Letters With Boys

Memphis and Gray, Week 2 - September

Hey Memphis,

I get it. I’m sorry. I’m an asshole.

Please don’t just write “the bare minimum.” I like writing with you. You’re teaching me, remember? You’re teaching me how to not be an asshole. I’ve learned so much already—like, for example, don’t creepily stalk your pen pal’s friend on social media to determine that your pen pal is a very beautiful girl, and then ask her out.

Can we just forget that happened and go back to writing each other?

I get that you might not be feeling very conversational with me at the moment, so I’ll do my part to help by supplying some new questions for you.

Question 1: Where are you from?

Question 2: What is your favorite color?

Question 3: What is your favorite song?

I like The Killers, too, by the way. They aren’t my favorite, but they’ve been putting out undeniably good, steady albums for, what, a decade now? There aren’t many bands like them left anymore, and that, I appreciate.

I also appreciate you—not just what you look like, but what you write like, too. And I hope you’ll write back to me with more than the bare minimum.

Best,

Gray

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Gray,

Question 1: Brooklyn, New York

Question 2: Blue

Question 3: Where Is My Mind?

Memphis

P.S.: The Killers have been around for two decades, not one. And their albums are more than “good.”

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Wonderful Memphis,

The Pixies?! Now we’re talking!

I find it interesting that you are from Brooklyn. You don’t see much of that, at least at Seacoast, despite us only being four hours away from New York. Occasionally Upper East Siders, but not Brooklynites. Why did your family move here from Brooklyn?

I’m going to answer these questions, too, thus pretending like you actually are interested in hearing what my answers are.

Question 1: Manhattan. (Yeah, I’m one of those dreaded Upper East Siders, believe it or not.) Technically, my family is still there. If you didn’t know, there’s a section of dormitories at Seacoast for boarding kids. Typically ones who’ve been kicked out of other schools, like me.

Question 2: Red. Like your hair. But I digress.

Question 3: How to Disappear Completely

Enthusiastically yours,

Gray

P.S.: Genuine question. Would it help or hurt if I enclosed a picture of myself with my next letter? Is it sort of an “only fair” thing since I looked up what you looked like? Or would that be more like pouring salt on an open wound?

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Gray,

We moved here for the schools. Specifically the one my little brother goes to, as I could take or leave Alexandria.

I’m not sure whether it’s sad, ironic, or funny that your favorite song pretty much depicts the thing you fear the most. But I do like Radiohead. We went to go see them for my seventeenth birthday. Bridget and Tally pretty much only knew Creep, but they were good sports about it.

Please do not send me a photo of yourself. I do not care what you look like.

Memphis

P.S.: It is technically just “Pixies.” Not “The Pixies.”

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Sweet Memphis,

How old is your little brother? Does he go to Seacrest? What’s his name? I would be surprised if he went to Lancaster, given that you said you don’t like those boys. Which, by the way, I’m still wondering what the story is there. Though I fully support your not liking them.

I think the word you’re looking for regarding my favorite song would be “masochistic.” Which is a fair point. But I think a lot of us are drawn to music that depresses us. After all, Where is My Mind isn’t exactly optimistic, is it?

I’m excited to hear you like Radiohead, though not surprised, as you are clearly a woman of taste. I have seen them four times myself. I would love to take you to see them someday.

I have a thousand more questions for you, but I think I will settle for just two more for now:

(1) How do you feel about Harry Potter?

(2) How do you feel about Lord of the Rings?

Fondly,

Gray

P.S.: Does your slightly more than bare minimum letter mean that I’m forgiven?

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Gray,

Where is My Mind is actually very optimistic. Black Francis wrote it after a trip to the Caribbean. But I’ll let that one slide, because I tend to listen to music that depresses me, too.

My brother Todd doesn’t go to Seacrest or Lancaster. He goes to a very small and special school that I’m sure you won’t have heard of.

(1) I’ve read each book and seen each movie at least ten times.

(2) I’ve read each book and seen each movie at least ten times.

I would like to hear your thoughts on (1) and (2) as well please.

Mem

P.S.: Yes, on a trial basis, you are forgiven.