Jane Doe - Dead or Alive

Chapter 6 - Skylar Sinclair

Jane’s POV

I woke groggily, I didn’t want to leave the warm plush bed. It was like sleeping on a cloud.   

I got dressed and made my way downstairs, Libby was waiting for me.

We had breakfast together and it was soon time for her to go to school

‘Jane, I am going to miss you, take care and stay in touch’ we said our goodbyes and she left for school.

‘Jane, are you ready?’

I nodded; we were going to a Café not far from here to meet Maria. I didn’t need long to get ready. All I had was the clothes on my back, and they were given to me. Everything else had been left at the hospital. There were no possessions left of my former life.

We made our way to the car. He handed me a black duffle bag with white and lilac flowers on it.

‘Just a few things to get you started’ he said full of warmth.

‘Ok. James…’

‘You don’t need to say anything more Jane’

He pulled into a side street, and we walked in silence together to the café. We entered the Café with and there she was, Maria, the kind lady who was willing to drop everything on a whim to help me.

The kindness I was being shown, was unfamiliar to me, and I was wary. But I was so ready to move on and change my life I had to believe these people were good, I had to try.

‘Maria!’ James said with familiarity.

She stood and looked at us with warmth and worry.

‘James, Jane’

We sat and the waitress bought us over a coffee.

James and Maria spoke as old friends did. They were world apart from one another, the smart, clean-cut businessman and the homely, warm mother hen.

When we had finished our coffee, James said his farewells and Maria and I made our way to her car. I let go of my fear and allowed myself to trust this woman.

It felt like we had been driving for hours. I fell asleep.

‘Jane’ a gentle voice woke me up ‘We are here’

‘What time is it? Where are we?’

‘It’s lunch time and we are at my home’

‘Jeez, you really do live miles away from the city!’

She laughed ‘Come on, let’s get something to eat, then we can talk properly’

The house was red brick end terrace. It was warm and cosy. Downstairs was a small kitchen diner and lounge area, and upstairs were two bedrooms and a bathroom.

She busied herself making lunch ‘Will your family mind me being here?’

‘My husband passed away many years ago, I never met anyone else. My daughter, she left for Uni a couple of years ago, she’s a year or so older than you, and is closer to where her boyfriend is from, so tends to stay with his mum more than me, so she is rarely here’

‘Oh, does it make you sad, not being near her’

‘No, she is happy, and making her own way in life, we talk on the phone as much as we can’ she smiled softly, but I got the impression she was a little sad ‘You will be staying in her room. I have cleared it out’

‘You didn’t need to do that. Is she mad?’

‘No, not at all, I think she is grateful for the excuse not to come back so often, now she has nowhere to sleep. I know she loves me, but she has her own life now, and it’s far away from here’

‘Oh, I’m sorry’

‘Don’t be. I am glad she is making her way in the world. And now I have some company’ She smiled.

‘Yes, yes you do’ I was warming to the idea of being here with Maria.

I don’t know why I trusted this woman. But I did.

‘Now, Jane, we need to go into town tomorrow and get you some new clothes, I think James said he gave you a little money for you to go shopping’

‘He has been so kind’

‘Ah, yes, but don’t tell everyone!’ she chuckled ‘he is not as tough as they say, but it is an image he likes to keep’

I could imagine him being that way. I opened the bag that he gave me, and in it were several things. First, I pulled out a copy of my birth certificate. I have no idea how he got it so fast!

‘it’s up to you Jane, but James advised under your circumstances you may want to change your name? I mean, I hope you don’t mind, he didn’t tell me much, just that you brothers may be looking for you?’

‘I doubt they are really, not now, but if ever they did find me, it wouldn’t be good. I hate my name anyway. It reminds me of my past. Let’s change it’

She smiled ‘We can do it in town when we go tomorrow, if you can think of a name you like?’

‘So many stupid names spring to mind’ I couldn’t help but laugh at my own childish thoughts, and Maria laughed along with me as we joked about various names I could choose ‘But seriously, I like Skylar, it’s sounds free, kind of how I feel now’

‘I like it. Skylar it is. Surname?’

‘Pah, I dunno, what do you think?’

‘Sinclair’ she beamed ‘Skylar Sinclair, it has a nice ring to it don’t you think?’

‘Yes, it does’ I grinned ‘I had better start getting used to it’

‘Once we have your Deed poll and your name changed, we can set up things like a bank account, and proper forms of ID etc. James has given me everything additional I need for that’

‘Thanks’

‘So, what else is in there?’

‘An appointment card, for a therapist’

‘Ah, yes, he asked me for the name of one relatively local to here, that was good, he must have booked you in’

‘Yeah, he asked if I wanted to go. But how am I going to pay for it? I don’t have a job yet!’

‘If I know James, he wouldn’t have booked you in without paying for it first’

‘He’s done so much already’

‘Therapy, Skylar, is the biggest and most important step you can take. He would never skimp on it’

I smiled at her calling me by my new name, knowing the sooner I get used to it the better.

‘Okay, I guess I will have to thank him again later’

We went through the rest of the things in the bag, there were a few things of Miranda’s I am assuming, a handbag, purse, a little bit of money but sat snug in the back of the bag was something hard.

I pulled it out and it was a compact laptop.

‘Oh My God!’

Maria grinned ‘Well, that will come in handy!’

‘s**t’ I put my hand over my mouth ‘Sorry Maria’

‘Don’t be dear, I’ve heard worse, what is it?’

‘There is a bloody phone in here as well!’

‘Looks like you are set then’ she smiled warmly.

I don’t know why, but when I looked at the woman before me, her kind face, grey eyes and mild wrinkles, and ever so slightly greying hair, I just knew I would be okay.

We chatted, mainly about Maria to start with, but I found myself opening up to her about a few smaller things that had happened to me in my past. I didn’t tell her everything to start with.

But eventually, over the coming months, Maria would know everything there was to know about me. She would become the mother I never had. A lifelong friend.

After talking for some time, I suddenly realised how exhausted I felt. It was still quite early, but we had a busy day ahead of us tomorrow, so I excused myself and went upstairs to my new room.

My room. In a house. With a bed. It was so unbelievably surreal.

It didn’t take me long to fall asleep. Darkness consumed my eyes, as I curled into a ball and drifted into a dreamless sleep. Even at James’s I woke several times, but here, I didn’t wake up once.

When I woke, I was a little disorientated. It took me a few minutes to figure out where I was. As everything slowly started coming back to me, I stretched and smiled wide, knowing today would be a good day.

I had never once in my life had that feeling, and it made me giddy with excitement.

Before long, Maria and I were clothes shopping, room shopping, and I even got my first piercing. It was the first of many, something I would later treat myself to when I started to earn my own money, along with my tattoos, which was always something I had wanted, but done properly.

By the time we got home (it was still felt strange to say that) we had bought me a whole new wardrobe, my deed poll had been signed and sent off and I had a few small items to make my room my own.

With my laptop in hand, it was time to see what jobs were out there. I was ready to get to work!

As I trawled the internet looking for jobs it became abundantly clear I was never going to get anything without either being able to drive, and, or getting some qualifications.

I would have finished high school with relatively decent grades, had I completed school. I was by no means stupid but trying to convey that in a CV where I have nothing to write, like, literally nothing, was an impossibility.

I was desperate to make something better of my life, but I felt like everywhere I turned was a dead end, it was humiliating and soul destroying. I was so frustrated.

I screamed into my pillow as the tears threatened to leave my eyes. I was not going to cry!

There was a knock on the door ‘Skylar, sweetheart, can I come in?’

‘I’m fine’ I croaked out.

‘I’m pretty sure I asked if I could come in’ I could almost see her smiling.

‘Fine. Come in’

‘Don’t give up, something will come up’

‘Like what?’ I snapped, wondering how she knew why I was mad.

‘Something always does. Have faith. Come on, let’s go and get some fresh air’

Maria and I had been around the village a few times since I had arrived, to familiarise myself with it. It was a quaint little place, with a small-town square, a few local shops (no more than 4!) and a community centre.

They called the community centre the Rec (as in recreational – for activities and community gatherings) was just on the outskirts of the village, but the place looked derelict. Surely no one used it anymore.

As we walked past, I saw a couple of kids walk in. It looked rough compared to the rest of the village.

That was the first and last time I ventured past the place in the following few years. I busied myself going back to school, gaining some qualifications, learnt how to drive, and started work on the sleave of tattoos that proudly adorned my right arm.

I had also dyed my long dark hair all bright colours and had a few more piercing as I started to feel comfortable in my body, knowing what I wanted.

My tall lean body had filled out a little, I had boobs for the first time in years and I was beginning to feel god in my own skin.

James was right, the therapy that he paid for had done wonders and now 3 years later, I genuinely felt like I different person.

I always accepted and acknowledged my past, but it wasn’t who I was, nor was I going to allow it to hold me back.

In college, I became more versed in socialising and eventually, I got a part time job in the college café. It was great for my self-esteem and confidence.

I used all my spare cash to try new and exciting things. Surfing was by far my favourite thing. And these days, I did it as much as I could.

It had been a little over three years since I arrived here with Maria.

I was a far cry from the girl who regularly thought it would be better to be dead.

I had changed. I was Free. I was alive and happy to be so.

I was no longer Jane Doe.

I was Skylar Sinclair.