Chapter 1
Rosalie's POV
“Some things in life you have to accept because you have no control over it. Other things you can change because you have the control. You just have to figure out what's worth fighting for.”
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"Chemotherapy and radiation therapy are sometimes used to try to slow tumor growth and improve symptoms, but frequently they're ineffective for primary heart cancer," My consultant -Dr. Rodriguez, a 45-year-old Oncologist, here in San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital- says looking at me in sympathy.
Dr. Rodriguez begins treating me two years ago when I was diagnosed with a malignant heart tumor. It's a rare and severe heart tumor that tends to grow rapidly and invade the walls and other important parts of the heart. It's been two years since I got diagnosed and yet the tumor is still existing in me, heck it's gotten only worse.
I was only 14 when I got diagnosed, at first, it was only a benign(a cancerous but not severe) tumor, they put me into a couple of surgery and because the tumor is small, they say I didn't need to go into chemotherapy. After the surgery that they claim a 'success' was over, I was put back into my normal life. My parent was so relieved and happy that day, they got me worried because when I got diagnosed with a benign tumor, they begin to fight a lot. After all, my father blames my mother's gene for my cancer.
My aunt Melissa died because of breast cancer, as well as my grandpa that got bone marrow. When the symptoms start to show, my mother, bring me to the hospital for a check-up. One of the doctors' questions was if my parent's side got cancers or diagnosed with other diseases, so my mom says, my aunt and grandpa was, and after a lot of tests, examination, trial, and survey, they learned that I got the tumor from my heredity or family genes.
So, after my recovery, my life got back to the way it was before. I continued my school, hang out with my friends, and kept on doing my previous activities. But when I turned sixteen, I begin to feel chest pain, shortness of breath -especially when sleeping- and weakness. Even my friends and family had noticed it -especially with my energetic self. My parents bring me to the hospital again for a check-up and that's when we got informed that I have a heart tumor, not a benign, but a malignant tumor, more severe and rare.
At first, I did not let that affect me and just keep on going with my life. I thought the others with cancer die because they let it get the best of them, so I ignore it but keep on doing my medical needs. But after two years of medical trials, going on with different types of medication and other stuff my doctor recommended to me, it does nothing. I try to keep and think positive, that everything will be alright, but nothing and I mean nothing in my life is doing alright. Everything in my life keeps on falling apart. Not only did I got this tumor but my parents got divorced as well.
I thought at first, my father was just overwhelmed with his feelings about the news and find something or someone to blame about it and then move on but after a year of discovering about my new disease, he just lashes out and files a divorce, for him and mom. I thought he was the one that will keep us from falling apart but I thought wrong. After they got divorced he never visited or contacted us again. I and my mom was left torn and heartbroken. Especially my mom, after 22 years of marriage with dad. So, after that, It's really hard to stay and keep positive. Not to mention my worsening disease.
"What does it mean doctor?" My mother spoke grievously, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I looked over at my mother, -Vivian Wright- who was sitting stiffly, despite the comfortable brown leather seat, she's sitting in. Her brunette hair -which has a slightly gray color because of her age- is pulled into a neat bun and her slightly wrinkled face that held worry and concern is solely focused on the speaking doctor. She was wearing her favorite light blue long sleeve blouse and fitting light blue jeans with some black flats.
I look up to the doctor who is sitting on his chair after not hearing his reply. He looked like whatever he was about to say is physically paining him. Mom and I looked at each other with furrowed eyebrows. I heard Dr. Rodriguez sighed.
"It means..." He sighed. "The radiologist did not recommend Rosalie to undergo a chemo and I did not as well,"
"But why?" My mother questioned, confused and panic. "How will she heal then?"
I just keep quiet listening to my mother's demands and questioned the doctor.
I look down at my shaking hands and sighed shakily. I already guess what's the reason and I already accepted it a long time ago. Besides my mom and best friend, there is nothing here left for me.
"Taking chemo will only worsen her condition. It will weaken the heart muscle from a buildup of calcium and other chemical reactions in the body that release harmful free radicals. Thus, chemotherapy side effects include cardiomyopathy or heart failure."
My mom gasp, she looked completely torn and scared. She looked older than her age because of stress and well me.
"So, what will she take for dialysis then?"
"Unfortunately all she can do is take the pills and other medications that we will give her,"
"How will the tumor ceased if that's the only medication she would take?" She speak frustratedly.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. That's it. It's over, I know it is.
"It will not. As you both know, the malignant heart tumor is rare and severe. It's rapidly growing and destroying some of her tissue and organs. So, no medication can prevent it." he sighed and then turns to look me in the eye, I gulp and close my eyes to keep the tears from falling.
"I'm so sorry but Rosalie... you got to have only 15 months to live,"