Chapter 4
2475 Words
I feel really nervous. Extremely nervous that I think I could puke my intestines out right in this moment.
Today is the day of the competition and we’re in Toronto. I am already in my black costume. Miss Helenes helped me in picking this outfit. She said the crystals that lined the neckline is definitely the main point of this outfit.
My hair is in a clean bun. My face is fully made up—smoky eyes with small crystals lying on my right temple. An artificial gold feather is on the right side of my head, giving my hair a little accent.
I am standing on the backstage, already on stand-by mode because I am the next one to perform.
My heart is beating really loud as I heard the cheers of the people for the performer before me. Nothing is registering in my head and my hands are already getting cold.
This is very different than what I am usually feeling before competitions. Normally, I would feel the nerves but not of this kind and intensity. I don’t know if the reason is Tatiana Peters being one of the judges. She’s been my role model after Miss Helenes. She’s one of the best ballerinas in America in the whole early 2000s.
And she still is until now.
I wonder if I can impress her now with my routine because I really want to do the best in front of her. She’s one of my idols and I want her to like me.
“Next, Miss Quessandra Phoebe Collins from the city of Chicago,” the announcer stated.
I took a deep breath before giving out a poised wide smile as I started walking nervously to the center of the stage.
The stadium is huge and I noticed how my competitors already have a huge fanbase. Now, I’m getting even more pressured. I only have Marie and Miss Helenes on the audience for me. The anxiety inside me is getting even higher.
You can do it, I told myself as the music started playing and I began dancing my routine.
With every turn and with every wave of my hands, I tried to imagine my life as an orphan and willed myself to do even better. Because I don’t want to be in that situation again—sure it made me stronger but I don’t want to experience that situation again.
I don’t want to go back to being alone. I don’t want to go back to being a woman of just dreams. I want to live my dream. And that’s to become a good ballerina.
I did my final turn and landed on my final pose. I heard a loud applause from the crowd and somehow, it made me feel relieved. I also saw the judges nodding their head affirmatively.
I smiled and looked at where Miss Helenes and Marie are. They are smiling widely while proudly clapping their hands. My heart calmed down and felt comfortable with my performance.
“Thank you, Miss Collins for Chicago!”
I did a final bow before exiting the stage. I immediately went back to the stand-by area and waited for the other contestants to finish before the announcement of winners.
I sat and prayed for better results. But above all, I prayed for a healthy and fair competition.
We were called in for the final announcement. We’re all lined up in front of everyone while holding hands like any other competition. The second and first runners up were called and my name still hasn’t been called in.
My heart is pounding against my chest as the announcer opened the envelope containing the winner’s name.
Shit!
My throat went dry as the announcer smiled upon reading the name of the winner.
“And the winner is…” the announcer trailed building up even more anticipation.
I gulped so hard as I felt my hands being squeezed by the girls beside me. They are also nervous like me. I can feel it.
“The winner is Miss Quessandra Phoebe Collins from Chicago!” the host announced making my eyes go wide and my jaw drop in surprise.
Oh my God! I won?!
The girls beside me already started hugging and congratulating me while I was still in deep shock. I just won one of the biggest ballet competitions for the year! And this will also give me a contract with one of the musicals that will start showing by the start of next year!
I must be dreaming!
I was pushed to the center while the judges came and awarded me a ballerina trophy and a gold sash. They also hugged me and told me that I have a lot more to offer the world of ballet.
I spent a few more minutes on the stage until I got to escape and go to Miss Helenes and Marie who are equally happy for my achievement.
“You are so good!” Marie told me as she hugged me.
Miss Helenes nodded. “You did so great, Quessandra. Congratulations!” she told me as she hugged me as well.
I thanked them in tears of joy before I ran back to the backstage to get changed. Miss Helenes said that we’ll have a celebratory dinner tonight before we head back to Chicago first thing in the morning.
She’s happy because Marie placed second on her category and I won. We all succeeded here in Canada.
I took a bath and changed into simple shirt and jeans with a long, thick coat. I also wore a brown beanie before heading to where Miss Helenes and Marie.
I slung my duffel bag around my arm when I heard my phone beep.
Unregistered number:
Congratulations, ballerina!
I bit my lip. Usually, I would get annoyed but because I am in euphoria now, I typed in a reply.
Me:
Thanks.
I also took this chance to call Evan to tell him that I won but then the moment the call was answered, I heard a woman’s voice.
“Hello?” she asked in a soft voice.
I pursed my lips. “Where’s Evan?” I asked, trying to remove all the bad ideas in my brain. Evan’s in a shooting so I think this could be his manager or make-up artist.
“Oh, my boyfriend is in the shower. Who is this?”
My jaw dropped.
What?!
I wanted to say something but then I heard Evan’s voice in the background and I immediately ended the call.
My hand gripped tightly on the strap of my duffel bag as the happiness I felt just a few moments ago was gone in a blink.
Tears started to form around my eyes as I walked to the exit. I harshly wiped the tears on my face when I felt someone hold my wrist.
I narrowed my eyes, ready to snap at the person when my eyes widened because Miller Compton is looking at me curiously.
“Are you okay?” he asked in a low baritone and that’s when I started to breakdown.
I cried in front of him and didn’t care what he’d say because all I can think of is Evan is cheating on me. He said he’ll be in the shooting so he couldn’t make it. But he’s with…someone else.
“Quessandra?” Miller asked, probably in shock of what just happened to me.
I shook my head and turned my back at him. It was wrong of me to cry in front of him. Now he’s going to pester me with questions again.
“Hey,” he called me softly as he gently held my hand and tried to make me face him again. He even took my duffel bag from me and slung it over his shoulder.
I sighed and got the bag from him but he shook his head.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
He c****d his head to the side and raised his brow. “Nothing made you cry?” he asked. “Are you sure?” He was a little sarcastic at his final remark.
“I’m sure.”
I sighed and shook my head as I got the bag from him. He still didn’t give me but he’s looking at me with a ghost of a smile on his lips.
“What are you doing tonight?” he asked and I’m glad that he didn’t dwell too much on the reason why I cried.
“I have dinner with Miss Helenes and Marie.”
He raised his brow. “You’re actually talking to me better now,” he commented. “I wonder if you have to cry first before I’d get you to talk to me like you do with everyone else.”
I looked at him and saw something in his eyes. I pursed my lips in a thin line before sighing. “Why do you like wasting your time with me?” I asked him.
His eyes narrowed for a moment before he chuckled weakly. “Do you think I am wasting my time?” he asked back.
I frowned at him. “Do you think you’re not?” I questioned. “You are a rich man. You have a lot of options and I bet you have someone chosen for you to marry—”
“Woah! Baby, stop,” he chuckled as he stopped me.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Stop calling me that!” I rolled my eyes.
He continued to laugh. “You’re thinking way too ahead in the future,” he told me. “I’m not wasting my time on you. I wouldn’t come to another country just to watch you perform if I think you’re a waste of time.”
I stilled at his words. Is he serious?
His eyes zeroed on me. “And I don’t have someone else to marry. I won’t let someone else—not even my parents—decide that for me,” he said in a serious tone. “So, are we good?”
Something about his words made me speechless. I don’t even know why I am speechless. His words shouldn’t matter to me but they get to me. Or maybe it’s just because I feel hurt now to know that Evan has someone else.
“I have a boyfriend.” My voice was shaking because the pain envelopes me whenever I think of Evan as my boyfriend.
Miller nodded. “And where is he anyway?”
I pursed my lips in a thin line. “He has a schedule.”
He c****d his head to the side. “A schedule he couldn’t cancel so he could be with you?” he asked and his words started to taunt me.
I used to love how Evan loves his job but after that call, I began to hate his job now. It’s crazy, actually. Evan lied to me but I couldn’t hate him fully so I choose to hate his job instead.
Miller narrowed his eyes at me. “You don’t deserve being neglected for anything, Quessandra. You deserve the whole world and I’m willing to give you everything if only you would choose me.”
I blinked several times. “What?” I asked, almost breathless because I am taken aback by his words.
He pursed his lips in a thin line. “I am serious. Leave him. Be with me and I’ll give you everything he couldn’t give you.”
“Miller—”
“What do you need? Time? I’ll cancel all my meetings just to watch your shows. Commitment? I’ll turn down every model just to make you mine.”
My heart started pounding against my chest. His eyes pierced deep inside me and his voice was void of any humor. He’s dead serious on this and I feel like my soul is slowly leaving my body because of his words.
He stepped closer and held my chin up to face him. His eyes dropped to my lips. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered like a prayer. “Can I kiss you?”
I thinned my lip and gulped. “Miller…” I whispered as a warning but I don’t know how it sounded like because his eyes suddenly softened.
I can see that he’s restraining himself from doing something that would annoy me. I can see how he’s fighting himself just to not make me mad.
He sighed and stepped back. He shut his eyes forcefully before looking back at me. “I’m sorry. Don’t mind that question,” he said before looking away.
I stared at him sharp jawline that’s clenching hard right now. My eyes went down his hands and saw them fisted on his sides.
“Congratulations,” he said in a whisper.
I narrowed my eyes at the sudden change of his mood. But then I just shrugged. I shouldn’t be affected too much because I have a bigger problem than this. “Thanks.”
He nodded and then started to walk away without a word.
I watched him curiously as walked away from me like he’s been itching to leave me. “What the hell is wrong with him?” I mumbled to myself.
I sighed and just shook my head as I started to walk towards the opposite way to spend dinner with Miss Helenes and Marie.
***
“Babe…” Evan came to the studio the same day that I got back. He’s been trying to call me to explain but I kept shutting him out because I am not really ready to forgive him just yet.
I am so mad at him that I can’t even make myself listen to his words.
I trusted him. He was that one man I thought would never leave me. I guess I was wrong.
“That was my manager,” he started to explain but I rolled my eyes and just continued to rehearse. “She doesn’t know about us yet.”
I looked at him sharply. I am aware that I am his little secret. He wanted me to come to him several times for his premier nights but I couldn’t because I know his management wouldn’t let him. They want to market him as a bachelor in order to have more female supporters and I understand that.
But I would never ever tolerate cheating.
“Then why did she say that she’s your girlfriend?” I asked, bitterness dripping on my voice.
Evan sighed. “I don’t know! I was so mad at her when she told me about what she did. It was already late when I realized that you called.”
His voice sounded pleading. Desperation was also noted but I can’t make myself forgive him anyway.
“I miss you,” he said weakly. “I really do.”
He held my hand and made me face him. He crouched a little to meet my gaze. His eyes are filled with sorrow as he caressed my face.
“I’m sorry…” he uttered and I can hear sincerity.
Or am I just being stupid?
“Forgive me, please?” he begged softly before dipping down for a quick kiss.
And just like that, I melted.
“Please?” he asked again, painfully.
I looked at him for a few moments before sighing. “Fine,” I uttered. “But I don’t want something like this to happen again…” I warned.
He nodded and smiled widely. “It won’t happen again…” he said like a promise.
I smiled and hugged him tight. “I love you.”
He chuckled and kissed my hair. “I love you, too…so much,” he whispered and everything felt right once more.
- Writer
