Letters With Boys

Letters From the Boys - September

Hey Memphis,

Wow. That was kind of a lot to unpack. I have to say, after seeing some of the garbage my friends had to read, I’m glad I was assigned someone interesting. At least, “interesting” is one word for it.

I think you’re onto something with your whole “they want us to stop jumping into bed with boys” theory, though I’m surprised to hear you admitting that it’s too little, too late. Does this mean you’re telling me you and your friends are as, erm, loose as people say Alexandria girls are? If so, would you like to meet up sometime?

(I’m only kidding. Mostly.)

Thanks for what you said about Lancaster boys, by the way. Sorry for whatever Lancaster scoundrel apparently did something shitty to you, but selfishly, I’m glad to hear someone can see through their ridiculous acts.

I think the reason our teachers agreed to this pen pal thing was to teach us how to respect women. (For example, not calling them “loose.” You can see I have a lot to learn.) I think it might be too little, too late for us, as well, but, hey—worth a shot. Anything to not be as bad as Lancaster.

Name: Grayson Allen Gehrig. Everyone calls me Gray, though. You are welcome to do the same.

Age: 18. And happy belated to you. Sounds like a fun time. I’d tell you about my eighteenth birthday, but I definitely don’t remember it.

Aspirations: Not sure what to tell you here. Not getting kicked out of Seacoast is about all I can strive for at the moment—something you apparently know a bit about.

Hobbies: Same page as you on a few of these things. Well, not the drumming, I guess, but the Zelda, absences, and acquiring things parts. (At least, I think we’re on the same page. You were pretty vague. Are we talking smokable things? Snortable things? Drinkable things? I need a little more information here.) I’m also pretty decent at beating people up. I don’t say that to scare you, but may as well be upfront about it. Word gets around.

Fears: I’m going to have to agree with you that this one’s personal, but since I found your first letter fairly intriguing, I’ll go ahead and give you my answer in the hopes of hearing yours: I’m scared of being nothing. I realize that might not make much sense, but I guess just try your best to see it in the broader sense. You know… not mattering. Not really having existed at all, and being forgotten as soon as I’m gone.

I guess that’s a bit morbid for a first letter. I hope you’ll feel encouraged to be equally morbid right back to me. Feel free to tell me other things about yourself, you know, beyond the five, stupid things our teachers required of us. There are far more interesting questions, like… what’s the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?

Later,

Gray

P.S.: Full disclosure? I looked you up on social media. Well, hell, I’m sure everyone involved in this pen pal project did the same thing. Only I couldn’t find you. What gives?

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Hi Tally,

Thank you for the compliments (if I can really call them compliments?) on my name. I can’t say I have ever watched Pretty Little Liars before, but I have dated a handful of girls who mentioned the character named Ezra. Interestingly, they all pretty much just swooned over him and never mentioned his having been a creepy, child-molester type. That was unfortunate to hear.

It’s nice to hear you are “low maintenance,” as your friend puts it—there are far too many girls these days who are the opposite, in my opinion. But don’t feel like we need to keep these letters short on my behalf.

Name: Ezra Derek Finnigan

Age: 18

Aspirations: As a matter of fact, I want to be a lawyer, too. Like you said—I guess it’s not that uncommon of an aspiration, in our necks of the woods. I was sorry to read that you don’t think you have a chance at the volleyball thing. At least it’s something you can always do for fun?

Hobbies: I guess I’m fairly typical in these. I like playing football with the guys, though I’m not on the team. I’m class president, and tend to have my hands full with that and the other clubs I’m in (model UN, mock trial, that sort of thing).

Fears: I can’t say I’m an introvert like you, Tally—I’m about as extroverted as they come. Honestly, I think my biggest fear is failure—not getting into the right college; not getting the right job; that sort of thing. Lame, I suppose. But I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and I would hate for it to have been for nothing.

Would love to hear more about you. Are you from Granger, or somewhere else? What’s your family like? What do you like to do for fun?

Fondly,

Ezra

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Bridget,

Well, you seem positively delightful. It’s really a shame we can’t get to know each other better. But since you insist, I’ll keep my response brief, as well.

Name: Kai Tolbert

Age: 17

Aspirations: To become a professional soccer player. Or, if I fail at that, to become a coach, or at least an assistant coach, a la Nathan from Ted Lasso (minus the heinous betrayal). Those who can't do, teach, right?

Hobbies: Soccer. That, and volunteering with various nonprofit organizations including Habitat for Humanity and Planned Parenthood. But I wouldn’t want to bore you with all of that, as I'm sure you don't have time for it.

Fears: Being a bad person. That, and disappointing my mother, which kind of go hand in hand.

Thanks,

Kai

P.S.: I can’t speak for all Seacoast boys, but I don’t make assumptions about anyone—even prep school girls. If I had made assumptions, though, you would have confirmed just about all of them with that letter.

P.P.S.: It’s really a shame you didn’t pull our class prez, Ezra. You two would get along swimmingly.