Forgetting to Breathe

Chapter 2-1

Chapter 2

After my uneventful coming out to the girls, I was feeling good. We shared the news with the boys, and they collectively replied, “Hot.”

I had arrived at school and closed the door to my Mustang, an old 2000 model, but I loved it. It was stick shift, and I actually bought it before I knew how to drive it. All summer I stalled out, got frustrated, and considered trading it. But I stuck with it, and it was my baby now.

Throwing my backpack over one shoulder, I walked through the crowd of students to my classroom. I was the first to arrive—as always. Mr. Dunphy smiled and nodded at me, as he did every morning.

I pulled my folder out of my backpack and placed it on my cold, white desk. As I flipped through my work sheets, a few people trickled in. I glanced at the door each time, hoping it would be her. My heart dropped whenever she finally entered the door. She was holding Sadie’s hand, smiling widely.

The blonde was whispering something to her and she was eating it up. I tried to engross myself into the paper on my desk, but no matter how hard I stared at it, I couldn’t give it my attention. I looked at them out of my peripherals and could make out them leaned over, talking to each other.

Finally, the bell rang and our teacher began the class.

“Okay, we are going to start class by doing another partner activity.”

Inside my head, I prayed the he would say Keira and I.

“Lisa and Fred. Geraldine and Thomas. Sadie and Sean. Keira and…”

Please be me, please be me, please be me.

“Ashley.”

Yes! I internally cheered, but tried to keep my cool. I looked over at the brunette, with a smile on my face. She was talking to her girlfriend, though, and they seemed to be in a heated conversation. What had changed since the beginning of class?

Finally, she arrived at the seat next to me.

“Hey.”

“Hey. You okay?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t overstepping my boundaries.

“Yeah,” she replied and I noticed that she sounded exhausted. “Actually, no.” She shook her head and sighed, running her hand through her hair.

“What is it?” I asked softly, hoping it didn’t seem weird that I was so concerned.

“Sadie…” she started off and looked over at her girlfriend to make sure that she wasn’t looking, and whispered to me, “Sadie doesn’t like us working together.”

“Oh,” I simply replied. I didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s stupid,” she said and let out a heavy breath. “I told her you were straight, but she doesn’t care.” She stared into my eyes for a second before looking at her paper. “I don’t know. She’s so jealous sometimes.”

She thinks I’m straight, from the other day. Now I would never have a chance with her. Not that I did before, but now I never would. Should I tell her I’m a lesbian? No, that would stress her and her relationship even more. And be weird. Great.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to stress you out,” she apologized. She was so sweet.

“No. No. It doesn’t stress me out. I’m sorry. Why does she think there is anything to be worried about?” I asked and glanced to Sadie’s direction and noticed her staring at us. Glaring, actually. I quickly looked away and down at my desk, nervously shuffling through papers.

“It’s really stupid,” she trailed off, a hint of a smile on her face. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Tell me,” I gently prodded her, and her smile grew.

“The other day, she brought you up, saying you were really hot…” She glanced back to make sure Sadie wasn’t in earshot. “And I agreed, not realizing it was a trap.” She cringed, but the big grin didn’t leave her face.

My heart was pounding in my chest. She thought I was hot?

“So anyways, she started screaming at me and we fought all weekend. I told her you were straight, but she thought it was bullshit. She said she saw the looks between us two. Crazy, right? We’ve only hung out once. At that doesn’t count, because we are in class,” She justified and stared into my eyes again. I gulped.

“Yeah. Totally crazy,” I replied and mentally kicked myself for my pathetic reply. She was still staring at me.

“I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable I think you’re hot.”

“No, it…it doesn’t,” I replied. “I’m flattered, in fact.” Keira rewarded me with a big grin on her face.

“As you should be. I have very high standards,” she replied and winked at me, causing butterflies to return to my stomach. “Anyways, we have some math problems to crack,” She changed the subject.

“Yes, we do, Mitchell,” I replied.

We shared another smile, trying to ignore the daggers that were coming from her girlfriend’s eyes.