One Summer of Lost and Found

CHAPTER 11

Crystal's POV

"Goodmorning, mommy and daddy!"

"Kamusta ang little business woman namin?" masayang salubong sa'kin ng mga magulang ko mula sa pagbaba ko sa hagdan. I went to our long table, grabbed a chair, and sat on it. 

"Ay, naks. Business woman po kaagad. Ayon po busy sa opening," I cheerfully answered. I woke up in the right side of the bed, eh. More like I am excited for our business. I have waited so long for this! "Medyo natatakot din po na mag-fail pero marami naman pong sumusuporta sa'min kaya sige lang," nakangiti ko pa ring sabi even if my food is stuffed with rice. 

"I know you and your best friend can pull this off," my father replied, smiling. They are so supportive! Parang nakakatakot tuloy mag-fail. They have invested a lot on us. "Do you want me to invite some of my business partners sa opening ng shop niyo?" he followed.

"I'd love to po!" I am like a child who has reached all of her dreams even if I'm just starting. 

I have the most supportive parents. Despite being 16 back then, they managed to let me cherish freedom and the privilege of a young adult. Pinayagan nila akong mag-jowa, mag-party pati na rin ang magtayo ng bakery business with my 12-year bff, Hailee.

Upon arriving at the school, nakita ko ang matalik kong kaibigan kasama ang boyfriend ko. "Yo!" masaya kong bati sa kanila. Pumagitna ako at umakbay sa kanilang dalawa. 

"Hoy, Crys girl, agahan mo bukas ng gising, ha! Mag-dedesign tayo ng shop!" Hailee told me. Nginitian ko siya. "Of course, I am always early kaya!"

"Since when?" natatawa niyang sabi. 

Hailee is my best friend since preschool. We have the same interests in everything kaya ayon, nagkasundo naman kami immediately. Unlike my cute-sized height and my fair skin, she has a model-like stature with her bronze skin and tall complexion. She also has sharp features that can be mistaken for a Latina. She has a beauty that complements my beauty kaya naman kilala kaming dalawa as the bff crush ng bayan. Weird flex but okay. I mean birds of the feather flock together.

"Why not later, babe?" suggest ko kay Hailee. "I have training sa gymnastics."

"Oh, right." Napalingon naman ako kay Jaden nang tinanggal ko na ang akbay sa kanilang dalawa ni Hailee. "Bakit siya tinatawag mong babe? Ako hindi?" my annoying boyfriend asked me. 

Afterward, he leaned closer and wrapped his hand around my waist. I was too surprised by what he did even though he's my 2-year boyfriend. He still gives me the same kind of butterflies, and I love it that way. He's tall, thin, humorous, and a gamer. I don't have an exact type sa lalaki pero kasi ang comfortable ko sa kaniya. Nagsimula sa mga asar na nauwi sa ganito. The typical hater-to-boy best friend to lovers type of relationship is what we had. 

"You're so baduy. I love your name more than any endearment. Shut up," I said in a sweet voice at hinawakan ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa baywang ko.

"Yikes! PDA!" Hailee playfully teased. A sudden idea came into my head, causing me to turn to Hailee. "What if mag-sleep over ka sa'min after your practice?" I told Hailee.

"Bet ko 'yan! I'm in." I can see excitement in her glowing face. "Sama ako," pang-eepal ni Jaden.

"Wala ka namang maaambag sa business namin kundi ingay mo," I said in return. "Fair enough," sagot niya sa'kin at nagkibit balikat. 

We, three, laughed. 

Not only that, I'm also blessed with the perfect set of friends. I have the best bestfriend and best boyfriend. Mabuti nga't nagkakasundo sila. Akala ko mag-aaway sila lagi dahil magkaibang magkaiba sila. They always support me in what they did. Lagi silang nandiyan sa tabi ko. 

Days have passed at mas naging busy kami ni Hailee. Inaayos namin ang supposed bakery namin. Matagal na naming pinaplanong magtayo ng bakery shop. Whenever kasi we do sleepovers kasama pa ang ibang girl friends namin, we would always try to bake. And it was so much fun. Creating minimalist cake has been my coping mechanism. It's very aesthetic for my i********: newsfeed! 

I have a perfect life.

Or do I?

Or the perfection I enjoyed is only the surface of a bigger lie?

I have a perfect life. I had a perfect life. 

Or so I thought...

The bell rang, signifying the end of our classes. Nilapitan ko si Hailee with a handbag at my left hand. "Let's go to a restaurant," aya ko. She pouted. "I'm sorry, girly. As much as I'd love to, may gymnastics practice ako. Hahabol ako, promise!" 

"No! It's okay! Don't feel guilty. Una na ako," sabi ko at tsaka pumunta sa direksyon ng boyfriend ko. "Hey, let's go na." Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. "I am sorry I have basketball practice or should I just not attend?" 

"No! No! It's fine. Attend na. I'll go with Atasha and Jaya na lang," I said. "You sure?" sabi naman ni Hailee. They are always treating me like a baby porket ako ang pinakamaliit. "Yes! B*tch, go to your practice na. Love you."

I waved at them at pumunta sa direksyon nina Atasha. "Hey Atasha, sama ako." Nilingon nila ako ni Jaya. "Sure pero dadaan muna kami sa old gym kasi magpapa-xerox kami."

"Oh, sure," sabi ko. Tinahak namin ang daan patungong old gym. Whenever I am not with Hailee at Jaden, sina Atasha at Jaya ang kasama ko. Umupo kami ni Atasha sa labas ng xerox-an habang hinihintay si Jaya. 

Nagkuwekuwentuhan lang kami tungkol sa schoolworks at iba pang bagay when suddenly Lia, a senior who I am close with, approached us. "Hi, ate Lia!" 

"Atasha." Her tone was serious. Ate was the leader material so her tone was not new to me, but there is something in how she says it that bothers me. "Did you tell her?"

"Ako ba? Tell me what?"

"Ate.." Lia was staring directly at Atasha. "She has the right! Pati malay mo ay ma-confirm niya!" 

"Hey, Crystal. We need to tell you something pero please huwag mong sabihing ako ang nagsabi nito. Hindi pa kasi ako sigurado! Napulot ko lang 'to sa iba pero feeling ko may right kang malaman 'to," Atasha whispered. "Ano ba 'yan? Kinakabahan ako. Why do you need to build up the tension."

Without hesitation, they both looked at my eyes, delivering news I never expected. "Your boyfriend is cheating on you with your bestfriend. Nakita kahapon ng tropahan nina Ali at ate Lia na magkasama sila kahapon after practice ni Jaden." 

"Oh kasi magkatabi lang naman ang practice ng gymnastics at basketball so I think that's the most c-convenient thing t-to do." I tried my best to deliver my message in a confident tone because there is no way they could do that pero nananaig ang posibilidad na paano nga kung ginawa nila ito? Ate and Atasha's eyes were still on me. 

I have known them both for so long! If gagawin man nila 'to, ginawa na nila 'to dati! Maybe, ma-issue lang ang mga tao sa basketball team pati ang mga senior. Alam mo naman sila...

"And Hailee is not part of the gymnastics team anymore," sabi ni Atasha. "Sabi 'yon ng senior natin na parang leader nila ganoon, 'yung laging kasama ni Ate Lia."

"N-no. I-I think you are mistaken. Prank ba 'yan? If i-it is then stop it n-na." It was evident in my voice na I was shaking. "Call them and see for yourself."

"No!" They were both looking at me with great concern. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko! But it was as if my impulses made me do it. I dialed Hailee's number habang pinapanood ako ni Atasha. Halatang naaawa siya sa akin. 

Ramdam na ramdam ang kaba sa mga kamay ko habang ringing ang telepono ko. Atasha and I were attentively watching the phone. I do not usually shake. I am often confident pero ngayon hindi ko na alam. I am confident na they are true to me! Ngunit parang may nasa loob kong nagsasabing kailangan ko na makita ang katotohanan. 

Bakit hindi niya pa rin sinasagot?

I was about to panic more when she finally answered it. "Hello? Girl, I am in a middle of something. Wait muna," narinig kong sambit ni Hailee mula sa kabilang linya.

"W-where are you right now?" tanong ko. I tried my best not to tremble. Hawak hawak naman ni Atasha at Ate Lia ang kamay ko para tumulong doon. "I am at our practice nga, 'di ba? Miss me agad?" She even laughed on the other line. 

"D-do you want me to pick you up?" I asked. "No. Don't sweat! Okay na ako. Love you." I was about to say something, but she ended the line. "Guys, wala naman atang.."

I was about to defend them more when Ate Lia's best friend Wena, the president of the gymnastics, came in front of us. Around this time, marami na biglang mga athlete ang nagpunta sa old gym. Ate Lia looked at me na para bang ipinapahiwatig niya na kailangan kong panoorin ang gagawin niya.

"Wena, tapos na ba ang practice niyo?" she asked her. "Ha? 'Teh, kasasabi ko lang sa'yo kanina, early kami natapos. Wala si Ma'am, eh. So bali umikot lang kami sa gym." 

That time, everything stopped. Hindi ko na alam ang ginagawa ko. Bigla na lang tumayo nang sarili ang mga paa ko at nagsimulang tumakbo. "Crystal!" Hinabol ako nina ate Lia at Atasha. "Crystal! Sandali!"

Hindi ako nagpatinag sa mga tawag nila dahil sa oras na 'yon, wala nang nasa isip ko. Hindi ko na ma-control ang lahat. Nalulungkot ako.. nagagalit ako.. naiinis.. I can't even recognize it!

It's a spectrum of feelings that I did not want to experience. Halo halo silang bumabagabag sa utak ko that their presence as a whole felt ambiguous. 

As I stormed the other gymnasium where athletes were supposed to practice, nakita ko na ang kinakatakutan ko.

I saw my best friend wrapped around the arms of my boyfriend. It was not just a hug because his hands were on her face.

Hindi ako shunga para pagtakpan pa ang nangyari!

"Crystal!" Dahil sa malakas na tawag ng mga kasama ko kanina, napalingon ang lahat sa akin. Halata ang gulat sa pagmumuka nilang mga taksil sila. Ano bang ginawa ko sa kanila para gawin nila 'yon sa akin?!

As I said, hindi ko na makontrol ang sarili ko. I stormed between them. I slapped the face of my boyfriend. Pagkatapos noon ay walang pagdadalawang-isip kong sinampal ang kaibigan ko. 

I cannot find the word to say. Gusto kong sumigaw. Magalit. Sisihin sila. Murahin. But right now, the words bottled up so bad that they refused to go out of my mouth. The words I have prepared as sharp as they were supposed to cannot be relinquished. At that time, my eyes were the only ones who spoke for my feelings. Galit ako pero ang mga ito ay naging luha na lamang. 

Everyone was looking at us. Nahihilo ako. Nagdidilim ang paningin ko. Hindi ko napansing hinila na ako nina Atasha palayo mula sa kanila. 

Morning came and I was too lazy to go to school. We were the talk of the university. And you know what? May mga nam-bash pa sa akin. What on earth?!

Ako ang naagrabyado ngunit ako pa ba ang dapat magdusa?! They were saying stuff on the internet na highschool pa lang daw naman kami at bakit may ganoon nang eksena. Ang OA ko raw dahil sa nangyari. Hindi raw ako dapat nagpadalos dalos.

For goodness sake, would you still think with that amount of anger?

Maaring oo pero ako.. bata pa lang din naman ako. Hindi ko kaya. 

All my life I have been treated well and now I do not know how to get back at my momentum. Everything has fallen apart.

Days have passed, and I ended up skipping two school days. OA man pakinggan pero I do not know how to show my face to them.

"Hey, anak, belated happy birthday." Her voice was really soft, but from what she said, a tear ran down my face. "We bought you a cake."

"Anak, are you still sick?" I told my family I am sick, which became true dahil nilagnat ako sa pangalawang araw na lumiban ako. But currently, I am no longer sick ngunit ayaw ko pa rin pumasok. Ayaw ko silang makita. Just seeing them makes my blood boil! 

"You can tell us everything," sabi ng nanay kong kumakatok sa pintuan ko. Hindi ako nalabas ng kwarto ko. Maybe, I should face them once more. I do not know! My mind is in a mess right now. Hindi ako umiyak ngayong araw, but everything felt empty and draining. I gathered all the motivation I could find para bumangon at buksan ang pinto. My mother was surprised with what I did, and she was painted with relief. "Papasok na p-po a-ako bukas." 

I can not just sulk dahil ako ang talo kung ganoon! Hindi puwedeng ako na ang naapektuhan ay ako pa ang talo! I am not Crystal for nothing! 

Pumasok ako sa school with our uniform and a light make-up. Everyone I know was looking at me. I do not want to look at them dahil alam kong wala akong makikita kundi awa. I do not need pity. The cruelty inside me wants them to suffer.

What's worse is ka-block ko silang dalawa. When I entered the classroom, all eyes were on me again. And at my peripheral view, I saw the two. They were sitting near each other! Hindi man lang sila natinag sa pagdating ko. The audacity?!

I looked at them. Mukhang biglang natakot si Hailee. Nilapitan ako ni Atasha. "Girl." Her voice was full of sympathy at para bang inaawat ako nito. "I won't do anything to them."

But I want to! I want to bury them. I want to punch, slap and make them beg for me. I want them to suffer so bad! 

Buong araw, galit lang ang naghari sa utak ko. What annoys me the most is that they are not suffering right now! They should be ostracized dahil sobra ang ginawa nila sa akin pero bakit hindi? Alam kong masama ang pag-iisip ng masama sa ibang tao pero.. if I suffered, why shouldn't they? It's like I can't hear something bad about them. Are people enabling the cheating? Why? At bakit ako pa ang naagrabyado?!

It worsened when I received a text from my mother. 

From: Mom Suki's POV

Right after we found Crystal, dinala namin siya pabalik sa tent. We waited for her to calm down, and she started sharing her story.

And I.. I found the story near familiar.

Trust is something huge and difficult to build. It's so fragile that one tip can destroy it until the damage is irreversible. Betrayal is one of the main reasons for its destruction. It hurts a lot since betrayal will never come from your enemy, but from a friend. It hit hardest with her since it came from her closest friends. 

"I-I am starting to fix my issues na naman. No need to pity me or something.." nahihiya niyang sabi. As a person with high pride, I really appreciate what she did.

"After what we heard, we won't treat you any differently," sabi ni Kyron at um-agree naman si Theo.

"Oo, g*g*hin ka pa rin namin," Vin said in a friendly way. He must mean na aasarin pa rin namin siya, and we won't treat her as something fragile because as much as she is fragile with her experiences, she still deserves to grow out of her pain.

I held her hand. "We will never break your trust. Thank you for sharing this." 

"Shut up. 'D-di b-bagay sa'yo." I just laughed at her. She is not the best at hiding her feelings. 

Naglabasa naman ng beer si Vin. "Tara? Sulitin na natin 'tong gabi."

"Cheers!"

Hindi sila ganoon kalakas dahil tulog na naman kaagad sila at kami na naman ni Kyron ang natira. Ipinasok namin sila sa mga tent. I was about to sleep, but I chose to sit outside.

I stared at the dawn. Para kaming nag-all nighter. I sit at the log situated near our tents to witness how the burning ball of brightness replaces the night sky. The colors in darker shades start to brighten little by little, carrying a warmer breeze. 

"Grabe, nakaabot tayo sunrise," sabi ng tumabi sa'kin. "Yeah."

"Do you trust me?" tanong niya out of nowhere. 

"I guess I would not be here if I don't," I said truthfully. 

"Even if.." he paused. 

"If?"

"Wala."

"Ang daya! Parang hindi tayo magkaibigan!" I said like a kid. Pero nakita ko namang tahimik lang siya. Na-guilty tuloy ako sa pamimilit. "I have trust issues too," I said spontaneously.

Napatingin siya sa akin. I just smiled. "Well, dapat nga hindi ako magalit sa kanila dahil may kasalanan din naman ako pero.."

"What happened?" tanong niya. He was listening to each of my words intently. 

"Well, sabihin na lang natin na. May sinaktan kami ngunit ako lang ang umako ng lahat. Iniwan nila ako sa ere. Actually, my trust issue may be my karma or something. Hindi ko dapat sila sisihin.." Hindi ko na ma-control ang sinasabi ko. 

"I want to know about that. Is it fine?" he asked.

"Yes, but not now."

"Take your time," sabi niya sabay gulo ng buhok ko. Ngumiti rin siya sa akin. "Tulog ka na."

"I will."

I have trust issues, but a guy, who I know nothing about, was one of the people who broke the wall I built to protect myself.

Am I doing the right thing?