Haden Merrick

Chapter Four

Chapter Four - My Head Hurts, Dumb Ass

          ''Shut up!'' The sound of my alarm going off causes me to push onto the nearest thing beside me but instead of hearing something break, I hear the sound of someone groaning in pain. My eyes widen immediately before sitting up to find Joanne laying flat on the ground with her hair all over the place but what bothers me most is the sight of her body, ''s**t. Joanne, are you okay? Why are you n***d?''

          ''You, imbecile woman.'' Joanne turns to glare at me, clutching the sheets to cover up her bare body.

          Within seconds, she's already walking out of my bedroom with the sheets wrapped around her body without even bothered by the smudged mascara underneath her eyes. If I'm being hundred percent honest, I'd say Joanne looks like a panda minus the fat in her body. Then again, that's the Joanne I know, the one who doesn't care what other people think as long as he's content with her life—she'd do whatever if she's up for it, that is what makes her Joanne.

          My alarm goes off again, letting me push it off the ground. ''Shut up, damn it.''

          It doesn't take me long to be standing in front of my bedroom door, finding Seth standing near the kitchen counter as he drinks a glass of juice. My eyes wander down to the sight of his abs before looking back up at him; seeing his hair going in different directions and his presence somewhat smells like alcohol and crazy people which causes me to gag in disgust, grabbing his attention. ''Morning, B.''

          As soon as he walks away, ''Good riddance. You smell awful,''

          Seth turns to look at me before smelling himself, ''Don't play that card. You smell f*****g terrible as well if you haven't noticed,''

          ''I will regret this for the rest of my life,'' I groan in frustration as I make my way towards the couch right next to Seth, joining him. One of his arm goes over the couch to carefully rest on my shoulder while the other continues to hold onto the glass of juice, bringing it closer to his lips. It feels like something happened last night but my mind won't cooperate to refresh those memories and I don't know if it was anything too strong or too distant but it sure does feel like this person right next to me is involved. Then again, he looks completely innocent and dumb.

          ''What are you looking at, Belle? You're pissing me off and my head hurts, dumb ass.'' He glares, shaking his head.

          ''Why are you blaming me for your irresponsible behaviour? You were the one who kept coming back for the drinks,'' I immediately grab the glass away from his grasps before drinking it empty, causing Seth's eyes to pierce into my own. ''What? What's yours is mine, remember?'' I tease him by running my index finger across his cheek, making him grab my wrist to stop me.

          Both of his eyes wander down to my body before looking directly into my hazel ones and at this exact moment, it feels as if my memories are coming back. The sight of his eyes focusing into my own reminds me of a certain moment where it all happened after we shared something, was it drinks? Was it food? It sure does feel like I shouldn't be forgetting such thing. it sure does feel important. If so, why does Seth acts like nothing happened and I'm just being a fool out of myself?

          ''Don't touch me with that finger. God knows where that has been,'' He pushes my hand away before standing up to walk straight ahead towards the kitchen, leaving me laughing on the couch. ''You know, Mirabel—did I ask the same question over and over again yesterday because it sure does feel like I did?''

          ''To be completely honest with you, I don't remember.'' I shake my head, trying to recall.

          ''Right, we were both pretty drunk last night. How did we get home, anyway?'' He asks, leaning the side of his arm on against the wall while we both stare at each other, dumbfounded. It's pretty sure that none of us could've drove home last night because of how messily drunk we were but how did we get home? ''Did we get a designated driver or was it one of our friends?''

          I lean back, clapping my hands. ''We must've called an Uber,''

          ''Huh, that makes sense.'' He nods.

          Joanne steps out of the bathroom and walk straight ahead to where both Seth and I are, with the sheets still wrapped around her. ''So, did one of us had s*x last night or was it just in my dream?'' She asks, out of nowhere.

          Seth stands in front of her, ''You always have things to say in the most irrelevant situation.''

          ''Curiosity of the mind,'' She points at her head, grinning before taking a glass of water. ''Last night was pretty sick. Other than the fact that, I can't even remember much. What did they put in the drink anyway? Sure doesn't feel like normal alcohol,''

          ''If it's drugs, it's going to take three days for it to get out of our system.'' Seth replies.

          My mind wanders off to Haden, seeing him leans his head back as he laughs before turning to look at me. It feels as if I'm staring at a beautiful angel itself. Then, Seth appears out of nowhere, blocking my view with his blue eyes but suddenly being replaced with the familiar brown eyes again. It's like my memories are all over the place and nothing seems to be in the correct sequence with Seth and Haden being mixed into one, sure does feel like we've been drugged.

          ''s**t, I'm late.'' I run towards my bedroom, passing both Joanne and Seth. ''I can't be late!'' 

          ''f**k, are you pregnant?!'' Joanne exclaims, appearing in my bedroom with Seth trailing behind him. Both of them have their eyes wide as they turn to glance at each other while I throw my hands up in the air, feeling hopeless. Sometimes, it gets pretty stressful having two idiotic friends around but sometimes, it sure does feel fun teasing them.

          ''The last time I had s*x was five months ago,'' I roll my eyes.

          ''Oh, with Greg, right?''

          ''Reid.''

          ''What are you late for then?'' Seth asks this time, sitting on my bed as I continue to look for proper clothes to wear. Whenever I open my wardrobe, I'd find clothes. A lot of them. A lot of clothes that I have bought in the past to my liking but whenever I want to go somewhere for a certain event or run some errands, I'd look at them and think 'why aren't there any clothes to wear?' because I don't know what to wear. Nothing seems to be correct especially with my mind being surrounded with unwanted thoughts.

          ''I'm late for work. My part-time job, ring any bells?'' I raise an eyebrow, seeing both of them nodding their heads. ''Incase you two have forgotten, I don't exactly have money laying around on the floor for me. I've got to earn it,''

          ''I told you I can pay for your tuition this semester,'' Joanne responds, crossing her arms.

          ''You've helped enough, Joanne. Money is more than I can ask,'' Taking a plain shirt with a pair of skinny jeans, I throw them on the bed beside Seth. ''Now, can you guys please leave? I need to take a shower,'' Both of them make their ways out of my room and I take it as my moment to be fully n***d before wrapping a towel around my body to cover myself up, slowly making my way towards the bathroom.

          Just as I've entered the bathroom, I lock the door to only remember that the lock has been broken for the past two weeks but since only Joanne and I are living in this apartment, it's not much of an issue but it has got to be fixed before Seth moves in. So, it doesn't take me long to hop into the shower after I've brushed my teeth and cleansed my face—enjoying the warm water running down my body. I don't understand how people manage to take cold showers unless they need to, if you get what I mean but at times like this, warm showers are the best. They're a huge stress and pain reliever especially when having strained backs.

          It's good to just close my eyes and relax under the water without even needing a proper bath.

          ''Hey!'' My eyes widen at the sight of Seth standing n***d with only a towel wrapped around his waist beside me, ''Mind if I join you?''

          ''f**k! f**k! Seth, are you out of your mind?!'' I scream, covering my private parts with both of my hands but they seem to be showing through freely. Seth, on the other hand, keeps on glancing down at my body before slowly pushing me to the side after taking his towel off. ''No, Seth. What the hell are you doing in here? I'm taking a shower! I'm taking a shower in my bathroom! All by myself!'' I shout, groaning in frustration yet I don't bother turning around to look at him because I know if I turn around, I'll see his glory jingle.

          ''Relax, B. It's not like I haven't seen anything,'' He replies, letting the water run down his face.

          ''You're saying as if we've had explored my entire body before!''

          ''We can try, though.'' He winks, ignoring my attempts on pushing him out of the shower as he continues to shampoo his hair while I stay near the wall. It's as if I'm pushing my body into the wall rather than leaning against it with Seth's back bumping into mine constantly, it's the most uncomfortable moment of my life—not only standing n***d in the shower with him but having to have him n***d as well!

          ''You're gay. That's true but I'm not,'' I turn to glare at him but as soon as I catch the sight of his lower part, I immediately groan before looking away. ''Seth, this is making me really uncomfortable. You have no god damn idea,''

          ''Look, I'm in a hurry and you're in a hurry. There's only one bathroom so we would have to share,'' He turns around and I swear to god, I manage to slightly feel his unwanted part touching my butt. ''Oops, sorry. This shower is a bit hot, I'm feeling kind of steamy.''

          My eyes widen, ''No. Seth, no way. You can't be having a boner!''

          ''I'm not having a boner, Mirabel Raine Collins. If so, it's not because of you—don't worry about it.'' He chuckles, the sound of his chest vibrating makes me lean further against the wall before closing my eyes, feeling myself growing frustrated.

          ''I don't think I want you to move in. I can't deal having to share a shower with you every single f*****g day,'' I breathe, trying to calm myself down.

          ''We wouldn't be here in this situation if you had locked the door,''

          ''Why are you blaming me? The lock is broken.''

          ''You should really get it fixed. It's a bit dangerous to shower when you're home alone knowing that the lock is broken,'' He leans towards me before grabbing my cleanser, causing both of my eyes to widen as soon as I see him using it to cleanse his face. This man is unbelievable, he has got to be the most unrealistic man ever.

          ''Can you just be using anyone's cleanser?''

          ''You have the same as mine,'' He answers and as soon as I hear him turning off the shower, I turn to find him wrapping the towel around his waist with his back facing me.

          ''Can you leave now? Like, now.'' I feel like I've already attached myself onto the wall and with him only responding by chuckling, somehow makes my heart boil but not, at the same time. The sight of him leaving the bathroom eases me and I quickly wash myself up to avoid him getting inside here anymore, wanting to step out and get dressed as soon as possible.

          After getting dressed and put a minimal amount of makeup on my skin because I'd look dead without it. Plus, there are a few blemishes I'd want to cover, I walk out of my bedroom to find Seth sitting on the couch with his phone in hand—gazing up at me, ''Took you long enough. Let's go,'' He stands up, grabbing his car keys. ''Shocking to find this here as well. I don't think we called an Uber last night,''

          ''Um, where do you think you're going?''

          ''Dropping you off.''

          ''Why?''

          ''It's because he has to see his mother later,'' Joanne interrupts as she continues to eat her food on the kitchen counter, ''What can I say? He's a mama's boy.''

          ''Very funny, Joanne. You know that's not it,'' Seth pretends to laugh but he's only rolling his eyes in annoyance but Joanne finds it more than entertaining. Having to know Seth's mum from the beginning of our friendship, it's kind of obvious how she cares a lot about Seth. Since Seth is her only child and all. Both of his parents had a hard time conceiving and after being blessed with Seth, they were thrilled but they weren't that much happy when Seth came out . . . they stopped talking to him for a month.

          It's not mainly because he's gay but mostly because they'd know they wouldn't be able to have a grandchild unless through a surrogate or adoption. To think that if I'm into girls and my mum ever finds out about it, she'd run around the house chasing me with a crucifix. Then again, she's not that traditional. ''Let's just head out and I'll drop you off,'' Seth adds, growing annoyed with Joanne's teases.

          ''I can call an Uber. It's fine,'' I smile.

          ''What? You're being cold towards me now just because we showered together?''

          ''We didn't shower together!''

          ''We were n***d in the shower together.'' He responds, causing Joanne to throw her head back in laughters.

          ''You guys are really frustrating. For god's sake, B, just let Seth drop you off and you two can talk about n***d showers together in the car. I don't want to hear anything about it,'' She takes a bite of her bacon, clearly glancing at both Seth and I. ''God, just leave. You're going to be late for work and you, your mum is going to castrate you. Literally,''

          ''Whatever, I'm off. Bye, Jo.'' I kiss her on the cheek before making my way out of the apartment, putting on a pair of flats—hearing Seth following behind me but I pay no attention to turn around or walk with him. ''I can still call an Uber. You don't have to drop me off,''

          ''Why are you so eager to ride an Uber?'' Seth asks, heading straight towards his car as I stop. ''Here's my car over here. All nice and ready for you to hop in—I'm only asking you one more time. Can you get in the car, please? We're wasting time,'' He adds.

          Rolling my eyes in the process, I step into his car and before we know it, we're already heading to our destination or more likely, my destination. Seth's grip on the steering wheel is somewhat more relaxed as he focuses down the road and for someone who seems to not be in a good mood, he's doing a pretty good job at hiding it. It's easy how I notice about Seth especially with his hair is messily mopping on his head as if he had just taken a shower which is true but also with the darkness underneath his eyes due to lack of sleep.

          ''How's your mum?'' He asks, breaking the silence.

          ''Good. I called her last week,''

          Seth nods, ''That's great. Glad that she's good.''

          I turn to look at him, ''Yeah but she's not doing a good job at cooping with Ben's death. In fact, she's doing a shitty job at that. Every time I talk to her, I can't bring Ben up because it'd make her cry and it's awful because it's been two years since he died but I can't talk about how much I miss him. Not even to my own mum,''

          ''People coop with death differently, Belle. You did a good job at that—I'd praise you but it's only because you hate dwelling on the past. You hate waiting for something you know never going to happen. Ben's death was a shock and even though I'm not very close to him, I know how much he means to both you and your mum. He was a great guy,'' He replies after glancing at me for a few short seconds and to only focus back on the road.

          ''Yeah, he was always the brother of the year.'' I look down at my fingers, sighing.

          ''Give your mum some time. She'll come around,''

          ''It's funny how she's always religious and talking about how God is fair and good but when Ben died, she couldn't really believe what was happening. She was depressed and shocked. It was even harder for her. Can you believe it?'' Our eyes meet, ''For someone who truly believes in God, would end up doubting as soon as she lost someone—it was odd for me. I mean, she knows and I know that challenges are gifts from God to test us. She's just not there, you know? She's not there for me.'' I add.

          ''I'm here for you. Joanne's here for you,'' He replies. ''Anyone can lose their faith when they face something bad. Always being good and always believing in something but to have your hopes and dreams crushed, it'd hurt. I'm sorry that she's not there for you and I'm sorry that she's having a hard time trying to coop with how things are now but Ben died for the good reasons. As bad as it makes me feel saying that,''

          ''He could've gotten home, you know? I don't blame anyone or anything. It happened,''

          ''He died with honour, B.''

          ''He died trying to protect this country, Seth. I know and my mum knows the risks of being in the army. Believe it or not, I had prepared myself for the worst because nothing is fair in life—you'd expect it to be better but it gets bad. My mum's hurting the most because she didn't expect the worst, she didn't have time to prepare herself and I don't blame her. She had put her trust in God and that's good for her,'' I look away, out the window to count the cars passing by. ''I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's not what I want to do,''

          ''Okay. We don't have to talk about it,'' He replies.

          Just like that, the time passes by like it's nothing and just like that, we've arrived in front of Mr and Mrs. Jones home.

          ''I'll pick you up when you're done. Is it at five?'' He asks, eyes wandering to look around the neighbourhood as I put my phone and my purse inside my bag.

          ''Yeah, I'll call you.'' I smile, pecking onto his cheek before stepping out of the car and walking inside after the gate has been opened. With every step I take, I prepare myself to meet Mrs. Jones—not because I'm terrified of her but because I can't stand the look in her eyes. The sadness she shows is too vibrant and it's hard to deal with especially after knowing her son's condition.

          I knock on the door and within seconds, Mrs. Jones is already standing to welcome me in. ''Hi, Belle.''

          ''Hi, how are you?'' I ask, smiling.

          ''Good, good. How are you? You look a little bit tired,'' She manages to see the dark circle under my eyes just fine which causes me to shrug it off, knowing it was all because of partying last night—if only I didn't go, probably would've been sleeping like a baby.

          ''Good. Just a little tired from school,'' My respond is short and quick, not wanting to drag it on. ''How is Peter doing? Any progress?''

          ''Well, he's doing fine. Hasn't been much progress since his last one but I'm not surprised,'' She replies before gesturing for me to follow her upstairs, letting me eye around the house—Mr and Mrs. Jones are fabulously rich. It's a shame to acknowledge that their son, Peter, a young boy at the age of twelve fell into a coma after an accident at the park. He has been that way for almost a year now and it's devastating to see the look in her eyes whenever she looks at her son.

          Having a part-time job taking care of sick children is what I do. Knowing it's something I can do at both, my assignments while taking care of the kids at the same time is good. It's an easy job but the hospital pays off good money; good enough to make sure I pay my tuition every semester. To say the least, I'm like a paediatric nurse. ''He's doing well. That's good,''

          ''Yeah. Well, you know the things around the house—make yourself at home, if you're hungry, there's food in the fridge and you can just heat it up or if you want pizza, you can order some. You can do your homework or whatever it is you kids do in college nowadays and if there's anything you want to report or say, just call me. The basics, yeah?'' She says, making me nod at every word—it's not my first time here. In fact, it's my tenth time and being assigned to Peter is not a bad idea at all but it's saddening to be in the same room with a kid who barely has time to enjoy his life, in his condition.

          ''I'll just be here, Mrs. Jones.''

          ''Thanks, Belle. I'll leave you to it,'' She steps out of the room, leaving me to look at Peter who seems like he has been sleeping for months.

          It's odd how I chose microbiology as something to depend on and as something to discover but I'm more attracted to nursing, to taking care of kids and babies, it's like a new thing inside of me. For some reason, there's always calm and peace when being around these kids because they need hope, they need someone to rely on and it's something I can give. If not, temporary.