I sat on a chair, staring unseeing out the window.
An untouched tray of food was on the table in front of me. I had no appetite. After what had transpired between Christopher and me earlier, I had no appetite for food or for anything at all.
The weight of guilt was too heavy in mind. As well as the shame, bitterness and humiliation. I wanted to blame Christopher for all these feelings but I knew I was mostly to blame for playing with fire. I had been too frustrated and impatient. I let him rile me up. He just had the power to evoke certain feelings from me and it was my fault because I gave it to him.
I endured endlessly to prevent falling into the life-long pit of pain and suffering that my father had planned for me. I lived struggling, thinking that I could avoid it once I ran away.
