I'm Forbidden To Love You

Chapter 12

He sneezed for what seemed like the umpteenth time.

Ryan cuddled against one of the countless pillows around him. His bed was huge enough to have multiple pillows.

When he roamed around for months outside of the castle, there were few things he missed about being a Prince, and one was his bed.

This bed was custom-made for him personally.

Ryan had a large and elaborate wooden bed that was huge in size compared to even his mother’s bed. He didn’t want to compromise on his bed as he had trouble sleeping as a child, so his father had brought the bed makers from foreign countries to custom-made it for him.

His father didn’t expect him to be this picky about choosing the bed. Ryan wanted a feather bed, soft and light under his body when he lay down on it.

This was the place he liked the most in his castle, his room.

His bed had ornamented canopies, finely crafted embroidery work on the crimson-colored hangings that contrasted the featherbed under the white silk sheets.

The headboard of mahogany wood with ash veneer, surrounded by frames enhancing the woodwork with a palmette motif.

Ryan felt silly now, thinking how his younger self spent days coming up with a design for this. But, he was strangely attached to it even as a grown-up.

Now was probably not the time to reminisce about his childhood, but his mind was hazy with how hot his body felt.

Anyone might have probably guessed by now that he has gotten a fever and cold.

Well, maybe, he shouldn’t have danced in the rain for hours.

Okay, okay, it was his fault.

Norman tried to drag him away, but he had not listened to his friend Nora and decided to fool around in the rain for a while, even after he fell.

He was thoroughly soaked, and he had made Nora to spend time with him in the rain even though Ryan knew his friend Nora didn’t like the rain.

That was probably why Ryan was being punished.

It has been three days since he danced around in the rain. The day before yesterday, he was sneezing, and yesterday, he was down with fever, scaring his mother, and today, he was ordered to rest in bed till he got fine.

His mother had called for the royal physicians to check upon him. They had informed his mother that it was just a normal fever and he would be alright in a few days, giving him medicine and advising him to rest.

His mother had ordered his Knights to not let him out of the room until he got better and went away to comfort his sister, Joy, that he was alright.

Joy visited him this morning, a few meters away from his bed, while their mother looked at them with sharp eyes. Mother had banned Joy from being near him, not wanting her to catch his fever.

Even Ryan didn’t want Joy near him, not wanting her to suffer. Mother, too, stayed away from him, not wanting to get his fever as she had important tea parties and gatherings in the coming days.

Ryan had comforted his sister, telling her that she was fine and that he will meet her after he was alright.

He knew Joy was very worried about him and looked as if she was going to hug him, but she stopped from doing that, afraid of their mother.

They had exited his room while the guards waited outside his chamber, guarding it. Only maids were allowed in to bring him food and things he wanted. Servants would wash him up with a wet cloth if he wished to, but he didn’t want that.

Ryan felt bored out of his mind….

And above all, he felt lonely.

He wanted someone just to hug him and hold him, caress him to sleep. Even his own mother avoided him, not wanting to get his cold and fever. He cannot fault her. But he wished someone would just hug him tight.

If only….

Ryan sighed, knowing that he was touch starved, affection starved, and all sort of starving for love. Usually, he ignored it, but when he gets sick, he would be very clingy and depressed.

Ryan hoped that he would get better soon, for he wanted to meet her.

God! He missed her; he didn’t want to miss the day they were supposed to meet.

He missed her so much that it felt like he won’t recover from his fever as it only made him ill.

He missed her scent…

He missed her turquoise eyes…

He missed her smile…

He missed the way she teased him…

He missed her so much…

Why cannot she be with him all the time?

Why didn’t he be born a commoner so he could spend his days with her?

Why was he born a Prince?

Just as his thoughts wandered on depressing things, he dozed off and on with how hazy his mind seemed with fever.

He was suddenly jolted awake after few minutes by the knock on the door.

“Come in.”

His throat hurt that made his voice hoarse.

His chamber had three rooms, a living room to greet guests, and another room held all his possessions, while the last one was the bedroom with a bathroom.

Maids and servants usually kept the food on the table in the living room while his clothes and things were maintained in another room.

His family alone visited his bedroom, and for someone to knock on his bedroom door was strange. Maybe, a new servant had been appointed for the day shift.

“Whatever it is, keep them on the table.”

Hearing footsteps, Ryan sighed, hearing them leave, not in the mood to see anyone.

Just as he closed his eyes to sleep, he heard the footsteps nearing him,

“I told you to stay th…”

Ryan gaped aloud, seeing Zelda here.

Had he gone mad with fever?

Or was he hallucinating?

Zelda, who was in the outfit of Avera’s castle maids’ uniform, a black and white maid outfit with a wimple, covering her head and partially her face.

“Should I leave then, Prince Ryan?”

Her words in a teasing voice jolted him awake from his daze.

“Zelda, what? Why? I mean, how are you here?”

“Well, I heard that you were not well, so I sneaked in to see you. What kind of friend I will be if I didn’t come and see you when you’re sick?”

“Zelda.”

God!

He didn’t know what he did to get her in his life. He felt like tearing up in happiness and dance around.

No, no dancing.

Dancing around had led him here. He cannot risk getting sick again. He had to get better.

How was she here anyway?

What if someone found her? How will she escape from the head maid who looked over all the maids in the palace? Their friendship was already risky. Even though he wanted her to be near him, he cannot risk her life.

She was way more important than anything.

“Zelda, why did you come here?”

“Don’t you want me here, Prince Ryan?”

Her downcast eyes and pout were way more cute than they had any right to be. No, he cannot be distracted by that. He mustered his strength and sat up, leaning his back against the headboard, moving his body to the corner of the bed.

“No, Zelda, I didn’t mean like that. What if someone saw you? How could you risk everything to come here?”

“How could you risk everything to befriend a maid, a slave Prince Ryan?”

Ryan didn’t know what answer to give her questions.

“I… Zelda…”

“Relax, Prince Ryan; there was a shortage of maids in the castle with so many guests here. And, one of the castle maids I knew also got sick along with some others. They had requested the help of other foreign maids. So, I grabbed this chance when I heard you were not well. I came here. That’s all.”

“You… You…”

“What is it, Prince Ryan?”

“Zelda, you….”

“Should I not have come here?”

Her sad eyes tugged his heart like a musical instrument played by a good musician.

“No, Zelda. I cannot express how happy I am that you have come here. But, I don’t want your life at risk.”

“I wanted to see you, Prince Ryan.”

Ryan didn’t know how to respond to her anymore. His brain had stopped working.

He didn’t understand her.

When he first met her, she had run away. And the few times after that too, she had run away without reason. Now, she was here standing in front of him, risking everything just to see him when he was sick.

His heart was beating crazily with how much she risked seeing him. He wanted to hug her tightly and never let go, but he didn’t want her to catch his fever.

Suddenly, he started coughing, heaving for breath.

God! He hated being sick.

He hated this.

He felt a hand rubbing his back, easing his coughs. Ryan’s eyes widened at her proximity.

When I want you near, you run away.

When I want you to stay away, you come closer than anyone.

Ryan weakly pushed her away, yet; she stayed near him.

“Zelda, stay away from me. I don’t want you to get my fever.”

“No, I won’t get it, Prince Ryan. Don’t worry about me. You lay down, okay?”

She helped him to lie on the bed and arranged the blankets over him neatly.

How can she come near him, knowing he was sick when his own mother refused to come near him?

He didn’t want her to become ill because of him.

“How can you be so sure of it, Zelda? I would feel guilty if you caught my fever too.”

“No, Prince Ryan, as a child, I had rarely had cold and fever.”

“Rarely doesn’t mean never.”

Zelda rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head.

“I didn’t come here to argue, Prince Ryan. I just wanted to check on you. I got worried thinking you got sick because of me that day when I kept you late, and you probably were caught in the rain.”

“It was not because of you, Zelda. I played in the rain.”

She looked at him with shock, those turquoise eyes looking even more beautiful when they were brimming with emotions.

“You shouldn’t play like that, Prince Ryan.”

“Okay, Okay. Don’t glare at me like that, Zelda. I won’t do it again.”

“I.. I wasn’t glaring at you, Prince Ryan. I am sorry if it offended you.”

“No, no. I like the way you behave with me.”

“No, Prince Ryan, I don’t want to cross the line. So, please tell me if I took a step wrong.”

“Don’t be stupid, Zelda. We’re friends. That means we don’t have any boundaries between us.”

“I…. Why do you want to be my friend when you can befriend anyone, Prince Ryan?”

How could he answer that?

How?

How could he explain how much he wants to be close to her? How can he explain this nameless feeling he feels towards her?

“Just…”

She looked at him, gesturing him to continue, but he pretended to cough. She immediately rubbed his back, grabbing the water glass nearby and helping him drink it.

The cold water felt nice against his sore throat. The hand on his back, along with her concerned eyes, made him realize that it wasn’t that bad to be sick.

He was feeling tired and felt drowsy. He wanted to rest, but he wanted her to stay a little longer. As if recognizing his sleepy look, she said,

“I am sorry, I have to go, Prince Ryan, before someone comes in wondering what the maid is doing in your room this long. I will speak to you some other day. I hope you will get well soon.”

Ryan grabbed her hands in panic, tugging her towards him, not wanting her to leave this soon. She imbalanced and fell on the bed where he was lying.

He caught her waist, not wanting her to get hurt.

Sparks of lightning went through his nerves at the way their skin met. Her cool body felt amazing against his blazing skin.

“Can’t you stay a little while, Zelda?”

Her eyes were so close to him that he could see specks of silver in them, making him forget everything for a moment with its beauty.

Hearing no answer from her, he repeated again,

“Can’t you stay here a little more, Zelda?”

She caressed his hair with a hesitating hand.

It seemed she was not used to their difference in status yet.

He closed his eyes at that contact, wanting to stay like this forever.

“I can’t, Prince Ryan. I am sorry. Someone will come soon, so I have to go. And, I could see that you are also sleepy, so, take rest. Okay?”

He nodded reluctantly, and his eyes closed, not able to open them anymore as his body was tired.

Ryan gave in to sleep, not knowing that Zelda had left the room. He had a smile even in his sleep as he was happy and didn’t feel lonely anymore.

~~~~~

Elvira looked outside the window, not in the mood to admire the weather or the beautiful view the window offered.

The sun dipped below the horizon, yet she felt the sunlight against her face. It didn’t bring any warmth to her soul.

As the sunset, the last rays of light tried to turn the sky yellowish-orange, as if some creative painter had used those two colors to create a new one.

In this rainy season, a sunny day like today was a blessing to everyone. As if to thank the sun, the birds were flying across the sky, biding the sun bye.

The enormous statues of some of the mighty Kings of Avera could be seen from her son’s room. The garden below, the fountain, the view of sunset didn’t capture her attention like they did years before.

She looked outside of the window until the last rays of sunlight disappeared behind the horizon, slowly covering the world with darkness.

Tantalizing smell waffles up to where she was, indicating the royal cooks had started their dinner preparation.

Elvira was first fascinated with nature when she came here after her marriage. Everything fascinated her at first, but as years passed, she longed for her home sometimes.

She hadn’t once left Avera, nor did she wish to leave Avera, for this was home now, and this country had her family.

Elvira Burton, the lady that ruled Avera’s castle with her intelligent mind. Many knew not to cross her path. Servants and maids alike trembled at her glare. She ruled the castle with an iron fist

As a King, her husband’s brother had many things to look at, just like her husband, who was the chief minister of Avera, had many places to be and many responsibilities on his shoulder.

They didn’t have time to look over the castle. Usually, the responsibility fell upon the queen. Since the queen had passed away, the responsibility was given to her by the Majesty himself. And, she had happily accepted it.

She had been the Crown Princess in her birth country, and she was being bored out of mind after coming here. So, the new responsibility was a blessing for her. And she loved the power she held on over anyone. The only lady in the royal family who held much power, only next to the queen, and she enjoyed it.

The games the relatives played with her, the subtle power shifts in the castle, Elvira loved to be on top of all of them, fooling them, guiding them where she wanted like a chess piece.

That was why she was failing in this.

Looking at her son, Ryan sleeping soundly raised worry in her, unlike other times when she looked at him and felt proud over her son.

It felt like she was failing as a mother.

Ryan….

Ryan Burton….

The first child of hers.

The one who changed her from a woman to a mother.

When did things go wrong?

Looking at him, she felt like she didn’t know her son anymore. Maybe, she should have taken time off from her duties and looked after him growing up.

She could tell that her son Ryan felt like he would fly away if he had the chance. She could remember how he looked at their customs sometimes.

Where had she gone wrong?

She should have maybe gotten more involved in his life and studies. She didn’t want her daughter, Joy, to be like her son too. That was why she kept her eyes on Joy all the time.

Something happened.

No, not when he left the castle for almost a year and roamed around like a commoner, living off in jungles and villages. She had heard rumors of her son aiding the villagers in difficult situations and how he had helped to imprison most of the bandits.

Yes, something had happened.

But not while he was away but something that had definitely made him leave this castle.

She knew her son enough to know that he wasn’t the one to roam around while he had responsibilities here. He was just a teenager before he went away.

He returned like an adult now, with an air of grace and maturity. She wanted him to grow out of his childishness, but she didn’t want him to become someone she cannot recognize anymore.

What had made him leave the castle for a year?

What had driven him away?

She had used her maids to spy all over the castle, creating a web for the foolish preys. Even using the spy network she created, she didn’t hear anything that would make her son leave the castle.

She cannot thank whatever God for listening to her prayers enough when he returned to the castle, their home. It was because of Ryan’s father, who finally unleashed his own people to search for their son and found him few weeks before he sent that letter to Ryan so he would come on his own accord.

She hadn’t realized how much her son changed until she saw how upset he became that day when she had slapped her personal maid that day for her foolishness.

He had never bothered with these things before, but she could see the outrage in him at the unfairness. He had hidden his expressions but not quick enough to hide from her sharp eyes.

Kind…

Her son was terribly kind, and she didn’t know how he became humble enough to sympathize with a maid of all people.

And the fight with some Prince Hoich only increased her suspicions.

After that, she had been informed by the servant who looked after the southern gardens that he had seen Prince Ryan willingly staying under the rain for hours.

What had happened to her son?

The morning only, he seemed miserable, but after noon, he seemed like he had found heaven in the earth despite him being sick.

She cannot predict his actions anymore, and she was becoming more worried as every day passed by.

What had changed?

How can she get her son back?