Forbidd3n

I was always a loner but I liked to talk alot sometimes, typical aquarius you will say , but on this day nothing could be heard by my tears trickling down on the floor, my eyes red and cheeks rosy.It was my first day out of my village and I didn't know how to feel about it, the freedom and change of environment was overwhelming. Could I fit in or would I just be another outcast just like in my home? I took my towel and headed to the showers to better my feelings, that's where I realized that we only had eight showers for over a hundred students and all were booked, deciding I'd just pass one of them then return their booking afterwards, I locked the door and started crying some more just to fill the void that I felt in my heart, that's when I heard banging on the other side of the door and a girl shouting for me to walk out of her space , I was shocked and frightened , tears flowing freely, this wasn't what I was hoping my new life would be. Before I could take my towel and walk out before causing more trouble, the girl snatched it, causing even more drama attracting the attention of everyone in the hallways. Shouting that I should walk out stark naked she banged the door harder, her friends cheering her on and throwing insults my way. Apparently luck was on my side today, a prefect walked in on the situation and ordered them to return the towel to me so I could walk out, I thought the situation was better until I stepped out of the bathroom cubicle and found everyone lining up so I could pass through as everybody checked me out snickering and bickering. Never have I felt so low in my life before, my roommates tried calming me down but all I could was cry like a baby, my body shaking and just wanting to go back to the little village I came from. That night I didn't sleep a wink all I could think was how my life had turned from bad to worst in just a day. What I thought could have been a new exciting phase of my life turned out to be a nightmare . The next day was easy, I kept quiet to avoid more drama , only doing exactly what I was supposed to do , keeping to the walls , this was the only way I could keep off trouble.For the next three days everything was okay, classes had started and I now had something to focus on, but truth be told I wasn't studying s**t all I was focusing on was reading novels and trying to keep off reality, trying to calm my nerves and relieve some stress. That's when I saw her, she wasn't like the others, she kept her cool was always writing but I couldn't figure out what , was quiet unless somebody talked to her and she was always neat. I loved neat people. Her eyes were brown and sparkled if she was standing near light, her lips were perfection, her body art, I'd never felt so attracted to someone let alone a girl. But how could I feel all of this when I knew very well it was a sin , I had seen Stella a girl in our village get disowned from her home because she had kissed a girl after being from the big city, why was I viewing her as somebody I'd like to be with when I knew very well she wouldn't even consider me , I was nothing and her, well perfection. I had found an obsession because from when I saw her all I could concentrate on was her. She was a diamond among rocks , whenever I heard her scent , her name all I could do was shiver and fully focus on her. she was evoking emotions I never knew I had . At the back of my mind , my family voices reminded me that I was straying away from our believes , from what I had known and been taught since I was little but what could save me but her? But maybe I could risk it all for her, I was always a chance taker and wanted to explore everything that's was new to me and maybe vivoh was it, maybe she would be my future , if she even thought of me as anything more than a weirdo and a wallflower but I'd give it a chance and see how it went. Days went by slowly , I started making friends , became more of a weirdo and attracted more weirdos to my group of friends. We started stealing from the school farm just for fun and selling them to get more cash, my life became easier more tolerable. I never talked to her though I hadn't gained enough courage to do that. And just like that , the first semester was over and it was time for a break , life back home was harder I saw everything at a new perspective that nobody understood, I couldn't share my stories with anybody because I'd just be judged, I basically had nothing to do. Just watch the sun set and hope she was on the other side watching it with her eyes dazzling in the glow of light . I prayed for the days to pass by faster so I could see her face and be mesmerized by it, watch as she wrote and nib at her pen when she was thinking or when when sleep was taking her and she'd just fold her arms and sleep, that girl was beautiful, mesmerizing even , sad thing is she probably didn't even know my name , but at least I knew her's, or I was just being delusional like y'all out here , but at least it was better than my reality .