Apprentices: First Quarter

Forgiven

My footsteps echo around the hallways as I walk towards the dorms. I don’t know what the time is, but I know it’s after my curfew. I hope I don’t meet any patrols, or else I’m in trouble. I can’t wait to shower and go to sleep. It was a long day. I’ll go talk to my friends tomorrow. I hope they’ll understand.

I breathe out in relief as I finally reach the door of my bedroom, inserting the key and turning it as silently as I can. It clicks loudly, making me cringe. So much for sneaking back in my room. But as I step in and turn on the lights, I almost let out a scream. I stop myself in the last second.

I close the door behind me as quickly as I can, murmuring the spell that blocks all sounds in and out. My friends are all gathered in my tiny room, patiently waiting for me to come back. They’re all staring at me in a serious way, making me gulp nervously. I feel like a five-year-old, who did something bad.

Glancing around the room, I realize Beelzebub is oddly trusting with Marcus. She’s sitting next to him, letting him pet her. Well, that’s new. She only peeks through her eyelids slightly as she sees me, not bothering to come towards me. Why do I even have a cat? Just to feed her apparently.

“We were worried sick,” Katie remarks, and I can’t help but notice a slight wavering of her voice. She isn’t lying. And I feel like she’s still angry with me. Of course, she is. I would be too. I can’t lie about that to myself, because I would probably act even worse. I can be quite resentful, and I don’t like that very much.

I let out a long breath, shaking my head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry … I … I just know that if I stayed with you … I would hurt someone. I couldn’t let that happen,” I finally admit, barely able to get the words out of my mouth.

My best friend’s lower lip trembles and she jumps from the bed, rushing towards me to wrap me in a tight hug. “Why wouldn’t you tell me? I could help you. I could be there for you. It hurts me that you thought you were alone in this,” she whispers, probably not wanting to risk her voice cracking if she spoke out loud.

I draw in a sharp breath, not knowing what to say to that. I pull away, making hurt flicker across her face. “Please, don’t take it personally. Strong emotions make me lose control,” I quickly whisper to explain myself. Then, I take a deep breath, addressing everyone in the room. “It’s … It’s complicated. You know this isn’t common … For some reason, the Elite don’t want this getting out. And I want you all to respect that.”

The boys all stare at me in a serious matter, none of them even blinking as Jake gets up, walking towards me slowly. I watch him carefully, not even noticing as Katie steps away.

“I give you my word as the future alpha of my father’s pack … We won’t say a word. You can trust us and count on us,” he declares solemnly, sounding so formal. In a normal situation, I would probably make fun of him a little. But now? I breathe out a sigh of relief, walking towards him to wrap my arms around his waist.

“Thank you,” I mumble into his chest. “And I’m sorry for running away like that earlier … I would never forgive myself if I hurt you,” I then add, making him squeeze me harder, pressing me tightly against his muscular body.

“Evy, I know you would never do that. But I understand you’re afraid. I’m here to help you with anything you need,” he murmurs into my hair, running his hand up and down my back to comfort me. It sends shivers down my spine, in a pleasant way.

I don’t know how long we all stay there, talking things out. But as my friends leave, I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I don’t know how this might turn out, but I’m glad I approached Kir about this. And that he helped me understand what comes with my decision. I’m lucky that my friends didn’t resent me for keeping secrets from them.

We’re free of lessons the next day because it’s meant for us to visit our deceased ancestor’s graves. It’s a tradition I’m not very familiar with. When I was a kid, my aunt used to take me with her on this day, but all the years since then, we were never together on this day.

Everyone else usually leaves the Seminary, leaving very few students behind to stay. Supernaturals bury their dead outside the walls of the Seminary because we don’t have enough space. And it would be a little creepy, having a graveyard next to a school.

We have a small joined memorial place, where we can remember the people that left us, but not many go there on this day. I don’t exactly know why I’m heading there myself. Maybe it’s because I finally learned the truth about how my grandparents died … I want them to know that I’m thinking of them, even if their souls are forever trapped in that horrible state.

As I turn the corner to get to the memorial place, I suddenly stop in my tracks. I have to rub my eyes to check if I’m seeing right, but I am. There’s no mistake here. I’m not alone. There’s a girl with raven black hair, staring at the names, written on the stone. As she turns around and makes eye contact with me, we both freeze.