Her Savior

Maelynn I woke up to my alarm clock going off. I groaned softly and reached over to hit the snooze button. I didn't remember I moved it and ended up falling out of bed. "Owe," I moaned. I got up and turned the alarm off. Well I'm awake now. Might as well get ready for today. I went into the small bathroom and ran the water. I waited a few minutes but the water didn't warm up, not that I was surprised. I sighed and got in to take another cold shower. It was rare to have hot water. Even when the water was freezing cold I tried to thoroughly wash my body. I got out after a few short minutes and got the small tattered towel. I dried myself off and put on my old robe and went back to my room. My room was small. Much like a majority of the apartment. Most of my clothes consisted of the same thing. Sweats, t-shirts, and old sneakers. I barely have jeans mainly because I grow out of them too quickly. At least with sweats it doesn't matter if I gain or lost weight. They were also convenient and a lot cheaper than most clothes. I grabbed a pair of really big sweat pants and an over-sized shirt that was at least two sizes too big. They were both faded and draped over me. I grabbed the old Jordan's I've had for at least three years. My feet are pretty squished but I can't afford other shoes. I got a hair tie and put my hair in a high ponytail. Nothing I have fits me properly. It’s either too big or too small and I don't have the body to wear anything small. I was overweight. At the height of five foot six and weighing just about three hundred pounds. Obese and unhealthy I know but I’ve always been big. I’ve tried exercising and dieting but nothing works. Eventually I gave up and decided to just be the person I was intended to be. Even though I’m very self-conscious and have very low self-esteem, I try to make the best of it. I have a pretty round face with big brown eyes and a small button nose. My hair is thick and long. It was a hassle to take care of most days so it’s normally in a ponytail or bun. I have decent sized breasts and a big butt. Even though I’m overweight my stomach isn’t all that big but I do have plenty of stretch marks. I knew my weight was a problem when kids would pick on me for it. They would call me names and exclude me out of fun games and social groups. It hurt but nothing compared to the pain my parents left behind. Even they were ashamed of my weight. My father was obsessed with his image and hated having a ‘fat’ daughter. He was also a very controlling man. I don’t have many memories of my mother since she left when I was young. I guess the stress of my father got to her. One day I came home and she wasn’t there. My father didn’t take the news well at all. He became a tyrant. Daughters normally looked up to their fathers. Believing he could do no wrong. But when I looked at my father, all I felt was fear and neglect. He didn’t love me for me. He couldn’t. After years of this, I couldn’t take it anymore. So when he went away on business, I ran. Ran as fast and as far as I could go with the help of my old neighbors who used to care for me when I was younger. They were managers in this apartment building so it was easy enough to get one set up for me. It wasn’t much of anything but it was so much more than I could ask for. I’ve lived here for three years. They help me out by covering expenses like my cable and electricity bill as well as the water bill. That’s all they could afford to do. But it was more than enough just letting me stay away from that tyrant of a man. I work almost every day after school in order to sustain myself and cover the rest of my bills. Being a full time student really gets in the way of me making a decent wage so my checks aren’t much and just barely cover the necessities. I shuffled across the short walkway into the kitchen. I had very little dishes. A few forks, knives and spoons. I could only afford the really cheap paper plates. There was one or two cups, a bowl, and a few old pots and pans a neighbor gave me. I looked in the refrigerator for something to eat. I was running extra low on food. Only reason I had some now is because there's a shelter place that gives out food every couple of weeks. I had butter, some bacon, government cheese, ketchup and hot sauce for some unknown reason, and a little less than half a gallon of milk. I looked in the cabinets and saw even less. A single small bag of grits, a bit of great value brand cereal, sugar, some bread that you can tell is getting old, and peanut butter. I had some canned food and rice which is good. At least this check won't be too focused on getting food. Living by yourself with low funds for an extended period of time you learn to make the little things stretch. I grabbed the bread and decided to make a breakfast sandwich. I have to use this bread somehow. I got my frying pan, eggs, bacon and butter. Once it was finished I got some milk and sat in the living room since I don't have a dining room table. I watched TV as I munched on my breakfast. It wasn't much but hopefully enough to hold me over for the majority of the day. Once I was finished I cleaned up and made sure everything was turned off. I grabbed my very old and tattered book bag that was on the verge of breaking. I climbed down the smelly stairs of my apartment building. Once I made it to the bottom I quickly left and moved quickly down the street. I avoided eye contact with any and everybody. I got to the bus stop and waited. After ten minutes the bus pulled up. It was at least a thirty minute ride to the school. I would still be about forty minutes early for class. Why? Because then I could avoid everyone. To pass the time I read on BookiT. It was a reading app I found in middle school. It’s where amateur writers post their material for people like me. I could read hundreds of thousands of books at my whim and beck. I especially loved some of the urban love stories. People finding love against all odds. A guy coming to the girl's rescue. Just someone taking all the hurt away. I know it's mostly cliché things that doesn't happen but I always find happiness when someone else is happy. Reading is a good escape from your reality. At least to me it is. I read until it was time for me to get off the bus. I still had a few blocks to walk to get to school. I looked up at the sky and noticed it was a little cloudy. I hope it doesn't rain. I have my hoodie but I don't think my shoes will suffice in bad weather. I walked quickly down the pavement and towards the school. Of course there's a specific reason I'm trying to be extra early. I'm trying to avoid DJ. DJ is the most popular guy in school. He has a lot of money and only dates 'bad bitches'. Like he's dating Angel. She's the most popular girl in the school. Like any high school cliché they had to date. Now they're the power couple. Everyone wants to be them. I want to avoid them. They excessively bully me every chance they get. I don't know why. I try to be nice to them. But everything I do ends up with me getting hurt somehow. My best bet is to try and avoid them as much as I can. I just have one more year left before leaving. I just have to keep my head down until graduation. Then I’m free of them. I got to the stone steps of North Jefferson and looked at the door. No one but the teachers and staff were here but I was still nervous and paranoid. Thinking someone was going to pop out and do something bad to me. I let out a shaky breath. Just calm down. No one's going to hurt you because no one is here. I took a deep breath in and took the first step. Then the other and the other. Finally I was at the door. I lifted my trembling hand and hesitated. What if he's there? What if he has some sinister plan to get me as soon as I open the door? Is this what my life has become? Am I so afraid and paranoid that I can't even open a simple door? A door that leads to a deserted hallway because really, who shows up an hour before school starts? Most teachers don't even show up until right before homeroom. But my paranoia has my brain going in all directions. Nothing makes sense and yet everything does. So many possibilities with the same outcome. Some way, somehow, he finds me and hurts me. I closed my eyes as my heart raced. It was pounding so loudly I can feel and hear the vibrations in my ears. You can do this, I mentally told myself. My hand connected with the cold handle of the school's doors and I tugged them open. It creaked from being disturbed. I poke my head inside. Everything was empty. I sighed in relief and walked inside. My footsteps echoed in the halls. This is what I like. Quiet so I know I'm the only one there. I went to my locker and put the combination in. I got the things I would need for my first three classes of the day to minimize my need to come to my locker. My first three classes are my core classes. English, Pre-calculus, and AP Chemistry/lab. Those classes are safe. I did get picked on occasionally but it's something I can easily ignore. My last four classes consist of Civics/economics, culinary arts, gym and student volunteer. Basically for that hour I'm assigned a place where I'll help either a staff member, teacher, etc. I have fourth lunch which is right after Civics. I normally grab a snack and just hide out in the library during that time. In civics I have Angel in my class. She and her friends’ gossip about me constantly, making me very self-conscious. But luckily I have gotten used to it and can block her out mostly. But I can’t block out DJ coming to meet her after class. They’d end up double teaming me before lunch. DJ is in my culinary arts and gym class. Perfect time for him to pick at my weight, burn me with hot food, and then pelt me with some type of sport related equipment on ‘accident’. Giving me plenty of fresh bruises before I'm momentarily free from them for an hour. They'll end up circling around by the end of the day to get me one last time before the day is over. I really don’t get them. I get they consider me entertainment but I never understood the need to cause me physical harm like they do. Is it just because they’re popular and I’m not? Or is it because Angel used to be my friend and regrets it? If she turned out like this because she gets to date the most popular guy here, maybe she wasn’t my friend. But why target me like they do? I often ask these questions to myself but I can never come up with an answer. Maybe I just didn’t know her like I thought I did. I walked in my English class and sat in the very back. My teacher wasn't even here yet. I pulled out my phone and began reading some more. I was really interested in the book I was reading. It was about a girl who too was being mistreated by her peers. I sympathized with her a lot. I had just got to a part introducing a new character named Jake. I knew I liked him when I first saw his name. He was new and was nice to the girl Lilith who needed a friend. That's when the bell rang and I noticed people filing into the class. I put my phone up and waited for class to start.