The sound of the Rain

6. Moving Forward

“Oh, are you trying to break up with me?” Yuriko sat on the opposite side of the table, facing Hiroki. She didn’t seem angry after hearing about the breakup, more like she looked amused. Hiroki didn’t understand her reaction. He knew what kind of person Yuriko was, or at least partly because he thought he knew, but this reaction really surprised him.

“Hmm, you think I am not serious?” He asked her calmly. Ryo warned him several times and, on the way to picked her up from the campus, he re-winded the entire talk with Ryo, giving it serious thought. It felt hard for him to admit, but Ryo did really care about him a lot and not every time Hiroki repaid him his care.

“You can’t break up with me silly.” She replied to him with a wider, happy smile. Hiroki thought hard about the reason why she would say it like this, but he couldn’t come up with anything. She could eventually try to threaten him with the name of her father and the cooperation of their companies, but since he didn’t care about the shares and the business at all plus her father’s company would suffer huge loss if they would break the cooperation now, this couldn’t be the reason for her threatening comment. Hiroki couldn’t think about anything else she held in her arms which could control him.

“And why is that?” He asked her, but keeping his tone cold and without emotions. It didn’t matter what kind of weapon she would try to pull out to lock him beside her. Hiroki just didn’t care about any of it, but he still was interested in what she had to say.

“Well, break up with me and you will see.” She said sternly but keeping her upper handed posture. Hiroki didn’t know what she planned, but he ignored it and left it be. If she wanted to play a game, he could as well just play it and see who would win in the end. Yuriko stood up and flipped her hair and turned to Hiroki.

“Drive me home.” She practically ordered him. Hiroki lifted his eyes to meet hers and for a second looked to those eyes which he found alluring a long time ago. All those years he spent with her, messing out, skipping school and just enjoying himself, he never looked at her clearly like today. He suddenly questioned his decision to start with her. Sure, she was exceptionally beautiful with an amazing curve, but was it all? The only thing he cared about was her body and nothing else? A lot of thoughts flooded his mind as he was looking at the cold woman standing in front of him, sternly looking down at him like he was trash. Then it hit him. The same as he was using her, she used him to gain more prestige. He was just a tool for her to climb the ladder in society. The only thing he always hated about people and the reason he let nobody close to him, yet he kept her so close just like that.

Hiroki stood up from his chair, keeping a wide smile on his lips. “Get yourself a taxi.” He said while leaving a few dollars on the table, right in front of her eyes before turning around and heading to his bike. She tried to follow him, but he just put the helmet on, jumping on the bike and leaving her standing there. In the mirror he could see her quickly disappearing angry face. It felt good. It felt damn good to leave her in dust like this and Hiroki totally enjoyed every single second, but once he got far enough, her words and the tone she used to deliver her words made him think what the heck she meant by that. He tried to dig deeper into his memory, searching for anything that would give her upper hand above him, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find anything.

“Ah, welcome back.” Ryo greeted him. He instinctively checked the time on his watch, looking back up to Hiroki, surprised he returned so quickly.

“What happened?” He asked right away, giving no time to Hiroki to reply to his greeting. Hiroki noticed there were already a few customers sitting in the booths, quietly drinking or conversing among each other. The bar tools were still empty, which was good.

“Nothing. I finished with her.” Those words surprised Ryo even more. He talked to Hiroki just about an hour ago and even though he finished with her, it was the first time he did something so swiftly.

“That was faster than expected.” He replied to him, but since Hiroki seemed to be still thinking about something, he refused to ask him further about it.

“What would you like to drink?” He asked him instead. He knew Hiroki still came by his bike, but if he had no other plans today, he would probably stay in Ryo’s home overnight. On days like these, when thoughts flooded his mind completely, it was the one thing Ryo could bet on. Coming back home in this state of mind would cause him troubles and most likely we would incite a fight with either his mother or brother.

“You know I came on my bike.” Hiroki argued with him.

“And I know you will stay overnight in my place, so what’s your point exactly?” Ryo replied to him knowingly. Hiroki clicked his tongue, knowing that Ryo was right. He didn’t feel like coming home today at all. Already in the morning he argued with his brother, then he met this strangely familiar girl in the campus and until now he couldn’t get her sad look from his mind. After that, he broke up with Yuriko, who threatened him strangely, which kept his mind occupied. Coming home now was almost like putting bomb into a breathing volcano.

“Sometimes you are pretty annoying.” Hiroki commented, but already motioned to bring him a drink. Asking him what kind of drink he would like to drink was just a habit of work. Ryo knew very well what drinks to make for Hiroki, but since he worked as a bartender, it felt natural to ask everyone. Ryo already had some regular customers excluding Hiroki, yet he always asked what they would like to drink. Who knew? Maybe one day they would like to change and order something else.

“Yeah, I know, but I am still your only friend and your best friend, so there is nothing you can do about that.” Ryo replied to him almost like they were lovers and not just mere friends. Ryo wasn’t a gay, but he wasn’t straight either. When he loved someone, he loved no matter the gender. He already dated girls, same as he dated guys, but none of his relationships became serious. Maybe it was the lack of attention from his side that ended up as a reason for break up from his partners. Ryo never really thought about it properly. Hiroki was aware of this side of him, but he never seemed to care about this or feeling bothered by it. They both had some sort of silent agreement with each other.

Once Ryo gave him the drink, he left him alone for a moment to check on his other customers. Since Hiroki entered the bar, few more poured inside and the bar slowly got filled with a lot of silent people who just quietly sipped their drinks. Ryo always played music in the bar, not too loud, just enough if a group came in and they wanted to talk, they could converse without the urge to scream at others like it was in disco bars where the music restricts you and hearing each other was practically impossible.

“When you get tired just head up.” Ryo handed the keys to his apartment, which was right above the bar, to Hiroki. He took the keys, showing them in the pocket, and continued sipping his drinks. Ryo looked at him a few times as he was mixing the drinks for the customers.

“You work alone today?” Hiroki realized Ryo was alone in the bar for now, handling the bar and the serving as well.

“Armin comes around four. I can handle the work until then alone. I got used to it and it’s not that much work, anyway. They drink slowly.” Ryo explained. Hiroki looked around properly one more time and he realized that most of the people really sat alone. Two small groups occupying booths ordered bottles and some other drinks in advance, so they already didn’t need that much attention. In the end, Ryo was right and his regular customers really didn’t need that much attention. Hiroki felt somehow sad about seeing those people just sitting there, sipping the alcohol. Too many emotions mirrored in their faces. Maybe not that bad idea to take over the family business. He would be busy and wouldn’t have time to think about this miserable life.

Hiroki got used to seeing those sad faces. They were everywhere. At campus, in his home, at father’s company, which he visited frequently as a kid and now as an adult, he saw them even more often. Getting company and having a lot of money might get him out of this circle, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to do what he wanted. Hiroki had his own dreams which he wished to fulfill and locking himself in the office wasn’t it.

“Don’t overthink Hiro.” Ryo suddenly grabbed his hand, forcing him to lift his eyes and look at him.

“What do you mean?” He asked him, keeping the hand in the same place, not fully realizing Ryo was holding his hand.

“You had again that gloomy face you make from time to time when you think about your life, the company and everything.” Ryo explained to him. He kept his hand in place for a second longer before he finally released Hiroki’s hand but was still standing in front of him, making sure Hiroki wouldn't fall back to his thoughts.

“Sorry.” He said instead of giving any explanation or questioning what Ryo just said. Something was off with him today, but Ryo couldn’t figure out what it was. Something must have put Hiroki into this.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be drinking today.” Ryo tried to take the glass from him, but Hiroki held on to it tightly.

“I am fine.” Hiroki told him, but the truth was completely opposite. The girl he met today reminded him of someone who was long lost for him. He lost contact with her a long time ago, unable to search for her. Hiroki tried a lot of times, but everything failed. He thought he already forgot her since he couldn’t find her, but the girl today reminded him of that fresh air she always had around her, yet the girl he met was so sad. He couldn’t get those memories out of his mind.

“Saito?” Ryo said one word. One simple name, yet the weight of it landed hardly on Hiroki.

“How long has it been now?” Hiroki asked him.

“Four years since you talked about her last time.” He replied.

“I see.” Hiroki said before searching for the keys in the pocket and leaving the bar. He couldn’t stay there any longer. Something was wrong with him today, and drinking would only make it worse.