A Second Chance Love: My Marine

The beginning to the end

Alena,

I don’t know what to really say to you. We have been talking through letters for some time, on the phone occasionally, but something, in my gut, doesn’t feel right. I have been ignoring your letters and it is about time that I tell you the truth. You are my best friend, and you always will be but I need to say this so I can move on.

What happened was a mistake. That night was amazing, but it should not have happened, and I can’t stop thinking of how it was a mistake. I know I asked you to wait for me, but it was wrong of me to ask, to put you in that place. We knew I was leaving, and we knew we didn’t know how long I was going to be gone.

A part of me will always love you and I want you to remember that. You will always be my best friend, even though Kyle wants us to be more.

I cannot have you wait for me. I don’t want you to. I cannot in good conscience have you be waiting for me when I don’t know what is going to happen during our time apart.

I hope one day you can learn to forgive me, but until then, this is goodbye.

- Lucas

Dear soldier,

You have been away for training for some time, and I just wanted to write to you and say that I miss you. I think about you every day, wondering if you are alright. Our last night together replays in my head and I cannot forget it. Something tells me to keep holding on, but apart of me says to let go. Your last letter, to be honest, broke my heart, so this is something that I must do, for my own piece of mind. We have known each other since we were kids, you were my best friend, you, me and my brother were always together. I know all your secrets and you knew mine and I thought, after what happened, we could move forward and be something.

We wrote every week, like clockwork, then you stopped, and you had me worried. Then that letter came, and it broke me. I never thought that I could hate someone that I loved so much, so, I am giving you what you want. I am letting you go. I know Kyle doesn’t really know what happened, and I plan to keep it that way, even though he pushed us to be together, but this is something that I cannot forgive you for.

I don’t know why you think you know what is best for me, you don’t. I told you I would be here for you, but you decided to let me go, so here, I am gone.

I do wish you the best Lucas. Maybe, one day, when we all grow up and come to our senses, we can meet again. But until then, go f**k yourself.

-Alena

It has been 4 years since I mailed that letter. 5 years since my best friend went into the Marines. We have known each other since we were kids. Lucas, my twin, Kyle and I were best friends. We were inseparable. They treated me like one of the guys. They were with me through thick and thin. When we were kids, my mom wanted to sign me up for figure skating, but they boys taught me how to play hockey and I became one of the better players in our district. My mom wanted me to take dance, but my dad and the boys taught me how to fix cars.

Our history is simple complex. Kyle knew I always had a crush on Lucas, and he always pushed us together, but Lucas never seen me as more than a friend, so I believed.

When we became seniors in high school, I met this girl, Mia, who became my best girl friend and eventually started dating Kyle. She helped me bring out my inner female throughout the year. The guys in school started to notice me more and I went on the occasional date, but I never caught the eye of Lucas.

One day stood out, the day that turned everything around. I was the only girl on our ice hockey team, much to my mother’s dismay. We were playing for the sectional title, and we were in shootout overtime, tied 2-2 and I had the final shot, and it was up to me. I pushed the puck with my skate, eyeing up the goalie. I faked left and shot right, the puck hitting the back of the net. I won us the title and I couldn’t have been prouder. There was to be a party down at the beach in celebration. My team rushed to me and engulfed me in cheers and that is when Lucas skated to me, grabbed me and spun me around, happiness filling his eyes. And he kissed me for the first time, right on the ice, in front of our friends and school. It was a quick kiss, nothing that others would think about, because we were best friends, but to me, it was everything and more.

Kyle and I rushed home and there sat my mother, and she never looked more upset. She always hated the fact that I took after my father more than her, in every way possible. She never went to one of our games because she never supported me. She sat at the kitchen island, waiting for us to come home and as soon as we turned the corner, our happiness faded.

She tossed a letter on the table with a scowl. “What is the world is this crap?” Kyle and I walked to the table and picked up the letter.

Dear Miss. Stevenson

We are proud to announce your acceptance in the NHL internship program. Your experience and leadership skills that we have observed over the past few years make you a qualified candidate. Starting September of the upcoming season, we will fly you down to New York and begin your training.

You will be responsible for holding open skate try outs, assisting with training and assisting with coaching. You will be directly working with the coaching team to help build relationships between the players and build a team that everyone will be proud of.

We will be in further contact regarding housing and transportation. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the general manager of the New York team. We are excited for you to become a part of this family.

-          Mike Daly, owner of the New York Panthers

“Lena! You did it!” Kyle yelled and hugged me. He has always been supportive of my dreams. We have always talked about what we wanted to do when we got older. I knew I wouldn’t be able to play in the NHL, so I wanted to do the next best thing. I wanted to be involved with our favorite team, helping them coach, train and recruit new platers. Kyle wanted to play for them, and we would move to NY together. Lucas wanted the same, to go with us to NY and possibly play for the Panther’s and if for some reason he didn’t make it, which there was no reason why he couldn’t, he wanted to go to school for architecture.

“You knew about this?” our mom exclaimed towards my brother. “What will everyone think? A young lady such as yourself should not be involved in such a barbaric sport!”

“You know nothing of what it is really like our there, mom!” I yelled at her. This was a consistent thing between us. We never got along.

“I don’t care. No daughter of mine is going to be participating in this…this…internship.”

“You can’t tell me what do to with my future! The future is mine to choose, and I want to choose this path for me.” I crossed my arms in anger. I have never been more disappointed in my mom. I always envied Mia. Her relationship with her mother has always been great. Her mom supports her in every decision.

“If you go through with this, you will not be welcomed back into this home.” She glared.

“You won’t do that. What will dad think?” Kyle stated. My mom was about to open her mouth until she seen Mia walk in the door. She has always loved Mia, because she was the daughter that she always wanted.

This was my chance to get away from her, and all this drama. I turned to Mia and the three of us walked upstairs. There was a party at the beach tonight and no matter what happens, I will not let my mother ruin this day for me.

Mia was getting her girl on, making me look presentable. She dressed me in this cute summer dress, white with yellow and black flowers stopping right above me knee and tossed me a pair of black flats. She styled my light brown hair into beachy waves, coming to the middle of my back and did my make up to make my green eyes pop.

“I can def work some magic.” She stated, looking at me in the mirror.

“Thank you.” I said softly. She knew something was wrong, she always knew.

“Spill.”

“There’s so much Mia. So much going on and I cannot wrap my head around it.”

“Okay, well, tell me and we can work on it together, but you better hurry before Lucas and Kyle come in” Lucas came over while Mia was giving me a make over and I avoided him like the plague. “Plus, you need to tell me what that was about on the ice today.”

“That is part of what is going on. You know how much I like Luke. I have had these feelings grow for him for years and Ky has always pushed me to him, but I was always scared. I don’t know why but he kissed me. Then, I come home to my mom, pissed off as usual. She tossed me my acceptance letter to the NHL internship program for the Panthers. She told me if I went, I would not be allowed back home. I don’t know what to do. I also have this feeling that Luke is hiding something from us…he has been acting so…strange.”

As I sat in the chair in front of the mirror. Mia hugged me from behind to comfort me. “Well, first off, congratulations on the internship. We know how much you have worked over the past couple of years putting everything together. No matter what, remember, this is your life, your dream and we will always be here to support you no matter what. Second, I cannot speak for Luke, but you just need to talk to him. You need to know what is going on and what is happening. Instead of wondering on the what ifs of the situation, get to the root of the problem, tackle it head on, aim and shoot for the goal. I will be here for support. You know where you can find Kyle and I. Now, lets get the boys, head to your badass jeep and get to the beach.” I turned to her and hugged her and thanked her for her kind words. “Oh! I also forgot; I am going to NY with you!”

“You’re going? Why? How?”

“I got off the wait list for school. Girl, we are going to NY together!”

“I think this just concluded what I am going to do with my life. I am not going to give up on my dream. We are going to NY!” We jumped and hugged and then there was a knock on the door.

“We are coming in.” I heard Kyle. He opened the door slowly, making sure we were decent. He walked over to Mia and gave him a kiss on her temple, and she just looked up to him and smiled, with so much love in her eyes. Behind him was Lucas.

“You both look beautiful.” Kyle said to both of us. “You do amazing work Mia. You sure know how to turn my sister into a girl.” He laughed. I punched him in the arm. “OW! I need that arm for tryouts Lena!” I rolled my eyes and started to walk to the door with my keys and mini backpack. I was about to pass Lucas when he grabbed my hand, making me stop in my tracks.

“You look beautiful” he whispered, not looking at me. I looked straight ahead, trying not to make eye contact with him. “We need to talk tonight. I will come find you.” I nodded to him, and we all proceeded to my car and head to the beach.

It got dark later, and a fire was blazing in the sand. Everyone was drinking, dancing and talking about what their plans were over the next few weeks. Most of everyone would be going their separate ways.

I am not good with change. The plan was that the four of us to go to NY together and little did I know that night was going to be the night that the plan we have concocted would change.

I needed to get away from the crowd, I wanted some time to myself. I took off my flats and walked to the edge of the water and sat down in the sand, having the waves engulf my feet as the tide came in. I hugged my legs and looked up at the moon, taking in the beauty, when my phone rang.

“Hello?” I asked, picking up the unfamiliar number.

“Alena? This is Mike Daly with the NY Panthers. I am sorry to be bothering you so late, is this a good time to talk?” I looked up after hearing the sand shuffle behind me. Lucas came over and sat down next to me. I mouthed ‘one minute’ to him, and he nodded.

“Of course. What can I help you with?”

“I know we were not expecting you to come to NY for a couple more weeks, but we were wondering, if we supply housing and transportation and an upfront pay, if you would be able to come down here by the end of the week, say, 2 days?”

“I uh---”

“I know its short notice, but something came up and we could really use an extra set of hands.”

“I understand, I can make something work. I will be there, I just need to talk to my brother and my friends, they were supposed to come up with me.”

“Oh no worries! The housing has 4 rooms, and it is all yours and we will send enough to cover all expenses, but it is imperative that you be here by Monday afternoon, 12 pm. I can have your flights leave tomorrow afternoon; I am having my assistant book them now as we speak. The flight will leave at 4 pm and you will arrive at 11pm. I know it’s late, but it was last minute. I will have a car pick you and your crew up and take you to the house”

“Oh wow, that is very generous Mr. Daly. Yes I will be there. Thank you for the call.”

“Until then Alena.” And he disconnected the call.

I looked over to Lucas who was next to me, a sad look in his eyes. “You still planning on going to NY with us right? I got us a flight tomorrow around 4pm and a place to live and everything.” I said excitedly.

He didn’t look at me. He looked to the sand, using his fingers to draw random shapes. He let out a huge sigh “I can’t go.”

“Oh, I know it’s short. I can get you a ticket later so you can take care of things here.”

“No, I don’t think you understand. I cannot go with you three to NY. This is what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What’s going on Luke?”