shadow of soulmate

It was the first time I saw him, his innocent stupid and flawed face looked mesmerizing to me. He seemed as if he was ready to conquer the world. He has air filled in his whole body and was ready to take off in the clouds. I could see him staring at me from the corner of his eyes But what escaping from everyone’s view. It was like a electric shock that reached every vein of my body. Mind is a very cruel part of the body, it’s very selfish. Those daysI was not into looking for someone to destroy my thoughts. I was not shy but always repelled from him because somewhere I knew that, he’s knitting thoughts for me. On a summer afternoon, I was standing in the breezy air in balcony and I saw him admiring me as if I am the only rose in the summer. I enacted to ignore him not to disturb his vision because I knew he would never surrender his feelings. Trying to be busy with my life , I discovered the roller coaster of heart and mind . Heart is weak and begging for love and care on the other away mind is focused ,practical and selfish. Two years of the life passed away thinking this and I Was in different phase of my life . Tears, smile, cry and laughter as if all the emotions had vanished from my life. I felt that my soul exist with a cause. Mark’s, awards and trophies couldn’t bring the joy I was looking for in life. The reason for this was not him but my selfish and cruel mind. I was upgraded in 11th standard with flying colors. I thought it would welcome me with folded hands and it did but with a thumb . I was not ready for another wound on me. I was always looking for love in the people around me . The 17yrs year old girl had dreams but without love in them. Parents love their children as if they are god for them but I wasn’t that blessed. I had a everything a girl would want in her life good nature ,good qualities, talented, smart ,hardworking still I felt my living is of no worth. I tried very hard but didn’t get happiness with scores and grades and one fine day the miracle happened. I saw him again after so many years with less of distance between us. Nothing has changed it seemed ..his face ,his eyes, and I could feel his heartbeat so closely . I said one word, hi !!!! . He replied to me with a big smile on his face as if he saw some god fairy; hi. I smiled and ran back to classroom . What the hell did it happen there? , I thought. People meet you in correct circumstances but are with you only when the time is perfect. The studious girl couldn’t concentrate the whole day in the class. Returning home ,lying with half on my school clothes on I was thinking about same thing. Oh god! I exclaimed , what is happening to me ,I wonder. Nevertheless I was finding the food flavorless. I decided to openly phone and get distracted from the thoughts about him. To my utter surprise, I saw his text “hi". I felt like flying in the sky but then landed in reality. My hands tremble to type but managed to write ,”sorry to disturb you , hi “. Tingling my fingers with constantly brushing my the hair back from my face, I wanted his reply deep inside down. In just 2 sec, message flashed on my screen. It was a picture attached and a note down ,”can you remember r childhood?” . I clicked on the pic and took a moment, then laughed. It was me wearing a light yellow dress and smiling and he was sitting beside me. Well the most imp thought was why did he send me this. I replied, “old memories “. I was more curious to know the present than the past. The message flashed again and it was written, “ how are you “ . I decided to be wicked and wrote,” I m fine, tell me about your life, any gf? “ . I think was in too hurry to ask that. It can upset him or make him angry. I thought to close my mobile and go on with life . Ahead had very busy days with tuitions and assignments ,homework and own time still the question was revolving in my mind the whole day that did he reply or not. I was scared to see it and avoided it the whole day. It was dawn almost, when I finally opened my android and saw the most saddest thing I have ever heard, “yes, I do have a very beautiful girlfriend and looking forward to it with an upside down smile emoji. My heart was weeping