Game of Passion

Chapter 6: Decision

The world is changing.

It is inevitable especially when the war has ended. The ways of men shall be different. She knows it. Common practices will be forgotten and certain proprieties shall be set aside in order for them to survive. Their minds will be more mature—mayhap thinking of living in the present to the fullest since the future is still not as promising as they may dream it would be.

Everything around her shifts while she stays where she is—still with no progress, still struggling to remember something. She wants so badly to get out of the same process she does every day— where her every action revolves around other people when she, herself has her own problem to deal with. Feeling lost is already a given, she is also grieving for the memories she may never retrieve forever.

It was the same thing she is feeling now, engulfing her system as she stood in the middle of the hallway with her hands holding the clipboards of her patients, tight and close to her chest. Meanwhile, people are passing by—looking at her curiously but never approaching her to ask what is wrong. Her mind was blank and her eyes stared straight into the hall, seeing everything but not exactly processing it.

Will she stay like this forever? Always hoping for something but she's not doing anything to achieve it. What Hyacinth said to her a week ago was right. She mayhap needs to be out there—facing the world, and not relish the comfort the hospital has given her. It has been more than a year now that she remained here. Mayhap it is high time that she finally faces the real world.

It was when she heard someone call her name and a light touch on her shoulder did she come back to reality. Her head snapped to her right and a pair of green eyes are what she has seen. At first, she was taken aback—thinking it was the man in her memories—but upon her vision cleared, she was disappointed though she did not show it.

"You shouldn't be walking around, Adam," she said and immediately grabbed his good arm so she would support him back to his cubicle. "Why did you even get out of bed? I was just about to go to you."

The man cleared his throat before saying, "I was bored."

She shook her head in response but did not say anything more. They went to his cubicle and she attended to him first since she was already there. His arm is healing fast and he could stand on his own after two weeks of his stay. It won't be long before he gets to leave the hospital and she'll be assigned to another patient. It has always been that way and she is used to it.

"You're recovering fast," she commented, smiling.

"Hmm," he only answered then looked down at the new gauze she has put on his left arm. "Why were you standing there a while ago?" he brought up unexpectedly and she had to occupy herself with taking back her things on her kit, trying to think of something to answer.

In the end, she only said, "I just spaced out, that's all."

"Did you remember anything?" he asked.

She had been attending him for more than a week and since he already knew about her condition, she doesn't see any point as to deny it and avoiding the conversations regarding it. Besides, Adam is nice to talk to. He only listens to her first and then shares whatever he has in mind after. He was rude at first but she managed to get accustomed to his manners over time. She doesn't want to think that they are forming a friendship since it will only make her feel pity for herself since he is going to leave in the end anyway.

"None, still nothing."

When she looked up at him, he was already looking at her. She still reels back whenever she stares him eye to eye, feeling something amiss whenever she looks at those orbs.

She has asked him once if he knew her before the war and she was disappointed to hear that he did not. After twice her attack by the cause him, there is none that followed which means there is no new memory to hold on to. She has given up on the idea that he could help her retrieve her memories overall.

"I think you'll be out of the hospital soon," she voiced out. "I'll tell the doctors of your improvements so you could be checked for release—"

"No," he cut her off. "Don't do that yet."

She frowned, not expecting his disapproval upon the matter. "But they'll eventually find out. The sooner I tell them about your condition, the faster you could get out of the hospital. Don't you want to see your family already?"

He looked away and passed his fingers on his brown hair out of frustration. "Just don't do it," he snapped and she pressed her lips tight, knowing that she has triggered him again.

She would have thought that he had some anger management issues since small things make him get mad to the core, the reason for the other nurses handled him poorly before. It was only with her did he gets to calm down a bit because he knew that she carries a delicate condition as well.

"If that is what you want," she said then gathered her things. "I'll come back to check on you later."

Then walked out of the cubicle and closed the curtain as she goes, hearing him breathe out heavily. She went on with work to her other patients before she gets a few rests on a bench while she drinks a glass of water. Nancy saw her there and immediately went to sit with her.

"Are you alright? Do you feel tired? I can always fill your work in if you want to take some rest," the woman said and she smiled widely, grateful for her kindness.

"I'm fine, Nancy. You don't have to worry too much."

The woman leaned on the bench and then crossed her arms. "Have you seen Doctor Harrington this week?"

"No, I was scheduled this afternoon."

"Good." The woman exhaled then glanced at her with imploring eyes.

She giggled, not used to that look coming from Nancy. "What is it?"

"Doctor Harrington had been in an awfully bad mood lately."

"So?"

"You know Franco, right?"

She smiled. "Of course, I do. The man you have been seeing—"

"Shhh. You don't have to say it out loud. I don't want our relationship to be known by all. I want it privately so I could keep him to myself."

She rolled her eyes, not expecting this kind of secrecy from the woman. Nancy is a people person that's why it is unlike her to keep something important to others.

"What about him then?" she whispered.

Nancy moved closer to her. "I wonder if you could talk out to Doctor Harrington about some days off for Franco."

"He's not the one in charge of that."

"But he's Franco's superior. Surely, he could do something. We never had time together for a month already, always sneaking in with just haste kisses and longing touches."

"You don't have to share that," she said, laughing.

"You would help me, right? Oh, please, Freira, please."

"Alright, alright."

This, she could do since Nancy is her only friend and what she's asking is not difficult. Unlike Hyacinth's request which until now, she did not give any answer yet.

She went to the second floor after she was done with her work. She was on her way to Doctor Harrington's office when she caught sight of Hyacinth going out of a cubicle. The woman saw her and expectantly gazed at her but she looked away and continued walking.

Hyacinth is a fortunate woman to have a powerful man behind her back who will support her every whim. Other than that, she is beautiful, the reason why she does not understand the woman's concerning attraction to Doctor Harrington which leads to the point of using her to achieve what she wants.

But she would not help Hyacinth even if her offer is tempting. She could never degrade herself by betraying Flynn's trust in her. It is unimaginable and Flynn would certainly not like it if he finds out she is toying with him.

"Doctor?" she called as she knocks on the door.

"Come in."

Upon opening it, she saw the same state of his office—still in such disarray. She found Doctor Harrington on his desk and occupied with writing. He only glanced at her when she closed the door, his green eyes striking her the same as Adam's. But from all the days she has been with Flynn, he never made her recall her memories like the two times Adam did.

"You seriously have to clean this, Doctor—"

"Flynn, Freira," he pressed, bringing back their usual argument whenever she addresses him differently from what he prefers.

She did not argue and just walked past the books and papers that are scattered on the floor. She managed to reach him and he was just waiting with his hands clasped and his chin resting on them, waiting for her.

"I'll help you clean," she said and he was about to protest when she continued, "I am already done with my rounds so there is no need to worry about it. Besides, helping you organize this place would clear my mind whenever I visit."

"Is it really that bad? he asked, smiling, making her lips tug upwards as well.

She nodded and he shook his head playfully. They went on with their usual questioning and she answered him with full honesty. It was when he was occupied with writing everything that she has shared today did she had the courage to ask what has been bothering her for quite some time now.

"I wonder...Flynn," she said, forcing herself to call his name despite not getting used to it.

"What is it?"

"Will I ever be allowed to go out of the hospital? I mean to start a life outside, that is."

She did not immediately get an answer but she knew he was listening since he froze on his spot.

"Would you want that?"

"Not just want, it is mayhap what I need," she said, honestly. "It has been a year now and I'm still stuck with not remembering anything significant. I figured that I just need to be out there in order to experience a life out of difficulty and mayhap be forced to remember because of it."

"The world out there is not what you think it is, Freira."

"And that is exactly what I think I need, to face that part of life head-on. I cannot go on like this."

Flynn looked at her intently, his green eyes expressing something she cannot pinpoint what is. "If that is what you want." He breathed out heavily. "I'll arrange something for you."

She smiled widely, not expecting that he would agree so easily. "Thank you."

He reached out for her and she willingly gave her hand for him to squeeze and extend whatever it is he is feeling now. "All I want is what's best for you, Freira. Remember that."