Game of Passion

Chapter 10: Farewell

“You are spacing out again.”

She inhaled sharply before looking down at Adam who had his attention on her ever since they went to the garden. He could already walk on his own but she has told him that she would accompany him and she is not one to break her word. Besides, she cannot just abandon her patients and not know where they are currently at. She is confident the others are on their beds. It was only Adam who is now improving fast through the days but does not want to show that he is already well. Meanwhile, the others—the ones who were admitted at the same time as him and even those ahead—are recovered and are now out of the hospital. His stay in the hospital has been too long that it will certainly be known by the higher-ups. Even if Adam convinces himself and her that he is still not well, they will have nothing to do about it since the superiors decide who stays and who leaves.

“I am just thinking,” she replied and fixed her skirt.

They are sitting by a bench while other nurses and patients roam around them. The garden was a sight new to their eyes since the city is still on the rise after the war. It is donated by someone anonymous and it is one of those places who at least gives life to the already distressing sight around them. Whenever she looks out the window, it was the destruction that still greets her. The progress was tedious but it is better than nothing, still stuck on the horrors of the war.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She breathed deep and smiled at him. “I don’t think my problems would entertain you. Besides, I do not want to add more distress to my patient.”

“Then you would rather keep it to yourself?” he asked. “Sharing could at least lessen the pain if there is any.”

Remembering what just happened last night, she doesn’t think it is something applicable to share with Adam. Besides, he might have known about her being an amnesiac but that does not mean they are friends. A boundary should always be acknowledged—something she failed to do when it comes to Doctor Harrington.

She still cannot imagine that has happened last night. It was seriously appalling and downright sinful but she has managed to control herself and fled before things escalate even more—something she applauds herself for being stronger than she thinks she is.

“I’m good,” she just said. "I'll be good."

Adam stared at her longer though and even if she wants to assure him that she was alright, her face doesn't seem to cooperate. Her tears were forming in her eyes and she tried so hard not to let them fall but when Adam grabbed her and pulled her close to him, a sob escaped and the tears spilled like waterfalls.

“Do not keep it to yourself please,” he said, soothing her with his low voice.

As much as possible, she does not want to show any weakness to others. She is already a pain and if she let them see her like this, it would add more burden. She is already such a weight to carry that she chose to keep everything to herself—her pain, her struggles, and her problems.

"I'm sorry," she said after a minute and was about to pull away but Adam's arm was firm on her.

"Just let it out."

She bit her lip and weakened against him again, feeling everything dawning at her since it has all piled on her—the war, her memories, and now, Flynn.

How could she ever face him now after what had happened?

Even if he did not know it was her, it will still haunt her that she has taken advantage of him and just willingly accepted him when she knew he is already committed and mayhap her as well. She is disgusted with herself, never expecting that she will get to a point like that.

She pulled away when her tears dried off and her sobs lessened. She looked around her, only becoming aware of her surroundings. Good thing that they are far from the crowd and that the others are minding their own business, used to seeing people crying ever since the war.

Looking back, she had never really cried that hard for a long time. She only did when the things she had on when she got unconscious were returned to her. Doctor Harrington was skeptical about it before, thinking that she may get triggered since she has just woken up at that time. But she was adamant, she did not have a single bite of food just to prove a point—that was how stubborn she is to know something other than her name. Therefore, they gave back her things which are stored in a box labeled with a name: Freira Hart.

"Is this my full name?" she asked Doctor Harrington that time.

He had a straight face while he slowly nodded at her. "We have seen the name on one of your possessions."

Inside was a gown with burned and torn parts—completely unusable, a single shoe, and a necklace. The last one was the thing that had her crying—grieving for something she did not know what but her heart was clenching just by seeing it. There, she had seen the engraved name Freira Hart on the thick round pendant.

And now, as she cries, she holds on to it tightly, getting strength from it. She leaned on the chair and exhaled heavily, wiping her tears away, only to stop midway when she saw Doctor Harrington not far away and looking at her with a frown on his face.

Why is he there? Does he already know?

But it is impossible. He could never realize that it was her who he has been with.

She felt like shrinking when Flynn started to approach them, thinking she has no escaping this. She knew she will have to face this problem but she was not expecting it to be this soon. With his spectacles on and his white coat as he holds a clipboard in one hand, Flynn kept his eyes on her as he walks.

Adam noticed her expression, the reason for him to look at what she is watching as well. The man was confused but did not say anything.

Finally, Doctor Harrington reached them, stopping a few meters away then glanced at Adam. They stared long and while Adam shows confusion, Flynn shows indifference. The doctor then opened his clipboard and asked, "You're Lieutenant Adam Castellano?"

She swallowed hard, still staring at Flynn's unexpected presence and his silent authority that demands every attention. He looks always clean and now that he is close, she can smell the same scent when she entered his room last night.

Flynn glanced at her before answering, "I am, Doctor..."

"Doctor Harrington," Flynn then raised his hand for a shake. "Pleased to meet you."

She watched them silently. She was expecting Flynn to approach them because he wants to talk to her but it seemed that the man beside her is the one he wants to talk with.

"Lieutenant, it has come to our attention that your records have been all stable and that you are fit to be released soon."

Adam's mouth parted then glanced at her. "I..."

"The processing will only take a few days. Your family will be notified, of course, as well as your superiors."

"Do I have any say in this?" Adam asked.

"I am afraid there is none unless our findings are incorrect which means Nurse Freira, here, would be completely at fault since she is the one in charge of you."

"No, no," Adam immediately countered. "She had been nothing but nice."

Flynn glanced at her. She just wished her crying was not obvious from her face. The man then nodded then closed the clipboard. "It is settled then. We will get back to you when the process had been done. Good day, Lieutenant."

"And to you too, Doctor," Adam said lowly.

Before going, Flynn faced her and then unexpectedly spoke to her directly. "We will not have any session next week. My schedule will be hectic since I have to go to the battlefield to tend to the others wounded and had not been yet transported here. Would that be alright?"

Slowly, she nodded.

"I'll notify you when we will meet again."

Her mouth parted but did not say anything. Flynn took that as his cue to leave. She watched his retreating back and only realized now why he has to be the one to inform Adam when he has never checked on the man before. Besides, he could just order any nurse to relay the news and show the papers, instead of going to them personally.

"It seems that I won't be here for long," Adam said, forcing a smile on his face.

Indeed, he won't because after a few days of that encounter, he had his papers all ready and his possessions were returned to him. Dressed in civilian clothes, She was watching him as he takes his uniform in a bag provided by the hospital. He had refused her help, purposely making it slower as if the decision will change. Realizing that it will not, he then carried the bag in his good arm.

That is when he looked at her. "I would try my best to visit."

She shook her head immediately. "You don't have to."

"I insist."

"But I cannot entertain you, I still have work to do."

"Even in your free time?"

"You should allot your time on things that are valuable, Adam. When you face the world outside this institution, your mindset will certainly change. It is survival out there."

"I know that," he said. "I have experienced much of that on the battlefield."

She looked down at her, regretting she has said those words. He does have more experience outside than her and she is not one to give advice to him.

"I shouldn't be forward but I still want to ask," he said. "Do you want to come with me?" It caught her off guard. "I have seen your longing to go out. I can take care of you, Freira. I may be losing a limb but I am still capable. I know I can make you happy."

She backed down from him in astonishment. "I do not know why you even want me to go with you, Adam."

"Is it still not obvious, Freira? I like you."

She bit her lip, wanting to convince herself that she had heard wrong. She does not want to reject someone especially when she herself has been rejected, not coming from Flynn's word himself but from the mere fact that they have significant others is enough rejection for the feelings she has for him.

Adam swallowed hard and looked down but he did not immediately accept it, asking her the dreaded question, "Is there anyone you fancy?"

Not lying to herself or to him, she answered with a nod. There is someone—her memories say there is.

Adam walked towards her and unexpectedly pulled her in for a hug. She did not push him away since it could be the last time that they will see each other and besides, they did have a peaceful time with each other. She was comfortable with him and he was the one who helped her remember at least a bit from her past.

"I will see you soon, Nurse Freira," he whispered, tightening his embrace.

"Farewell, Adam."