Hating My Bodyguard

6. My fûcking nemesis

KATLYN

I Fisted my trembling fingers and with much effort ran out of my father’s office. Ignoring my mother’s call, I ran upstairs to my room as I felt the all-too-familiar surge of energy coursing through my veins, an unsettling prelude to an outburst that I didn’t want to succumb to, especially not right now when he was this close.

My fingertips tingled uncontrollably, a physical manifestation of the boiling rage that threatened to consume me every time I fell prey to the disease ruling my brain. The need to lash out, to release the pent-up anger clawed at my consciousness, always leaving me feeling trapped and powerless no matter how many medicines I took, how many doctors I visited.

In a desperate attempt to contain the storm burying inside me, I put my fist in my mouth and bit down as my legs shook on their way to my room. Each step felt heavy, as if the weight of those horrible three days was coming down on me to push me over the edge. To let the world no what will happen if anyone hurt me. To purge out the demons that darkened my soul.

The moment I stepped inside my bedroom, I slammed the door shut behind me with a resounding thud, shutting out the outside world and isolating myself with my rage where no one could witness what an unhinged lunatic I was. Where I wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone else, where the world remain oblivious of the demons that lived inside me.

Fûck.

I looked around the room, the light green walls and white curtains. The silk green comforter over a white bedsheet and pillows. No sign of those dark grey walls and no sign of the blood. No sign of my tattered clothes or the dead bodies that smelled.

You are okay, Kat.

Everything is okay.

You are safe.

Free.

Un. Deux. Trois. Quatre. Cinq. Six. Sept—

“Katlyn?” My mother’s voice startled me and I backed away from the door. “Are you okay?” She tried to open the door and then asked, more concerned now when she found it was locked. “Open the door, Leena, let me in.”

I shook my head. I knew it was my mother but despite that insanity took hold and whatever little hold I had slipped as I screamed at her to leave me alone. A suffocating rage took hold of me and not for the first time I was in the middle of a storm that I myself started.

I checked out from the reality as my mind went into the dark abyss.

I didn’t know how long it was. But I didn’t remember how I ended up staring at my reflection in the mirror as I washed my hands in the sink in my bathroom. When I came back to myself, I saw my red hands that seemed like they were only seconds away from having their skin peeled off with how aggressively I was rubbing them. My breaths were ragged as my chest moved up and down like I had ran miles. I tried to control my breathing as I counted in French, focused on the green flowers on the shower curtain.

And when I finally shut off the tap and went back to my bedroom, I stopped short. I gritted my teeth as I saw the destruction I have wrecked on my bedroom. It wasn’t the first time but it sure happened after too long that it took me by surprise. I was already familiar with the destructive path my raging mind takes, but I had hoped that somehow it was under control. Seemed like I was only lying to myself. Seemed like I’d never get rid of this disease.

The broken glasses crunched under my heels as I made my way to the door to unlock it, but before I could the door opened from the outside and once again I was face to face with none other than my bodyguard. My fûcking nemesis who made me feel smaller than a fûcking ant with just one glance.

I watched as his dark eyes went over my shoulder and he perused the room behind me before those dark eyes came down on me. “Throwing a tantrum when you don’t get your way? What will you do next, stomping your way back to Daddy?”

I clenched my jaw and wondered if I would be the first one to kill her own bodyguard. “Leena?” My mother rushed in from behind him and then gasped when she saw the state of my bedroom. A frown touched her forehead and she took my hand in hers. “Are you alright?”

I saw the look that crossed his beautiful face at the way my mother hovered over me with her worried hands caressing my arm. He thought me a pampered bîtch and maybe I was, but he didn’t know shît and I wasn’t every going to explain myself to the likes of him. Judgmental prîck. “I am fine, mom. Let’s go downstairs.” I ushered my mom out and closed my bedroom door.

.

I managed to calm my parents down enough that they wouldn’t stop me from going to my new apartment. My father was reluctant after he knew about my attack in the bedroom but after much convincing he had agreed on the condition that I’ll listen to Zurich and adhere to his rules for my safety. His rules, my arse.

Now on my way to the new apartment, I looked at him sitting beside me as he typed on his phone. The instant beeps of an incoming messages told me that he was chatting with someone and for some stupid reason I was curious enough to know if it was his girlfriend. But something told me that he wasn’t a kind of a man to have a girlfriend. Like come on, any man with such good looks and that shitty personality couldn’t have a girlfriend. He was probably more of a ‘wham bam thank you mam’ kind of a man. I bet he never asked for their names too. Fûcking arsehôle.

“If you have had your fill of glaring at me for the day then you might want to step out. We are here.”

I blinked and noticed him pocketing his phone as he opened his side of the door and stepped out. The man who had accompanied him was already outside with Theo. Shît. Did I really lose the track of time, once again? And that too over him.

I took a deep breath and instead of hurrying out, I calmly stepped out of the car and rounded it to stand by Theo’s side. I looked at the building where I was going to live for my last year of college and then looked back at Theo as I said, “Really? You couldn’t have found something much better?”

“I wasn’t the one who chose this building.” He gestured at Z. “It was all him.”

I slid my gaze to Z who did a great job of ignoring me as he talked to his man. After finishing his conversation he turned to Theo and said, “Let’s go. I’ll tell you about the residents and give you the schedule for your shifts.”

I frowned at him. Until now Theo had supervised my security details but Z was speaking like he was the one in charge of everything now. I opened my mouth but didn’t get a chance to say a word when his phone started to ring. He gave a bunch of keys to Danish before accepting the call and then excused himself.

“Come on, what does it matter if it’s a mansion or a cozy apartment? It’s yours.” Theo said, trying to cheer me up and ushered me inside the building. I looked over my shoulder and found his dark eyes already tracking me.

.

ZURICH

“Daddy misses you, sweetheart.” I watched as my daughter’s lips tilted up in a sort of a smile and my heart almost exploded in my chest to see her finally starting to accept me and getting better than the girl I had found. I swallowed as I asked, “Have you had your dinner?” She nodded, her curls bouncing around her face. “What did you eat?”

“Grandma make cakes.”

Instead of correcting her, I arched a brow. “Cakes? You had cakes in dinner?” She frowned and her expression quickly morphed in fear. I hurriedly changed my tone realizing that she still didn't understand any other emotion except anger, I made my voice more softer as I asked, “What kind of cakes did you have?”

Slowly, her brows relaxed and she replied, “With chocolate chips and blueberries.”

“That’s good. Is your grandma there?” She looked behind the phone and then shook her head.

I bit back a smile as I said, “Sweetheart, remember the time when we went to a dentist and how he explained what happens when we eat too much sweets?” She nodded. “Why don’t you tell that to your grandma too?”

Soon my mother filled the screen like I had hoped. And believe it or not, but the woman knew how to earn respect and instill fear in her grown ass sons, even on most occasions she had made Gabriel obey her. Genevieve Colson glared at me through the phone screen as she said, “Don’t try to teach me what the doctor said or not. She wanted cakes and as her grandmother I made them for her.”

“Mom—”

“If you’ve so much problem then come here and be with your daughter.” Her voice softened as she added, “She was particularly sad today, Zurich. I think she misses you even if she’s not saying it.”

“I know. I miss her too.”

“You were going to come home. Why are you still there?”

Right. I was supposed to be in London, I had a flight just this morning which I missed for obvious reasons but all my plans to go back home and be with my daughter went to shît when Gabriel received that phone call and, I realized that Katlyn was in danger and took it upon myself to protect her. “I will be there soon. I had something come up.”

“Is it more important than your own daughter?”

“Of course, not. But I needed to be here.”

She sighed. “I received a call from her school, the teacher said that she wasn’t much active in the class.”

“It’s okay. She’s just getting used to her new life, mom, it takes time even for grown-ups and she’s just a kid.”

“I don’t know, Zurich. I think you should be here, and maybe you should marry—”

“Mom, we already had that talk. I’m not marrying, I am enough for her.”

“How is that enough when you’re not even here?” I didn’t have an answer to that and my mother knew. She said, “Fine. I won’t say it again, but come home soon. I miss you too.”

I smiled absently and nodded. After talking to my daughter for a few more minutes, I hung up and made my way inside the apartment building.

Almost two years ago my life changed and from a carefree man who didn't give a single fûck about anything I went to becoming a man responsible for a six year old girl who was my own flesh and blood, and whom I knew nothing about until the moment I was threatened with her life. Now while I worked for Gabriel, I also worked to improve my relationship with my daughter despite the fact that the said daughter always looked at me with fear and sadness that never leaves her eyes.

I wish I could change the first six years of her life, but it was impossible and all I have left is present and future that I could make better for her. And I was trying, only sometimes it beats me to understand what she actually needs.

I let out a long breath as I checked the corridors and the back exit before climbing the stairs to the fourth floor. Even though I had told Danish to make the rounds, I wanted to confirm myself that nothing was amiss. I had picked out this building as it was equally close to Mr Barsetti’s house and her college and even the French quarter wasn’t too far away from here. But more than that, the main reasons were the lack of elevators, unnecessary rush of people that were found in huge numbers of apartment buildings with their so called amenities which was most definitely what the spoilt brat was complaining about. But if someone asked me, it was much safer in this small building without elevators and other security measures that could be manipulated. Now, the only security she’ll have will be mine and of course, Theo.

When I reached the fourth floor with only one apartment, I checked the windows in the corridor and fire exit before making my way inside the apartment. I found Danish and Theo standing in the kitchen with a glass of water but no sign of the bratty princess. When Danish saw me, I arched a brow in silent enquiry and he pointed at the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

I was about to take a look around the place when Theo stopped me. “What is it about me staying downstairs in another apartment?”

I looked at him and answered, “Exactly what it sounds like.”

“You mean you're going to stay here, alone with her?” I didn't deem it necessary to reply to that, if he had a problem he could take that up with his boss. He walked toward me. “You think just because you were sent by Gabriel Wolfe you're someone important and can dictate everyone around you.”

“I didn't say that but if you want to put it that way…” I shrugged. “This floor only has one apartment so you are on the third with Danish.”

“Wait, what?” Katlyn snapped from behind me.

I turned around, a rebuttal ready on my lips but lost my fûcking breath when I laid my eyes on her. Fûck me.

.

A. Gupta

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