Forgetting to Breathe

Chapter 2-3

The bleachers were packed. The lights were bright. The crowd was cheering loudly, and the game hadn’t even begun yet. I smoothed down my dress—one that Jennifer had picked out for me. It was red and simple. Jennifer said that red was a scientifically proven sexy color.

“How the hell are we going to find her here?”

“We will! We just have to look for all of the other jocks. I’m sure she will be sitting with her team,” she responded as we pushed through the people. Everyone reeked of alcohol. All of the students snuck in beer, and the coaches and other adults all turned a blind eye, because they were so into the game. They didn’t care what we were doing, as long as our team won.

“Jenny! Ash!” We heard Ariel yell from the top of the bleachers and wave for us to join in.

“Ugh, we will never find her,” I said, discouraged.

“On the contrary, if we go up there, we can see everyone and it will be easier to spot her!” She grinned and grabbed my hand, dragging me behind her. I loved how smart she was sometimes.

“Whoa! Look at you!” Jacob said to me, his eyes wide. I crossed my arms, trying to cover my cleavage.

“Stop it, you pervert,” Ariel scolded him and turned back to face me. “You look hot.”

“Stop it, you pervert,” I replied and laughed.

We all settled in as the game started, and Jennifer and I were on our mission. We skimmed the crowds, thinking we had seen her a few times, but it never was. I was starting to lose hope again.

“Ash! There she is!” Jenny grabbed my and pulled me up. A few people behind us yelled at us to sit down, but we ignored them. I looked at where she was pointing, and she was right. Keira was sitting down at the bottom of the bleachers with a bunch of jocks. I didn’t see Sadie. Maybe this was my chance.

“Come on!” She clutched my hand, and we rushed down to the bottom of the bleachers.

“Wait, so what am I going to say?” I was talking loudly so she could hear me over the marching band.

“I don’t know. Just be like, hey you know how you think I’m straight? Well I’m not’?” she said nonchalantly. I was worried, thinking that was our only plan was a poor one.

As we got closer to her and her friends, Jenny let go of my hand and tried pep talking me. She grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eye.

“Alright, so just be casual. Bring up that you’re sorry about her and her girlfriend. Then just blurt out that you’re gay. Like you’re ripping off a Band-Aid. Remember—it’s not about the eloquence of the dialogue. It’s about getting the facts out there.”

She sounded so crazy that it actually made sense. Was she a genius? Or was I going crazy, too?

“It’s your time to shine, kid.” She let go of me and I stepped closer to Keira. She hadn’t noticed me yet. She was deep in conversation with her friends.

“Hey—” I started to call to her, but stopped as I saw Sadie slide in next to her. She handed her a drink and kissed Keira on her cheek. I felt sick to my stomach. Oh my God, I was so stupid. If they notice me, what am I going to do?

I panicked and turned back, but I heard her voice call me.

“Ashley! Hey!” she said cheerfully. I winced, knowing for sure she had seen me, and turned back with a forced smile on my face. I felt so awkward.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” I kicked myself. What a stupid question to ask. I could see her girlfriend glaring at me out of the corner of my eye. I tried to avoid looking at Sadie.

“Oh, you know, just studying hard,” she replied with her trademark sarcasm. She was looking straight into my eyes. The butterflies were back. Sadie’s hand reached for hers, but she didn’t notice. Because she was drunk, probably.

“You know, you need to give yourself a break and stop working so hard,” I joked back with her and she laughed loudly. It made me feel so good, that I almost forgot about her girlfriend killing me with a death stare right now.

“You should sit with us,” she suggested and tried scooting over, but Sadie refused to budge.

“Oh no, I don’t want to impose. I have to get back anyways,” I replied, and started to turn to walk away, but suddenly, I had arms wrapped around me. I breathed a sigh of relief whenever I saw that it was Jennifer, but that relief was soon replaced with surprise. She laid a big kiss on me. When I pulled back, her hands moved to my waist, pulling me into her. It seemed like minutes before she pulled away from me, leaving me in a daze. What had just happened?

“Come on, babe, we have to get back to our seats,” she said sweetly, grabbing hold of my hand and leading me.

As soon as we were out of earshot of them, she turned and smiled at me.

“What was that?” I asked her, as confused as I could possibly be.

“That was our Plan B. And look.” She nodded towards Keira. When I looked, I saw that she was looking at me, confused, with Sadie, looking angry, staring out to the football field.

“Oh my God. You are a secret genius.” I was stunned.

“I know,” She responded, smirking, and we continued up the bleachers, to our friends. I kept my eye on Keira and her girlfriend and it looked like the plan was well in action—they were fighting. I felt a tinge of guilt.

“What’s wrong?” Jennifer poked me in the side, bringing my attention back to her.

“I just feel bad.” And I really did. I didn’t want Keira to be unhappy.

“You have nothing to feel bad about. You haven’t crossed any lines,” she defended our plan, and she was right. “All that happened was they saw you and your girlfriend kiss.”

“My girlfriend?” I raised my eyebrow at her.

“Well yeah. You having a fake girlfriend is perfect.” She could tell that I wasn’t following. “Okay, so it means you clearly aren’t trying to break them up, because you have your own relationship. But it also lets Keira know that you are gay. Then once they break up, so will we,” she nonchalantly said, flipping her hair to be dramatic.

“Okay, that’s actually a good idea.” It was. “But why would you do this for me? People are going to think you’re gay, you realize?”

“So what? I don’t care what the people in this s**t town think of me,” she responded, and we both laughed.