10
Rue
Like a light switch turning on, I’m awake. Breathing hard, my body twisted in the damp sheets, my hands clawing at the bed. It takes a few seconds for everything to normalize, for the sensation of F’s heavy breath on my neck to recede.
I turn on my side, aware of the soft mattress beneath my body. The hazy early morning light is just beginning to creep in through the massive white-curtained windows of the bedroom. Eventually, my muscles unclench, my hands sore from gripping the mattress so hard.
My mind shifts first to prayer, as it has been taught to do for so many years now. I get off the bed, kneeling and genuflecting. I make the sign of the cross, mumbling the words with numb lips.
Deepen our faith, Lord God,
as we celebrate the great mystery of the incarnation
by which y
