I'm Dying, Mate

(4) The Mark

FREDO

"You knew, mother?" I whisper, the news not fully absorbed by my brain. I couldn't help but glare at the woman that I feared all throughout my childhood. The woman who cast us aside the moment we turned in to the children the Elders wanted us to be.

The humans with the Alpha gene who would produce muscular werewolves and lead the species into a better future. I admit that we have turned our backs on her because she wasn't much of a mother, to begin with.

She has always preferred Dianna more than anyone in the family. Whenever Dad asks her why the only thing she'll say is "Because females are rare in the family and most often than not, they're the most fragile ones."

But we knew, those were just excuses. We understood it's because we're not humans anymore. She couldn't accept that we've turned in to werewolves with no trace of the humanity she tried to instil in us. I've heard her curse at Dad a lot of times for carrying this gene, and indirectly cursing our existence.

She rolls her sleeves back down and says thank you to the female nurse, but once it lands on me, her gaze turns cold again. "Of course, I knew. She's my granddaughter and Dia needed help."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Ross stands from his seat, the colour on his face returning. He's worse than me when it came from the trauma our mother inflicted on us.

She scoffs, "You're werewolves with werewolf mates. Your head is either in that stupid pride of yours or what's in between the legs of your females." She glances at Farah beside me "No offence, dear."

Farah smiles kindly "It's okay, mom."

"A pack, mother" I correct her

"What?"

"We're a pack, not a pride."

"Oh, whatever." She dismisses us with a wave of her frail arm, and I wondered for a moment why we're so scared of her in the first place.

We've grown up into large hulking men that lead powerful werewolves into prosperity. I have more money than any politician, and I have more brains than a doctorate holder. This woman that gave birth to us has always been so strict, especially when we were chosen by the werewolf elders. Since then, I don't remember her being so warm to us.

"it's not whatever—that is not the point" I let out a growl directed at her to which made her look surprised and even a tiny bit shocked. Yes, mother, I have the balls to talk back now

"Dianna died, and Iona is dying. Didn't it occur to you to call your sons that could actually help?"

Her eyes widen, and her jaw drops. I thought for a moment that I finally derailed the living witch but what came out of her mouth next tells me I haven't at all. "My sons? The sons that haven't even called me once since Dianna left you. The elders as you call it must have raised you to break every other human relationship you have in hopes for new werewolf ones but if I was the one to raise you, you would have had the decency to call your ageing mother" her sneer on that particular word made her look archaic and even vengeful.

"Mother—" She cuts me off

"I don't know why I have to explain myself, but I do not have sons. Not anymore, my boys were sweet and caring, but they were taken from me, all I have left now is my granddaughter. I did what I had to do as a mother who was left abandoned by you who claims to be mine.

Dia and Iona were better off without the likes of you who abandon the one who gave birth to them. I would excuse them from the pain of it all rather than let their hopes be dashed away by you lot" With her chin held high, she looks away from us and directs her sight at Iona's door.

I sigh, a headache coming to me. "we didn't abandon you."

"You left" She scowls "Your father died waiting for your sorry asses, and you didn't have the decency to visit his funeral. You sent flowers as if that is enough"

"you didn't know," I say, the memories of me hunched over the desk as I cried in my office came back to me. Father was a good man, and he was a great father, he was the only respite from her we ever had, especially of the times we were allowed to come home, and we're greeted by this cold woman. "the pain of losing pappy was excruciating."

"Of course, I wouldn't know. Flowers don't talk, son" she hisses

It felt like a slap in the face, but I kept a blank look. Through all the years of handling my mother, I've learned to never show anything for her to pick on.

"I went" Ross admits, I can feel he is as infuriated and mad as I am, but he kept his cool façade. We learned the same things when it comes to our mother.

"I saw you, but you were as spineless as ever. You didn't even try to make yourself known. I had to hire men to carry his casket when he had sons." She scoffs "Sons, I wonder if you really were ours. The elders have ruined you."

"the elders made us strong, they taught us how to handle the responsibilities of those who carry the Alpha gene." Ross defends, and I nod in agreement.

"without them then we wouldn't be able to lead our packs along with our mates" I added

"Did it ever occur to you that life isn't just about your glorious destiny of being Alphas?" She laughs a bitter and cruel laugh. "You boys always had this idealistic goal of being werewolves and heroes. But you are still men, you would die with nothing of the power you have."

"That's—" I was cut off with the doctor who I learned was Iona's long term helper came out, he looks dishevelled and exhausted.

He looks at us and probably senses the tension that we were in, the kids were on the plastic chairs while we argued. I couldn't blame them for not wanting to weigh into our family squabble. He glances at mother, and I see him relax at the sight of a familiar face.

The idea of her knowing this all along angered me. I could have saved my sister from that idiotic husband of hers, and she would have been alive while taking care of her own daughter. But no, my mother had to be selfish and withheld everything from us.

We didn't even know how to look for them. How did I not scent my sister and Iona from mother on her visits with her grandchildren? How did I not know?

"Ah, Blackfield family" He takes off his blood gloves and even the mask. "I have good news."

"What is it, Frederick?" Mother says, concern and worry wrought in her voice. We only catch glimpses of that, but we never received any of her care.

"She's stable and…" he glances at us "She has the werewolf Alpha gene."

The silence in the room was deafening. I see my mother's face turn from relief into pure and absolute fear. She glances at us, her werewolf kin, and she sneers in disgust.

"What, mother? You're going to disown Iona too?" I mock

She ignores me while giving the doctor or Frederick a gracious smile "Thank you so so much. You've helped my baby a lot through the years."

He smiles back at her "That's what we do, we help as much as we can but also… there is more."

"More?" Ross asks, his interest piqued

"Iona's gene is…stronger and more complexed even. We think she has two mates."

I wanted to laugh at my mother's face. It twists and twitched not knowing what look to show or muster. If I had seen that face when we were young, I would have taken a picture of it to remind myself that the troll queen can be conquered.

"I see, that is good news then" her words were forced, but her eyes held gratitude at the doctor. She is known to be good at being polite and what not

"I'll call you once we transfer Iona to her room" The doctor smiles at us and left when a nurse calls for him

Then Mother turns to glare at me with all the hatred she can muster. "If you dare take her away from me to give to those blasted elders, I swear I would forget that I ever had sons and take her farther away from all of you."

"You wouldn—"

"Oh, I would" then for some sort of miracle, her eyes soften, and I see the pain in it. The kind of discomfort I've only seen once, and that's when the elders took us. "I can't lose another child of mine. Not by death or by something else. Iona is different, she's the only thing left from Dianna."

Stunned, I couldn't say anything. The others seem to be as stunned as me. I feel Farah's hand on my shoulder, and the sparks of our bond rousing me from my stupor.

"Mom" I whisper

"Don't call me that?" she softly says. "Mother would be fine."

Then she turns to leave

IONA

I didn't know what happened after the field of flowers and the burning. I was still thankful that I woke up from the pain-filled dream, no matter how beautiful it was. I open my eyes to see the familiar white ceilings of the hospital.

The ceiling looks like an old friend, it wasn't disorienting at all like what other people told me. It was comforting to know that I was back in the security of people who knew how to handle my dying body. It's because I'm in the hospital that I'm not in pain anymore and for that I'm thankful.

I hear a lullaby. It was familiar and warm, something I knew I listened to, for a while now. I look around and see Mammie by the window, which was her usual seat. She was cutting apples to look like rabbits and singing the lullaby I've heard whenever it's my birthday.

"Mam-Mammie" my voice broke, and I feel the dryness of my throat.

She looks at me, eyes wide with surprise and relief. "Iona" she smiles and pulls the chair with her to my side. The plate of rabbit apples on her lap while I see tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Aw, Mammie" I whisper, voice still scratchy.

"Water, you need water" she turns to the nightstand where the pitcher of water and glass was there. She gives me the cold glass, and I gratefully drank it with one hand to support its weight. I can't seem to move my other arm just yet.

"Iona" Mammie says between sobs "I was so scared you'll never wake up."

"What happened Mammie?" I ask looking around the room, and oddly enough, we were alone. My uncles and cousins weren't there, it felt strange without them there. Not even the hotheaded uncle Fredo

"The doctor said you're stable at least. You're fine for now and that…" Mammie let's out a whine in her throat. Too scared or to hurt to continue "you're dying" she whispers as if saying so would stop it from happening.

"I'm sorry for worrying you and not being able to call. I wanted to spend some days alone for a while, you know? Doing things on my own since it's been a while that I have been able to do that."

"No need to say sorry" she smiles, tears still trailing her cheeks. "I understand, let me get that" she takes the glass away from me and kisses my cheeks.

I've grown used to of Mammie crying, she is always crying. She is so fragile that I often watch the words that I say to her, fearing she'd cry with one wrong word.

She holds my hand on my right arm with both of hers. She smiles even when she's crying. I couldn't believe Mammie went all the way here to get to me, and I was thankful for the familiar face. I didn't know if I can take waking up in an empty room again.

Mammie keeps crying, she wouldn't let go of my hand as if it was the tether holding me here. This is what I'm afraid of, I don't want to make anyone suffer, I don't want anyone to cry that's why I chose to die than to live because living means having to hope. To hope that this disease is going to be cured when that is not going to happen.

Someone knocks and Doctor Frederick pokes his head out of the door, his eyes were serious and yet gentle, which could only mean something terrible. He looks at me and then to Mammie "Mrs Blackfield, could I speak to Iona in private?"

Mammie turns to look at him, and a gave a single nod "If it's you, doc, then okay." and she reluctantly lets go of my hand and kisses my forehead "Shout, if you need me."

"I will" I promised. I look at Doc and smile "What's up, Doc?"

He chuckles "you don't really care if you die or not don't you?"

I pursed my lips and sighed "I care Doc. I'm just doing this as gracious as I can and hope everyone is ready when I leave them."

"Then how about Synthia, you know she hasn't stopped talking about you at home. She wants to see you again, it has been a while. She knows you're pushing her away and it's not going well for the both of you."

I nod. Synthia is Doc's 10-year-old daughter that mom saved countless of times, and she was his only child. In gratitude, he decided to keep me, but I can see the guilt of failure on his shoulders when he told me I don't have much time left. "I'm sorry, I'll come by soon."

Synthia was also the reminder of how long I was in the hospital, 10 years of suffering from this pain, but I didn't care. Synthia made all the time I spent here in the hospital worthwhile, she gave me the gigantic teddy bear in my 15th birthday saying that if I miss her and if I'm sad, just hug the teddy bear and remember her.

I'm going to be 19 in a matter of months, they say I'll die on my birthday and will have a so-called dramatic scene for everyone but this time I want to spend my birthday quietly.

"So, Doc, what do you really want to talk about?"

Doc sighs "there was another reason why you lost a lot of blood," he says while rubbing his chin

"What is it?" I ask curiously. I play with the IV line and felt a twinge of pain when I accidentally touched the needle

"Well, look at your right torso."

I did what he said, and I see two names etched on my skin like a tattoo, the two names were one above the other. Damiano and Drake

My breath hitch at the beautiful sight of the symbol. "What's this?"

"That is the name of your mates, Iona. When we were operating, the name Damiano was burning indicating he was cheating on you with mating with another female and marking her as his"

I feel a pang of hurt in my chest. My blood ran cold at the mere image of it in my being, my shoulders went slack, and I had to lean back on my bed again to feel any semblance of being okay.

The burning in the fields finally made sense, the pain and the suffering I had to go through was immense, but for some reason, I can't help myself from thinking that it's my fault. If only I wasn't human, maybe he'd given me a chance.

"Wait, Doc! There are two names here… so that means I have two mates?"

Doc nods "It's a rare condition, but based on the werewolf legend. Every two or three hundred years, a human will have two mates, and she either chooses one of them or just the both of them. The offspring are often powerful and great leaders or warriors, but I haven't found any living offspring's or the three mates living in this era."

He grins "I told you, you're a one of a kind girl."

"Is it already the end of three hundred years?"

"Actually based on what I studied, it has already been five hundred years, and now we have you."

I shake my head, not being able to get my head around the idea of it "Please, Doc, don't tell Uncle or Mammie or my cousins or anyone!"

Doc moves closer, and I can see the hand on his side, clenches to a fist. "Why?"

"Doc, Damiano already rejected me, and you've seen it. I know this Drake guy will too."

"What makes you so sure?"

"it's just that there is really no hope" I whisper "I can't live in this life anymore because a lot of people are just going to get hurt."

"you do know, that your mates can cure you" he scoffs "You'll be able to live Iona! The only reason you're still here is that Drake hasn't rejected you yet and if he does, I don't know what would happen to you."

"But what if I don't want to live anymore?" I whisper, "Maybe I'm tired, Doc."

"So, that's why? You want to die."

"Yes, and I am so incredibly exhausted of hoping. I've lost too much to want to li-ve" my voice broke, feeling the heat in my throat as tears burned my eyes. "I want to go where they are."