister, you should be with someone who is stronger than him…” I laughed at the shock, like him or? It sounded disgusting.

“You do not have to love me; I just wanted your body and then you are free to do what you want.” my body? Did he joke with me, please say that was not what I thought it was…?

“With our blood together Nyala, imagine, our son could be a king, just like before, I do not even intend to lie to you, I have wanted you since I saw you, sister or not.”

I closed my eyes hard now, what the hell did he say to me, he wanted me? we were siblings, how sick was that? it was so much sicker than I was with Caleb, and we were not even cousins for real.

“It's called i****t Kyle.” I said his beta name, so he got angry on the other side as I did not know if I wanted to continue this sick conversation.

“Call it where you want, I just know you're the only one left and I need you.” I got cold inside, he was serious, and I who thought it was bad enough that alpha Terrence wanted me if Caleb died.

“If he dies, you'll come with me.” I shook my head, no, I'd rather be here with Terrence, or maybe I took my own life.

“Forget that hotshots, you are coming with me whether you like it or not…” I am moved by his nickname on me, I had liked it so much but now it just sounded empty in my ears, that girl felt like she was dead.

“And if he wins?” I said the sentence challenged as he seemed to think for a few seconds and replied with a smile in his voice, I heard it already when I bit my nails again by his horrible voice towards me now.

“If he does, it will only be a challenge for me to get you, or you will come yourself and can leave later when you are done…” why did it sound like I would be there and leave laundry when he asked me straight out to give him a son, which I would then leave behind.

“Never.” I said the word disgusting. There was no chance that I would do it, I just wanted Caleb, that was all… then I had already given up on that front.

“My body will still be occupied by Caleb's pups.” I said it superiorly when he sounded pissed on the other side, I did not know yet, but he did not, I did not lie if you thought about it, it was only a matter of time.

“I'm so disappointed in you Nyala, I was so grateful when you told me you wanted to wait, that you had not given in to Caleb's attempt.” He really was, had he been so relieved? Had I even noticed it? his smile? His eyes when I said what had lit up in the dark, the alpha eyes that looked at me… damn…I knew nothing anymore.

“You said he loved me; you were the one who picked me up…” I sounded desperate, I knew he was Kyle still, somewhere, he had wanted to help his best friend, not try to convince his sister on something that went against everything we stood for… unnatural, which disgusted me down to the depths of me.

“I did it, I believed in it then… but I felt it in me, how it attracted me, why I wanted you when I saw you that I would have put my teeth in you if Caleb hadn’t gotten to you first.” his sighed when I shivered again, I was grateful for that.

“We can’t, we are family.” I said the words hard as he laughed again now and sounded like himself for a second before his voice deepened, made my blood move, screaming at something I could not control more than I could raw because I needed to breathe for to live.

“that's what you said to Caleb, and you had no problem f*****g him before you even knew you weren’t cousins.” I was ashamed because he was right, I had given in, I had done it, I ignored our family, it was something I had to live with, my shame.

“Kyle… please… come home… when alpha Terrence is dead, you can come home, and we can be a family again.” I said the words pleadingly when he refused, I knew it already without hearing his words.

“Then what? should I go back to being beta for Caleb, funny Kyle… you know I wanted you, and nothing will change that…” his voice called to me when I felt bad now, what he wanted was wrong… I shudder again and felt the nausea escalate in me as I quickly stood up and ran towards what I thought was the toilet but turned out to be the manger and vomited in the trash, twice and sat down sweaty on his heels, f**k take him, f**k take f*****g Kyle, he was my brother and it sounded like he wanted me to be his f*****g queen or something he talked about, his own sister.

“It sounds like I'm already out too late, but remember sister I'm not giving up so easily, and your mate, he's likely to die and then you have two choices, me or Terrence and I know what he does against women.” I stayed frozen, no Caleb would not die, I would kill Terrence myself if I had to, I could not live without Caleb.

“How? they will be in the room down in the basement, where I got the silver, there is nothing you can do behind the screen Nyala.” He made me start crying now, he was right, I could not do anything…. If it happened, I would kill myself, I swore it.

“Take your own life? Are you willing to do that? now that you are pregnant?” He said it thoughtfully when I sighed, I wasn’t, not yet.

“Not as it sounded to me…” his voice was meant when I looked down into the bucket and became nauseous again, what the hell had I done? I could not even kill myself if it was… I sat down on the floor, helpless… I didn’t want this more, I just wanted to be with Caleb and avoid all this power games, I happened in what they wanted, all of them.

“I'm letting your baby live, if you come to me, and that's more than Terrence will offer you.” I sat stiffly in the scrub; how could I have this conversation with Kyle of all people? I leaned heavily against my hands and cried now, damn take them all. All f*****g men in the whole world.

“I solve it, somehow…” I did not know what I answered when he just sighed on the other side.

“You will come to me, you know that you belong here, with me…” I did not answer, did not want it, part of me wanted to him, my blood belonged to him, but my Luna, the one who was with Alpha refused, and I, the human part of me was disgusted by all he had to offer.

“So proud. We'll see if you're late when Terrence has you in silver and makes you scream for mercy just because he wants to see you suffer.”

“f**k off Kyle.” I said the words hard when I blinked, cut him off and was alone in the scrub, I was so confused, why did Kyle have to have me? he could find a beta like everyone else and have a hundred children if he wanted to, but not with me… then… he had said I was pregnant… I did not even know if I was, it had been too short… I had let Caleb finish in me just two weeks ago, which maybe was all that was needed now when I thought about it… it would be so hard if he lost, or hard what an understatement, part of me would die with him.

“Luna.” I sighed in gratitude that it was Caleb now and not Kyle… I stopped by myself, he had heard me, that I was talking to kyle.

“So, what did he want?” His voice was calm, calmer than I expected as I did not know if I wanted to tell the truth, or even think about it.

“That I would come to him… and that we were royal or something like that…” I stayed there, I wanted to tell the rest, but he was already pressured enough as it was, I needed him, that he would win this, for my sake, for us.

“of course, he did…” he sighed on the other side when I got up shaking, I wanted to see him, now.

“Where are you?” I opened the door to the scrub as he stood there looking at me with his warm grey eyes, he was worried, for everything, for me when I threw myself into his arms and now cried uncontrollably, I could not take it anymore, how much would I need to take? He would leave me, I would have to be myself and try to be a Luna without him, half of me who would be gone, and our child would grow up somewhere without him.

“Mila?” his voice was worried when I looked at him now crying, I did not know yet, not sure but I thought so, I pointed to the bucket and cried more as he sighed and pulled me harder to him, his whole body was stiff now as if his nightmare really was true now.

“Please do not die… “I hung on to him now, begged him to stay, I did not know what I would do without him. he was my life.

“To my last breath…” he repeated the words he said when we talked about this for the first time, which was sick early, it was still early but I loved him so much, what choice did I have but to beg him to fight? My options got worse and worse with each passing day, it seemed.

“I can’t live without you alpha.” I looked crushed on his sad face, my whole self, my whole soul, my heart and body were his, I wished I had never made him challenge Terrence, it was my fault, everything.

“No. I had already thought about it, you just made me realize that it was time instead of hiding behind some promise that would never happen.”

“if you had never seen me, then you would have been happy with some beta girl and been happy unaware if I even existed…” I cried again when he comforted me again and smiled warmly now at me, who had done in the cottage, where he had just been Caleb, no one else.

“I was unhappy until I saw you, nothing can change that, or wish I had not done it.”

“I just love you so much and I do not know what I do if you disappear.” I was scared now, everything that had come to the surface, Caleb could not lose.

“I'm going to win my love.” He said it convincingly when I hit his eyes, I would make sure he did, somehow… I smiled at him now, encouraged and kissed him deeply, I had an idea, it was not the best, but I would do it, all for him.