His mistaken Identity

Chapter 21

It had been a moment, like a pause in time when the air around them had sparked and fizzled with anticipation and need. The smell of baby products in the closed room hadn’t even distracted from the smell of vanilla and lavender he had come to associate and recognize as Jane’s natural personal scent. It had washed over him, intoxicating him, urging him to act.

Christopher looked back on it now and wondered what had held him back. She had been right there. She had looked up at him with pure desire and hunger in her eyes, the very desire he had felt scorching his veins with every beat of his heart. But he had held back. Lord help him, he had held back. Christopher shook his head. He couldn’t wrap his head around it.

He replayed it in his mind again. He hadn’t leaned down and kissed her. Her lips had been right there, parted and boldly inviting him to seal his lips to hers. Gosh, he felt like slapping himself hard. He hadn’t even touched her, even though every nerve in his body had twitched with the urge to do so.

Of course, Tony had also effectively poured the equivalent of a cold bucket of ice water on the moment by crying irritatedly for being ignored. But Christopher still gave himself several mental slaps and kicks for having just stood there like an i***t. He wanted to believe that he had just tried to be a good man, a gentleman. The woman had after all lost her boyfriend and the father of her son just months ago, but deep down he knew that had nothing to do with why he had held back.

He combed his fingers through his hair and released a heavy sigh. Frustration didn’t begin to describe all that was going through him. But there was no point crying over ‘should have’ and ‘could have’. Especially not hours later. He had already regretted it every minute since.

Christopher had always pitied people who mentally tortured themselves for hours, days even, after an incident they could no longer control. It was a tiring and awfully frustrating way to go through life. But he now found himself in the same boat.

It was the middle of the night. He should have been asleep hours ago, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Regret also didn’t come close to beginning to describe the emotion he felt. The word regret felt like an understatement of the year, just like frustration.

He could have consoled himself by thinking that another moment would present itself again, and soon. After all, they were still living with him under his roof and protection. It was just a matter of waiting for another spark in the air moment and he would take full advantage of it. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in the mood for self-consolation and hopeful futures.

Water boiling in the electric kettle drew his mind away from his thoughts. Christopher grabbed a mug and walked over to make a cup of green tea. With any luck, the natural stuff would help him grab a few hours of sleep.

Because God help him, he needed sleep. Sleep meant not thinking. Not thinking meant not regretting. He was hoping by the time he woke up tomorrow morning he wouldn’t feel the urge to kick himself so strongly he could probably give himself a concussion.

Just then, a movement behind him alerted him that he was no longer alone in the kitchen with his thoughts. His heart picked up pace. Christopher gave himself a mental shake. His behavior towards the woman was really crossing into crazy territory. But he couldn’t help being happy that she wasn’t asleep. Maybe she too couldn’t stop thinking about the moment earlier in the day. It was only fair he wouldn’t be the only one suffering with regrets. At least it was very fair in his book.

“Would you like a cup?” he asked over his shoulder, lifting the box of green tea. He hoped his voice came out casual and friendly.

When silence met his question, he thought; maybe not. That was strange, though. Because he knew she was there. Curious, he turned around and looked at her. She was just standing there, watching him from what would be considered the boundary between the kitchen and the sitting room.

She wore a gray loose nightshirt that reached almost mid-thigh. Of course, he had bought it on his last run to the mall. He recognized it, but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember why he had picked the damn thing. It did nothing to compliment the woman’s beauty or body. Christopher made a mental note to buy her much prettier clothes in the future.

The fact that he was even thinking of a future where he gladly went shopping for pretty and sexy wear for this woman should have given him a moment of pause. But the only thing it did was make his heart beat harder against his ribs. If he wasn’t young and fit as a horse, he would have feared giving himself a heart attack with the way his heart pounded in his chest.

Christopher shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked at her closely. She hadn’t moved or said a word. She just stared at him. A slight frown creased his forehead. “Jane?” He hoped she hadn’t retreated to the zombie-like state she had been in when they got to the farm a week ago. Thankfully, Jane snapped out of her trance-like state and blinked at him.

Jane hadn’t even realized she was staring at the man for a good minute. She cleared her throat to find her voice and organize her thoughts. “Uhm… ya?”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” she answered. Except for the fact that she couldn’t sleep and kept thinking of him, Jane thought.

She looked at him. Her eyes dropped to his lips and without even realizing it, her tongue peeked out of her mouth and wet her lips.

Christopher’s breath froze in his throat. He watched her tongue moisturize her lips intently. The ache to take her in his arms intensified. He wanted to crush her soft breasts against his chest, kiss her until her lips were swollen. Christopher shuddered as though he had stuck his finger in an electric socket. His body’s reaction was so sudden he had to hold on to the counter for support. He already knew the taste of her lips. He wanted more. More than anything, he wanted to thrust into her body and join them in the most intimate way possible.

Somehow, he felt strength return to his legs, and his feet moved before his brain even caught up with the action. The green tea was forgotten. He closed the distance that separated them until he was right in front of her.

A moment of doubt hit him, but it quickly blew away when he looked into her eyes.

“I want to kiss you again,” he said softly, his eyes fixed on her now wet, shiny lips. He could still remember their first kiss like a favorite dream, and he wanted a fresh memory desperately.

Lucky for him, she was on the same wavelength as him. “I want to kiss you, too.”

“Then why aren’t we kissing?”

“I...I don’t know.” She choked on a brief chuckle, swallowed, and looked down as though a little unsure.

Christopher wasn’t going to let this moment pass. Not after agonizing over the one he lost earlier in the day for hours. “We have to rectify that.” He took her in his arms and whispered, “Right now.”

His head lowered, then he paused for a second, just a breath away from her lips as if giving her the chance to back down if she didn’t want it. Jane stretched up instead, closed the gap, and sealed her lips to his. It wasn’t bold or wanton; it was perfect and within seconds; he took over.

Sometime later, Christopher broke the kiss. Jane drew in several breaths, drawing in much-needed oxygen into her lungs. Her lips were swollen and sore from the kiss that had been almost desperate in nature once Christopher had increased the pressure and nibbled at her lip. She could also feel the burn his facial hair had left on her smooth skin.

She was almost dizzy. The only thing holding her up was his strong arms wrapped around her. His strength supported her like a concrete pillar.

He was saying something, but the part of her brain that processed sounds into meaningful words had shut down during the kiss. She blinked up at him with a blank, confused expression.

A breathless chuckle escaped his lips. Christopher placed his hand on her cheek, hoping it got her to focus a little better. He could tell she was as lost in the heat between them as he was, but by some grace, his ears still worked and he had heard a little boy cry. Tony and he really needed to have a man-to-man talk very soon, he thought.

“Tony’s awake,” he told her slowly. Christopher waited for a beat. Thankfully, this time, she heard him. He could see understanding in her eyes even though her reaction time was still very slow.

“Oh.” She licked her lips again and blinked. Then she pulled out of his arms, paused, and looked at him for a long moment before she walked back to her room in an almost dazed state.

Christopher waited for a while. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, maybe for Jane to return. But some minutes later, he realized it wouldn’t happen. She had to take care of Tony and maybe, just maybe, she had changed her mind.

Reluctantly, he returned to his room, minus the green tea he had made. He undressed until he was left in his boxers, then he laid down on his bed and just stared at the ceiling.

Every sound in the house could be heard in the quiet of the night. Christopher listened to the hum of the fridge in the kitchen and the sound of insects outside the house. He could hear the wind blowing through the trees and crops. Then a sound he hadn’t expected cut through all the noise that had all blended together into some sort of harmonious soundtrack.

Jane’s bedroom door opened very slowly. He heard her soft steps as they came towards his door. Christopher held his breath and looked at the door. The main light in the room was off, but his bedside lamp was on and it cast a soft dim light over the room and the door.

He watched as the knob turned painfully slowly, then Jane stood there in the doorway and looked at him. But she wasn’t alone. In her arms, she carried the moses basket in which Tony slept. He had no idea what it meant and so said nothing.

Taking his silence as agreement, she stepped further into the room. She carefully placed the moses basket on the table in the room near the wall. After checking that her son was still peacefully asleep, she walked over to the bed.

She only paused for a moment, uncertain and a little nervous, before she climbed into bed and tacking herself into his side, and used his bare chest for a pillow.

With only a second of hesitation, Christopher wrapped his arm around her and sighed happily. It felt right; it felt great. They obviously needed to talk, but that could wait for later.

***

The full moon in the sky made it easy to see the farmhouse. The brightness was almost reflecting off the white walls, making the little house a lighthouse in a sea of darkness.

A man dressed in full black stepped out of the shadows near the fields that surrounded the house and approached the little house quietly. It was almost impossible to see him as he blended into the night. He kept his head low and moved slowly.

He had been watching for hours, waiting for the occupants in the house to fall asleep. It had taken long, but he was finally sure both Christopher and Jane were now asleep. It had been a while since he saw a bulb turn on in any of the rooms.

He looked up at the sky. Dawn wasn’t too far now. He had to make his move now.