I'm Dying, Mate

(2) The Lingering Past

(2) The Lingering Past

"Here," Farah says while giving Iona a tablet "just drink that, and all of the things that should stay inside will be inside."

Iona chuckles, she made a grateful smile and walks to the door to get a cold glass of water from the kitchen. Suddenly, Farah grabs her waist gently and pull her back in the room again

"What?" Iona says, unfazed. Her wide eyes swivel to Farah. The woman was small compared to the other males, especially her husband, but she can easily take Iona in her arms and swing her like a stuffed toy.

"Honey, don't ruin the surprise to the guys outside. I'll get you some water, and you stay here." She walks past Iona to the door but pauses the moment her hand touched the knob. Farah looked over her shoulder and gave her a squinting look "Don't do anything stupid, young lady."

Iona looks at her strangely with a goofy smile on her face "What? What makes you think I'll do anything stupid?"

Farah purses her lips, mulling over the words. She wasn't sure if it's a smart thing to say. She's scared she'll just hurt the poor child. "it's just that you're just too much like your mom" she gives her a small smile then went to the kitchen.

Iona looks at where Farah had left, instead of feeling sad she can't help but feel guilty. She knows Farah and her Mom were close like sisters, she feels so horrible that she didn't tell them about her death ages ago. Also, part of it is because she feels at fault for her Mom dying. She could have stopped her

4 years ago

It was like any other day in the hospital, Iona had her hair shaved since she knew it's going to fall out anyway because of the treatments. Her Mother being herself, tried to cheer her up with photographs that she took. She stares at the window with her camera on her lap, a gift from her 12th birthday, she took after her mother after all.

The frozen pictures, the lighting, the angle and the way some things are beautiful if you know the right way to look at it. Both she and her Mom were fascinated by these things. It's been a while since she took a picture of anything, the treatments make her arms shake and you need a steady hand to take a good shot.

There's a lot that didn't make sense to her, she knows that she was dying and people are trying to avoid that question. But what entirely throws her off is that she didn't know why her Father forbid her and her mother to go in contact with their other relatives.

Dianna tries really hard to keep Iona form forgetting them, she keeps telling her stories of her brothers and giving her pictures of when she was young with them. Hoping that it would be more than enough to do so.

Iona moved to get her box of pictures below her bed and got it without pulling the IV line on her left hand. She opens the box with shaky hands and smiles at the contents, this was all that she knows about them. Her own memories covered by a haze or fog-like she isn't quite sure if it really happened.

"Honey, good morning" her mother enters the room like a light of her own. Her dark eyes twinkling with delight at the sight of her frail daughter, her hair braided to keep it from obstructing her face. Her Mom had red lips, not like hers that has lost its colour, and her mother has a curvy and a little bit muscular body.

"Good morning, Mom" She smiles, replying hers. A warmth in her chest that wouldn't fade away.

Dianna caresses her daughters face, and smiles "guess what, honey."

"What mama?" Iona asks, a little bit curious.

"Mama finally has money to do the foundation in Africa," Dianna says. "Honey, remember that you wanted to save animals in Africa? Well, mama's foundation is about that, and mama is going to Africa tomorrow."

Iona smiles, she's proud and happy that her Mother was doing what they have both been talking for a long time. But there was something that keeps bothering her, something was off something was wrong. She ignores it and smiles even wider for Dianna

Dianna senses her hesitation. How couldn't she? When she knew her daughter like the back of her hand. She raised Iona even when her eyes would swell shut from his fist, and her heart would break from his words. The only reason she stayed, the only reason she breathes today was because of her little girl "Honey, what's wrong? Aren't you happy?"

Iona shakes her head "No, mama, I am happy. It's just that something is wrong" She could never lie to her mother, not that she wanted to. There wasn't a day that goes by that she doesn't tell her anything.

Dianna smiles and kisses her daughter's forehead. Trying to ease her girl's worry and also hers. "I understand, it is a bit worrying since...I'll be gone, and it'll take a while."

"How long is a while?"

Dianna purses her lips "A while."

"You don't know either, don't you?"

Sighing in defeat, she nods "but I'll write and send you pictures."

Iona smiles, happy and also sad. She really didn't know what to feel at this point. "Okay, Mom. I hope you have a safe trip."

Dianna grins her leather journal on her lap. Her eyes memorizing every part of her daughter's face. She didn't know how long she'll be gone, and she needed to make sure that she'll recognize Iona even if a year would pass. "I'll send you lots of letters, even every hour if I have to."

"I would love that, and could you also take a picture of a pride of lions for me?"

"Of course, honey, anything for you." Dianna places a small soft kiss on her forehead and smiles "Want me to tell you a story?"

Iona nods in great delight. Then Dianna begins to tell a story of her own past that feels like a lifetime ago, a history that her husband wants to keep away from her.

When it was close to getting dark, Dianna takes one more look at Iona. Both of their eyes filling with tears at the prospect of the goodbye that was going to ensue.

"I have to go now" Dianna whispers

Iona musters every fibre of her being to pull a smile from her face. Her hands gripping on the sheet of her bed in such a painful manner, she thinks her fingers would fall off. "Goodbye, Mom"

Her mother cups her cheek gently and lovingly, this was a goodbye they didn't know was their last. "You are so beautiful, I am so lucky to have such a strong and beautiful girl like you."

"Mom" Iona whines, she is flushed

"See you, Honey" she makes one long kiss on her forehead and left.

If only Iona knew that it was a final goodbye.

Iona had loads of pictures of lions, giraffes, hippos, and other animals in Africa. She is convinced that her Mom can steal any moment, any memory with just a click of her camera and freeze it forever.

Every letter that was sent to her, she would read them over ten times as Dianna explained everything that was happening over to her side of the world. Iona starts to love Africa from the things she tells her, she couldn't wait for the other letters to reach her.

After a week of her Mom regularly sending her letters, it suddenly stopped. Out of nowhere, not even an envelope of pictures or a single postcard was given to her. Nothing was sent.

Perplexed and worried, she asks her nurse, Nannie, that was always by her side over the years of staying in this hospital. "Nurse?"

Nannie looked at the wide, hopeful eyes of the child and gave her a small, sad smile "honey, haven't your father told you?"

"What?" She whispers, heart, dropping to her stomach. Something was wrong, the feeling that was bothering her when her mother was about to leave, came back.

Nannie looks away, she couldn't face Iona's eyes that was slowly filling with tears. "A lawyer will come here, and he's going to talk to you. He'll give you the answers that you need."

Iona feels lost at that time, she didn't know what to do. Something must have happened, why else would a lawyer be coming for her? On that night she didn't sleep, she didn't eat nor did she feel safe. She was restless and anxious and now scared as her Father, Smith, visited her. Today, of all days.

One look at Smith, you would know that he was once an attractive man. Thick blonde hair and the bluest eyes you could have ever seen, but the addiction has ridden his body, causing it to look like as if he was sucked out of everything.

A start quarterback with long arms and even longer legs, he could have had the world and got into NFL. But then the werewolves came and suddenly he was obsolete, he couldn't compete with those shapeshifting beings that have double the muscle size than him. He got rejected, and the man that Dianna fell in love with slowly slipped away.

He looks sober today, Iona remarks. She watches him through the corner of her eyes as he sits down on the stool beside her bed.

"your mother" he pauses to look at his daughter, she doesn't meet his gaze. Fear wracked her body with such intensity. "your mother is...dead."

She snaps her gaze to look at him, her heart was taken out of her chest. "No... No....you're lying! She-She was just here a week ago. You're lying!" her tears just trail down her pale cheeks and wouldn't stop.

She starts to move down her bed but was stopped by Smith as he holds her down. She struggles, wanting to run away and look for her mother. She knows her Mom would be back at their house, in the darkroom where she'll be hanging the photos of everything.

She manages to kick him and lash out the bed. The nurses came in after Smith pulls on the intercom, not wanting to deal with the little girl anymore. The door opens, and the nurses immediately saw a bleeding Iona, the cannula wasn't entirely out of her vein as it painfully dislodged on her muscle.

They grab her and pull her back to the bed, even taking out straps to bind her. A doctor, not her usual, comes from the side and tries to fix the cannula.

"Sedate her! Sedate her, now!" The doctor shouts.

Before it all goes black, she sobs, feeling a warmth in her body that she couldn't explain.

Arms. It felt like arms to her. She lets out a strangled cry at the thought that maybe it was her mother, and this was their goodbye.

A week later, the body of Dianna Blackfield came back from a flight from Kenya. Smith made sure that when her body arrived, it was ready to be buried, not wanting to spend any more money than he has to. Iona wasn't given a chance to see her Mom's face one last time not that she wanted to. She tried to remember Dianna on how she lived and the pictures of them together, not on how she died.

On her wheelchair, Iona counts the seconds as Dianna's body was lowered to the ground. No priest or anything presided over the dead, there were only witnesses of Iona's grief as she cried. Her Father is too high or stoned to care what was happening while he took another swig of his flask.

"It's your fault" Smith slurs, "Giving her those ideas."

Iona looks as if she was slapped. It dawned on her that he was right.

It's her fault

Present

"Iona, honey, here's your water" Farah broke Iona from her memories.

Iona flinches at Farah's voice but quickly regains her composure. She shouldn't cry at a time like this, she looks at Farah who has just entered and closed the door quietly behind her. "Oh, thanks."

Farah furrows her eyebrows in confusion, her improved eyesight catching on to the tears threatening to fall. "honey, what's wrong?"

Iona's heart suddenly skips a beat. Busted "Why? What's wrong?"

"You look like you want to cry," Farah says wiping the tears from Iona's cheek.

"I'm fine, just some memories came rushing back," she says while turning back to the mirror in front of her. Since when did she walk from the bed to the vanity? "so, let's go downstairs?"

Farah looks at her, suspiciously "Okay, honey."

Iona smiles, relieved Farah didn't press on too much.

When they got outside, everybody loved Iona's dress. The make-up Farah put on her gave her a healthier glow than the deathly pale one. The adults were cooing at her, giving her compliments and affection by the way Farah cups her cheek and Fredo's warm touch on her shoulder.

The only people who were aloof and strange were Keith and Jared. They have something different in their minds, they knew something was wrong back in the mall, and they wanted answers.

Jared keeps his eyes trained on Iona, and she could feel his piercing gaze on her skin. It made the hair on her neck stand up from it, she could feel his dominance and need for answers. It was worst when he chooses to walk behind her than beside her.

The brothers wore almost identical tuxes except for the fact that Keith took a red bow than a black one. He wanted to infuriate his mother, he was close to her in a way that these kinds of small teasing made Iona miss her Mom.

Farah is dressed in her dark and tight gown with sequins that made her twinkle under the lights. Her hair swept to one shoulder while her arm locked on Fredo's big ones. She sighs in delight while fixing her mate's tie.

It was apparent that Iona is nervous, the way she bit her lower lip and kept looking at the ceiling. With Keith on her arm, she tries not to dig her nails on his arm or ruin his suit.

"Relax, human" Keith chuckles "your heart can power the whole city."

Iona let out a nervous chuckle "Sorry."

"Don't apologize" Jared interjects behind them "No one in this family apologizes."

Iona nods, still not looking at him and still feeling his gaze. "Okay" she whispers

They made their way to the garage where a BMW M6 was laid out in front of them. Iona stares at it like it was made of solid gold, it might as well have known how expensive those kinds of cars are.

Being the Alpha of Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Kentucky, with those many lands the Alpha was able to acquire a certain amount of money. Most of his wealth was used for the pack, this is just merely excess that he spent on spoiling his family and close pack members.

Fredo is a good leader and a great one at that, he is reliable and the most dependable. Those are one of the reasons why Iona approached him first instead of the others that and another grave reason. She has always remembered him as the uncle that carried her on his shoulders and taught her on how she should live with as much grace as she can.

He was the one who was adamant about teaching her how to fight, how to move gracefully even when she was a clumsy human. He taught her that honour is everything.

His large hand opens the door for Farah, he gives her a cheeky grin to which Farah replies with a chaste kiss on his cheek while effortlessly sliding in her seat. Keith opens the door for Iona to climb in and she enters with her hands trembling. Jared stalks to the other side and brushed shoulders with the nervous Iona.

"You okay?" he asks, looking at Iona as if afraid that she'll pee herself any minute now.

"Yeah" she chuckles again.

Jared oversees her but kept his mouth shut while Father drove them to the restaurant.

It was the restaurant Crescendoswhere only elite members of a particular specie club can enter the premises. It was already a spoken rule that only werewolves were allowed to enter the restaurant, but tonight it seems Iona is an exception. The brotherhood of the Blackfield's are elites of the elites, being related to them, Iona has the unique privilege of being able to enter and dine inside its walls.

When a valet opened the door for them, Iona slides out of the car with eyes on her. They skipped the waiting line entirely, and everyone looks at the newcomer. Iona kept her eyes on Fredo's broad back and pretended to be blind. It's the only way for her not to get nervous at this point.

The lessons she remembers from Fredo's lessons were gone, at that moment. Her movements stiff and hard though she kept her head up, she can't move. Jared suddenly growls and locks her arms with Iona when he noticed three men from an enemy pack.

His back went stiff, his posture rigid while glaring at those men. Keith, for the first time, looks severe and blank while holding her tighter between the two.

"Just stay close to us" Jared whispers ", or people here will eat you alive."

Hope they like eating double dead meat."

Jared frowns while Keith lets out a small smile at the joke. "Yeah, don't worry, but that doesn't mean I am not asking for an explanation."

"Jared, we just touched hands when I was going to get a book in a bookstore. He cringed and left disgusted, so when you told me he hated humans, it made sense" Iona says, not that it was a lie since it was part of the truth.

Jared looks at her eyes while walking, and a few more seconds of staring he breaks it "Alright, good thing he didn't hurt you."

Iona smiles. If only they knew "like I would let him hurt me."

"That's our girl" Keith laughs, it came easy that he forgot they weren't in their territory. They were in neutral ground, which means a lot of rules and regulations are trying to keep it as neutral ground, but that doesn't mean he should let his guard down.

The three of them walks inside the fresh air of the expensive-looking building. The dying girl's eyes were wide when she went through the doors, her skin prickling at the cold air, but for now, it was ignored. She admires the gold chandelier on the ceiling above her, the thick rug under her sandals and the warm smiles of the hostess that greeted them. It looked so much like a grand ball in the 17thcentury, she didn't know how to act.

Iona had never seen such overhead lighting before so much so that she hasn't realized she was already seated on a large table. She was faced in front of her Uncle Ross, who gazed at her with a nostalgic smile.

Ross was known to be the softer spoken ones in the family during his younger years he is the one who took care of the spunky Dianna. He was the only one that can tame that wild girl, him and their mother.

Her mouth hangs open still, staring at awe at the paintings on the ceiling. The cherubs with their small bows, and men and women on clouds. She even hasn't noticed the dark-haired Ross with brown eyes admiring her.

Sarah smiles at her niece, her blonde strawberry curls pinned and tight while her icy blue eyes stare emotionlessly at the girl. Olive toned skin with slender arms and long legs, Sara is what they call a picturesque woman, and she knows it. She has always demanded the attention of anyone in the room, her beauty and intelligence made sure she caught everyone's eye and attention. A total contradiction to her husband; nonetheless, they called them the balancing of opposing forces.

"Iona" Ross whispers, star-struck. His lips quirk up into a friendly smile. "You look like your mom."

Iona blushes and bit her lower lip "Thank you, Uncle Ross, but I'm far from Mom."

"Oh no! You have a close resemblance, right Fredo?" Ross to pats Fredo's back with his slowly built arm. Fredo just smiles at the gesture

"Right," Fredo said, smiling and chuckling with Ross. "Dianna would be very proud to see you like this, little one."

Iona looks down at her expensive plates. I would like to hear that from her soon.

Michael, with his dirty blonde hair and a killer grin to match, was seated on her left. He remembers the odd-smelling girl beside her, he knew her, and his perfect memory would never let him forget. They were after all family. He took both of his parents beauty but thankfully didn't take Sarah's personality. He wasn't like his Father as well, he was too...bold.

The little boy that was sat across Iona, just between Ross and Sarah was Doram. The five-year-old child who has no memory with the dying girl at all. His eyes were blue that completely matches her mothers and hair as dark as night.

He glares at Iona to which made her look at the tiny boy in his blue suit. Iona likes kids, but she knows Doram is different, he seems and feels intelligent, probably due to his Alpha blood. She looks at his small straight nose that resembles her Uncle Ross'. She offers a smile to which he doesn't return.

Doram picks at his salad, deviating the animosity he gave out to her on to the leaf. "I understand that female genders in the family are rare, but to treat her like this is a bit too much."

Iona can't believe her ears. Did a five-year-old just say those great words? Are Alpha's that advanced compared to humans? Iona hesitates to speak, but then Jared whispers something in her ear.

"They don't know yet. Dad was unsure how, to tell the truth."

Iona chokes on her food but eventually swallows it with the help of the water beside her.

"you okay?"

"I'm fine" she croaks, her voice raspy.

"Doram is nice to your cousin we haven't seen her for ten years," Sarah says without any sincerity, whatsoever.

Doram clears his throat as if he was a walking adult "Yes, Mother" he looks wounded, the way he glances through the corner of his eyes at his cold mother. "Would you please excuse me" it was more of a statement than anything as he left the table.

Iona looks trouble, she just can't let this be. She never thought that Sarah would be like this with her son. "Uh, excuse me."

Michael grans her wrist, the firm hold and the warmth of his hand was imposing. "Cousin, let him be."

Iona shakes her head "No, I can't let this be. I'm going after him"

"Michael let her do what she wants," Ross says, his eyes glimmering at Iona. His heart delighted at the resemblance she has with Dianna. He wonders, where is Dianna? Is she still with that good for nothing husband of hers?

"But dad he'll—" Michael was cut off

"Michael let her go," Ross says, still calm. Michael finally let's go, and Iona went after Doram "she is just like Dianna."

"Too much" Farah whispers, pouting at the direction where her niece went away.

Fredo looks at his mate with a sad smile. He puts his hand over hers in comfort, sensing his mate's broken heart.

Iona runs after Doram who did not walk into the restroom but outside through the restaurant doors. A lake which was the ceremonial lake of the neutral grounds is disrupted by the rocks Doram skips through the water's surface. Iona can't help but feel for him, she felt like she knew what he was feeling. She slowly walked towards him, not wanting to spook him or run away from her.

"Go away," he says, throwing another rock.

Iona chuckles "I won't."

He pauses and looks at her "what do you want from me?"

"You want your mother's recognition. She shows no affection to you and a fleeting one with Michael" Iona carefully let the words out, she watches the emotions in his eyes, and she knew he was right.

"You love her, but she doesn't seem to love you back. She's distant, broken even and no matter how much you try to impress her or get her attention, you can't" Doram didn't move, didn't make a single sound as he takes her words in, all of it hitting the mark. "You hate me because she seems excited to meet me, and you saw something in her when she talked about me. Something you haven't seen in your whole life. "

"Shut up," he glares, his eyes was so intense Iona didn't know a child would be capable of such hard eyes. "Why are you here?"

"Don't you want the reason why she's like that Doram? I have the answers."

Iona caught his attention "What are you saying? Are you crazy?"

Iona opens her lips but hesitates again. She feels like one of those goldfish in the waiting room of her first oncology doctor. "I killed one of your brothers."

"What?" Doram glares harder, confused as to what this human was saying.

"We were just kids, your Mom was pregnant with her second child. She was on the top of the stairs, and we were running around, I was being chased. Then before we know it, I bump into her, and she drops down the stairs. I didn't go to Uncle Ross at first and was nervous that it almost killed me, and right now I think this disease in me is karma from what I did."

"What are you saying? Are you crazy?"

Iona hasn't realized it, but tears were already trailing down her cheeks "you're too young to understand."