My Diary

29th May 2005 I’ve been so busy I forgot to write. Last week Donna came up to me and asked me if I was keen on Jason. Yuk, he’s a creep. I said no and she was relieved. She wants to kiss him. I’m repulsed at the very thought. Why would she want to kiss a creepy boy? I’ve noticed Stephanie looking at me a lot in class. I like her. She’s fun to be with but she doesn’t want anyone else to join in our conversations at recess. She said she wants us to be exclusive. I don’t know what that means but I got all tingly when she said it. * * * * That was the start of what was to become the norm for me. I didn’t realize it at the time but being with Stephanie was the beginning of me becoming aware of my sexuality. I became conscious of the fact I didn’t like boys and was much more comfortable hanging out with girl friends. I had no desire to kiss a boy or even fantasize about going out with one. One night when Stephanie was sleeping over, she came on to me. At first we were just wrestling around in bed. We’d begun by tickling each other and then suddenly she was on top of me and neither of us spoke. We just stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like a long time and then she bent down and kissed me on the lips. It was like a bolt of lightning seared through me. I loved it, loved the softness of her mouth on mine, her weight on me, and the feel of her small breasts crushing my own. When her hand slipped down between my thighs I felt my breathing stop. I was both terrified and excited of what was to happen. She stared into my eyes as her hand stole in between my legs. She wiggled her wrist around indicating I should open them. I did. A whimper escaped me as she touched my slit. Then she was in and out of my folds, my p***y was wet with desire as she located my clit and rubbed at it. I was so turned on I came almost instantly. I grabbed at her and threw her on her back. I ravaged her body, raining kisses everywhere, and when I made my way down to her p***y, I nuzzled in, licking and tasting her sweet nectar, fingering her and touching every inch of her body, loving the way she felt, the contours of her body, and the softness of her flesh. We lay together that night holding each other and finally admitting we were different.