Chasing After Ashes

Chapter 5: Differences

As much as I did not want to admit it, Tate’s hand in mine made it possible to calm the continuous spikes of anxiety and fear after that ancient anger rose to the surface again after quite a while. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I finally had my feet on the ground after surfing the waves of confusion and a few other conflicting emotions these past few months.

However, it was not why I kept my hand in his as he started talking pack business with Wendell and the Louve whose name apparently was Sofia Bedell. Tate had a plan, I was sure of it with how he suddenly took over the conversation and smoothly moved us from the fight which had occurred to what they were originally going to discuss.

Additionally, every time he sensed I was about to ask a question or he heard my sneakers softly tapping the floor in impatience, he would squeeze my hand in what I could only assume was reassurance that he would explain himself later when we were far away from this pack.

Deciding to trust him this once since he had steered us away from further violence, something which I had thoroughly enjoyed and if given the chance would still do in a second, I half-heartedly listened to their conversation.

I kept on drifting in and out of listening to them, my mind jumping from subject to subject, never settling as I wondered about what happened in the months I had been out of touch with reality. The day after the k********g where Illia was immediately taken back to his pack in Bromsdale, I heard he instructed Caden and another member of his pack to imprison Gabe and the rest of the Rosewood wolves.

However, the memory that day when I had reached the top of the stairs, the coppery scent of blood completely filling the air, and the dozens of bodies lying on the ground was imprinted on me. How many of my relatives had died then? Not that I want them to, but were any of them able to escape from the revenge the others had taken for all they had done?

It was like a thorn had been removed from my lungs, making me breathe easier knowing the culprits for the massacres of thousands of werewolves got what they deserved, were getting it, or whatever had happened to them after I had recused myself from the world. Too much. Too many problems, complications, plots and plans on top of each other with the heavy weight of the truth of my beloved family and pack being the sole cause for the destruction of others.

I understood all of it, why I had fallen into a chasm of despair I could not have pulled myself out of on my own accord. Had it not been for the stinging pain of Rastor’s words, I probably would still be living like the world had ended and I was simply waiting to turn into dust and be blown by the wind.

Still, I could not fully wrap my head around the truth. It was a hard pill to swallow, one where I knew there would still be a bitter aftertaste once I did because I sure as hell did not believe it was the whole truth.

Gabe had been too confident when he was telling me about it, and if I really knew how people acted, it was not the only trick he had up his sleeve if he was acting that way. There were bound to be more, I was sure of it.

Discovering if there was something more to the pack I believed was good in nature sent a thrill of excitement coursing through my veins laced with a tinge of fear. I had been caught unaware, not knowing what to expect when I finally found out the truth about my family before. However this time, I would be coming in prepared.

The possibilities were endless as to what other secrets this pack was holding, and since the worst of the worse—I think it was—had already been revealed, then it could only get better from here, wouldn’t it?

A hand gripped mine tighter, pulling me out of my thoughts. Tate was speaking, his voice in its usual low baritone. Since I had been in and out of dreamland, I only noticed he had leaned back on the chair, resting his right feet on his left leg, the perfect picture of an easygoing and laidback leader. Yet there was no doubt he was a dangerous wolf as every muscle in his body screamed his strength. Even while he seemed relaxed, nobody could mistake he could attack the others without much difficulty if he was provoked.

Much as I did not like his personality and how irritating he was, it was like a cover had been removed from my eyes and I could understand why others respected him, more than that he was the son of an Alpha.

“...then it is settled. We’ll exchange wolves for a few weeks two months from now.”

Sofia’s carefully blonde waves moved as she bobbed her head in agreement. “Yes, we will be in contact for this but we will probably see each other soon,” she said, eyeing me.

I raised an eyebrow at her but did not say anything. Things were wrapping up and we were about to leave, so no need to rile things up by actually saying something which would possibly make them stay longer.

Wendell who sat beside her in the booth lifted a corner of his lips in a smirk, immediately making me tighten my fists in anger. He truly did not get how lucky he was I did not use even half of my strength to beat him up earlier; and now that he was in the presence of his Louve and I sat in front of them kn silence, he was acting all high and mighty like he had the smallest chance of winning against me.

Heels clacked against the floor loudly, making me snap my head toward Sofia who was now standing beside the booth. Wendell scooched out of the booth and stood beside her with Assistants 1 and 2 standing behind them. She nodded her head at Tate, threw a disgusted look at me, before she left for the door with her minions following suit.

A few heavy seconds of silence passed as Tate and I remained sitting in the booth, staring as the door swung shut. Finally, I thought, sighing heavily that they were gone. Despite pushing the fury which tasted ancient, removing it as far away from the normal boiling anger I generally felt for people, I felt it lurking at the corners of my mind. Waiting and waiting for a c***k in my mental barricade that it could use to pry me open and overwhelm me.

Wait, why does my hand feel warm? I looked down, my eyes widening as I did when I realized Tate still held my hand. I quickly removed it from his and stood, hoping I did not seemed as panicked as I felt.

“Let’s go,” I said and walked out, heading to the car without waiting for him.

I felt his stare boring a hole in my back as I got to the car, him following a few paces behind me. The car sounded twice as he pressed the car key in his hand, signaling it was already opened. I got in, belting myself in, and quickly turning my head to face out the side window so I would not be able to see his face

Much like the earlier drive, silence filled the car, weighing heavy in the air around us. It was so thick it could have been cut with a knife as he pulled off and started driving. I knew what he was going to say, what with all the glances and glares he gave me earlier when I was defending myself from that disrespectful Wendell. There was not one bit of regret in me from everything I had done today, except maybe actually taking his hand like the i***t I was and forgetting I was holding it even after I had calmed down and the other pack left.

Stupid, stupid! I thought, inwardly chastising myself for letting myself show an inch of vulnerability in front of him. He would take advantage of that moment of weakness to push through and annoy me again how I should just accept being mates with him, like he had done before I had been kidnapped. Definitely. He would definitely do this.

A hand touched my shoulder, making me stiffen immediately. As I did, I caught sight of the outside and saw we had already arrived at the Alcatrozz mansion. Gooseflesh rose on my skin as I shrugged his hand off and got out of the car, not because his hand felt disgusting, but because the warmth of it sent pleasant shivers down my spine. Not wanting to get into that particular thought, I rushed out of there quickly and started walking fast to get inside the house as soon as possible.

“Evangeline, wait!” he yelled as he opened the car door and yelled after me.

I quickened my pace, needing to place a wide distance between us before I kicked the hell out of him for cursing me with these pleasant shivers I had been experiencing, from him of all people! Slamming the wide front doors behind me, I hurried upstairs to where my room was. Elizabeth had not wanted me to be alone after waking up from the nightmare which had held me hostage for months, which was why as soon as she could, she transferred all my belongings from my cottage to one of the second-floor bedrooms.

Speaking of…I thought, passing by her as I fast-walked to my room, placing a hand in my pocket to get the key of my room out. She was holding a bunch of papers in her hand as she closed the door of her office. “Hi Elizabeth. Bye Elizabeth,” I said as I got to the room of my door and jammed the key in.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” she said as I heard heavy footsteps thudding up the stairs. “Oh.” I glanced to where he was going to appear at the end of the hallway, my heart running a mile per second as the key refused to turn in the lock.

Tate’s blonde brows were furrowed together in anger, his eyes a becoming a darker shade of emerald I didn’t often see. His footsteps hit the floor heavier than they usually was, sounding a little like a stomping bull, a surefire way of telling how angry he was.

Quickly I turned back to the door in front of me, cursing the key to all the layers of hell because it couldn’t do its job properly in the moments it was needed the most. Then I felt his presence behind me, a searing heat that would have scalded and burned off my skin the longer I stood in front of it.

“Well, I will leave you guys be,” Elizabeth’s voice was a background noise I couldn’t pay attention to, not with the blazing heat of the sun behind me, demanding to be faced.

I squared my shoulders, not wanting to act any more like a submissive fool who was afraid of confrontations as turned to face him. Although as I did and saw how ticked off he was, there was a small thought inside me that wished I had been a less dominant wolf. Because if I was, then I could have hidden under that truth.

But I wasn’t a weak wolf. Much as I wanted nothing more than just to lie in the darkness of my own room in contemplation of everything that had occurred today, putting off having to explain my actions to someone as inconsequential as Tate, I knew this was going to happen. So it was useless to put it off longer than I could, just because it was Tate I had to talk to about the possible consequences of my actions.

“Do you realize how stupid you acted today?” he bit out in anger, making every word sound like its own sentence.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “No, I did not realize how stupid I was acting. Probably because I wasn’t acting stupid,” I emphasized before continuing, “in any way or form.”

“You placed yourself in a dangerous situation headfirst after I told you to hold yourself back, no matter what happened!” he shouted.

A vein of fury appeared on my temple as I crossed my arms in front of me. “I agreed, and I would have dutifully been the submissive wolf you had to bring along to that meeting if weak s**t had not been so bold as to actually challenge me.”

“He did not know who you were Evangeline. You know, they would not have known because nobody could cover their scents or make themselves seem weaker than you. Nobody knows what you look like other than this pack and the Reons pack, so they did not know who you were, until you went and basically announced it to them!”

“Stop yelling you fricking buffoon,” I spat out, taking a step toward him. “And you know what? He did know. Somehow he knew because no one, not even someone like me who is ignorant of the dozens of protocols in this society, knows that he would not have looked at me with surety in his eyes if he had only thought I was a submissive wolf. No, he would have ignored me and focused on you, but he didn’t do that, did he?”

Thoughts and emotions flitted past his emerald eyes until settling on one I couldn’t distinguish as he closed his eyes and sighed. “No, he wouldn’t have done that if he hadn’t known.”

Satisfied at winning that argument, I stepped back from him, thinking the conversation was over when his next words stopped me in my tracks. “But you still should not have acted that way. You placed yourself in a dangerous situation without thinking about it and who knows what would have happened if you had been allowed to continue beating Wendell up.”

Slowly, I raised my head at him in disbelief at what he was saying. “So…you are telling me that when he attacked me first, I should have just let him beat the s**t out of me without doing a thing about it?” As I spoke, my voice became lower and lower as I tried with everything I had to hold myself back from screaming at him.

He sighed in frustration, raising a hand to brush back the blonde curls which had fallen over his eyes. “No, that’s not what I meant. There were more than a dozen ways you could have handled that situation today Evangeline, but you didn’t. Instead, you went about a whole other way into something that would have more consequences we have no way of controlling. And that’s not even including the stories that would spiral out of this.”

“Whatever the result of what I did today, I will handle it. No need to worry yourself about it. Wendell was a disrespectful little thing who had to be punished for attacking me even after he knew I was more dominant than him. No matter how you look at it, he was in the wrong and that would be enough of a reason for what I did.”

He was quiet for a few seconds before he said, “For someone who doesn’t know much about werewolf protocols, you do know how to twist them into your advantage.”

“I know enough to survive and that’s all that matters, doesn’t it?”

“No, not really. Not if you want people to respect you, and not just fear you, Eve.”

“Do not call me Eve. You and I aren’t that close for you to start giving me nicknames, and we never will be. Also, who the hell cares what they think about me? They can do whatever they want and it wouldn’t matter one bit. Even if they all joined together to attack me, I am sure it wouldn’t be much of a sweat to defeat them.”

“I can’t believe you’re being like this,” Tate said, shaking his head with a pensive look on his face as he stared at me.

“Do I look like I care?” I asked before turning around, twisting the key successfully in its slot and heading inside my room, not bothering to hear what his response was.

There were too many things to think about, too many things which have yet to be solved, and too many players pulling their own strings to get what they wanted, for me to bother about being respected by others. Even if I acted like I did before where I took into account how others thought or at the very least, factored them into the equation, it wouldn’t serve me well.

In fact, if my memory served me right, I had gained nothing by thinking about others first. Well, I had gained something, only to lose it quickly when they realized I was related to the culprits of their pack’s m******e.

I shook my head, refusing to think about the Reons’ pack anymore. It wouldn’t do me any good after all. Just like helping people first and not prioritizing myself wasn’t good, which was why I knew it didn’t matter if I knew about werewolf and other species’ laws. It didn’t matter simply because I was putting myself first, above all else.

I didn’t need the others’ respect. They could ignore me again for all they wanted, but this time, I wasn’t going to be pushed down. The things I could do, awkward, unconventional things, surely have had circulated by word of mouth now and who knew how many people had taken it into themselves to form opinions based on hearsay.

I was glad I didn’t care anymore, because even if I did, it wouldn’t help one bit. Imagining myself correcting everyone I would have encountered on the false rumors and other details to the story which would have been spread around, wouldn’t have amounted to any sort of success. People were going to believe whatever they wanted to believe, no matter how wrong they were about it.

If I had been who I was before, no matter how futile my efforts would have been, I knew I would have tried. However, it was as clear as day I wouldn’t be able to put to rest any rumors made about me, no matter how wrong or ridiculous it sounded since I couldn’t control people. So, they could fear me all they want and it would be okay. It only meant they would be staying out of my way and I would have more time to actually sort out the never-ending storm inside me.

However, as I sat on the bed, I couldn’t help but felt guilty at the gnawing disappointment I knew Tate felt about my disagreeing with him on this subject.

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This is Book 2 of the Rosewood Trilogy if you aren't sure. Book 1 (Alpha, Do I Know You?) link is here: https://www.dreame.com/novel/1964802.html

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