A Gift of Love for Christmas

Cold Feet

Lyra’s POV

I felt tingles in my back and butterflies in my stomach as I watched River’s car go out of my parents’ driveway. Gosh! He was going to be my death.

His eyes were my weakness but his voice was a more lethal weapon against me. I was sure I was soaked through with the way he spoke in my ears. I closed my eyes and wrapped my hands around myself as I rubbed my shoulder through my jacket.

‘I guess you were thinking of River as your brother, right?’ Mum said beside me, and I jumped in fright.

‘Mum?’

‘What? Did I scare you?’ Mum asked with sarcasm dripping from her words.

‘Why did you sneak up on me like that?’ I asked frowning.

‘Did I?’ Mum asked raising a brow.

‘Yes, you did,’ I said confidently.

‘Really? I believe that even if a train was moving your way at the moment you were staring after that car, you wouldn't have known. I stood there calling you, but you didn't hear, and neither did you hear my footsteps when I approached,’ Mum explained, and I blushed hard.

Damn it! I was so carried away by that brief moment with River. I was becoming unsure of whether to go on the date with him or not. How was I supposed to be with River and keep my hands off him?

‘Let's go inside. It is cold outside, and I can see that you are already getting lost in thought again,’ Mum said, then turned around and walked into the house. I followed her in with my heart still beating fast at the fact that I was going on a date with River.

It was a teary atmosphere later when Phil had to tell our parents that his time in the army was over. We all knew how passionate he was about being a soldier. Mum and Dad hugged him and cried while I sat in my chair and tried to stay strong.

‘Don't worry, Uncle Phil, when I grow up, I will become a soldier and take you with me,’ Charlie said innocently, and we all laughed,d, breaking the tense moment.

‘That will be good champ. At least that way, you get to do what I never did,’ Phil said, rubbing Charlie's hair playfully.

‘I am sorry if I sound selfish and insensitive, Phil, but I prefer you come home this way than in a casket with the nation's flag on it,’ I said,d, and the room fell silent.

My parents didn't expect that I would say that so they were scared of Phil's reaction. We all knew it was a sensitive topic for him. Phil had his head bowed for a few seconds and I expected him to raise his head and vent his anger on me.

‘You know what, I think you are right. It is better coming home this way than in a coffin. I lost two of my platoon members that day. One was blown apart unrecognizable but I survived. So I think you are right,’ Phil said smiling at me.

‘So what is your plan?’ Dad asked, changing the topic, and Phil told us as we were having dinner that he had no specific plan, but River had asked him to join him in business, and he was considering it.

‘That means you will have to move to Pittsburgh?’ I asked.

‘Yes, that is where River's business is,’ Phil answered.

‘Can’t you find something else to do? Must you join his line of business?’ I asked wearily.

‘What is his line of business?’ Phil asked raising a brow.

‘I don't know. But…’ Phil did not allow me to finish the sentence before cutting me short.

‘You don't know his line of business yet you judge him?’ Phil asked. I knew that Phil and River were very close and they could easily pass for brothers with the way they treated each other but I didn't expect the anger in his eyes because he thought I was judging his friend.

‘Excuse me,’ I said then left the dining. I grabbed my coat on my way out and wore it.

I sat down heavily on the step outside with my hands folded on my chest. Phil was angry because of what I said about River. I don't know what he saw or heard but River wasn't clean.

The door opened and I looked back to see Phil come outside. He came down the steps and sat by my side with difficulty.

‘How bad is your wound?’ I asked out of concern.

‘Quiet bad. But it is nothing physiotherapy can't help me cope with,’ Phil answered.

‘I am sorry,’ I said sincerely

‘I will be fine,’ he said, then added, ‘I am sorry that I reacted that way inside. I don't just like that you judge River when you have not actually allowed him to prove to you that he is a good person.’

‘I am sorry that I am judging him but River is rumored to be in the Mafia. What if that is true?’

‘River wasn't privileged to grow up the way you and I did. He fought his way to where he is today. You expect that person not to be tough?’

‘Tough is good but being a Mafia Boss is wrong.’

‘You are too judgemental, Lyra. Why don't you try and give him a chance to be closer? Maybe then, you will see him in a better light.’

‘I am not interested,’ I said and we both fell into silence for a while before.

‘Lyra, I want to ask you a question and I don't want you to lie to me. What happened between you and River that Christmas before he left Logsville?’ Phil asked and I turned to him in surprise.

‘You noticed?’ I asked in surprise.

‘Yes, I noticed. Something broke inside River and you avoided him till he left. What happened?’ Phil asked again.

‘Phil, please don't ask me. It is something I intend to keep to myself,’ I said turning away from him.

‘You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I know you love River. If what happened between you was as a result of what you think will happen if I knew then you have nothing to worry about,’ Phil said.

‘What are you talking about?’ I asked him turning to him again.

‘What I am telling you is that you are free to date River if that is what you want,’ Phil said.

‘I just got out of one hell of a toxic marriage Phil. You think I should get into a relationship with another person right now?’

‘You have known River for a long time. He is not a stranger. Besides you want him. It is written all over your face.’

‘No. I don't want someone like him,’ I said.

‘Keep deceiving yourself Lyra. The tension between you two was palpable in the car back from Dame,’ Phil said then grinned playfully before standing up and limping back into the house.

Why was my entire family pushing me towards River? I didn't want him back then because of a different reason from the one that made me not want him as an adult, but all the same, I was not prepared for a life of ups and downs that involved loving someone like him. I was seriously developing a cold feet about the date the next day.

After some more minutes outside, I decided to go back in since my hands were going numb from the cold.

When I walked inside, I saw Charlie talking animatedly to Phil, and Phil kept laughing at his words. Phil loved children and I know that now that he was back, he wouldn't hesitate to settle down. My parents were seated close to each other watching a program on the television.

‘Okay Charlie, let's go brush your teeth. Time to go to bed,’ I said, then said goodnight to Phil and my parents before ushering a grumbling Charlie into the room and then into the bathroom.

The next day, I woke up with a big lump in my throat. I thought of not turning up for the date but each time I thought of that, I remembered what he whispered in my ears.

I was having cold feet about the date because I wasn't sure that I could resist River if he decided to kiss me or even go all the way with me.

Trying not to be a coward, I got dressed that morning to go to the rink to meet him. I went with Mum to the resort. When it was almost five o'clock, I thought of not going, then I thought of going with Charlie. At least that way, I would be able to control myself,f, knowing well that a child, my child, was there.

I decided against going with Charlie and told Mum to go home if I was not back by six thirty.

‘You have a date with River,’ my mum asked.

‘Mum,’ I said rolling my eyes. As I walked out of her shop, I heard her asking me to have a nice time. Mothers can get on one's nerves sometimes.

As I walked closer to the rink, I could see that a match was in full swing. I didn't see River at first, but when I finally did, I couldn't stop the smile that walked its way onto my face.

Gosh! Saying River was handsome was an understatement. He was every woman's wet dream. Looking casual in a jeans and shirt that had the logo of a team on it, he made my heart beat a tad faster. Just like that, my cold feet went out of the window, but I just hoped that by the time the night was over, I would still be my sane self or insane in bed with River pushing my tongue down his throat!