Husband Hunters

Chapter 3-2

The producer was not at all what Matt had projected. And Cody had to admit to feeling a little disappointed as he was led into a much smaller conference room. His libido had told him that just maybe the fantasy Matt had dreamed up would come true.

But the woman (yes, woman!) sitting before him looked like someone’s mother, maybe even his own, back in the Chicago suburb of Wilmette. If Cody had to guess, he would say she was about fifty, with silky silver-gray hair that hung down to her jawline in a poker-straight bob. Her face was smooth and unlined, and when she smiled at him, she revealed perfectly white teeth, like Chiclets, and warm, bright brown eyes. It was her eyes that put Cody at ease, welcoming.

After thanking Marc, she invited Cody to come in and take a seat. She clicked a few keys on the laptop in front of her. “Just to confirm: I’m talking to Cody Mook?”

“That’s me.”

The woman removed her gaze from the laptop keyboard and let it settle on Cody. She smiled. “And I’m Martha Stewart.” She chuckled. “No, really! The name is the bane of my existence! Everyone expects me to know how to make napkin rings or whip up a raspberry soufflé.” She shook her head. “I’m lucky if I can make toast. So, why don’t you tell me what brings you to Husband Hunters.”

So it’s going to be like this, is it? A friggin’ job interview. Tell me a little bit about yourself… What’s the next question? Where do you see yourself in ten years?

In spite of the snark caroming around in his head, Cody managed to smile back. “Matt Connelly.”

“I beg your pardon.” Martha c****d her head, carefully plucked eyebrows coming together in confusion. “That’s not the answer I usually get. Who’s Matt Connelly? And should he be on the payroll?”

That made Cody laugh. He motioned with his thumb over his shoulder, toward the ballroom. “He’s out there. Matt’s my best friend. He’s the one who dragged me down here.”

“Dragged you down here?” Martha folded her hands in front of her. “So, what are you telling me, Cody? You’re not interested?”

Cody felt a flush of heat rise to his face. What was wrong with him? Why didn’t he just play along? After all, he was there and he might as well make the best of it. And then a phantom thought popped into his head, just an image, really. It was the Jesse Williams lookalike biting into a maple bar. Maybe if he pursued this thing, he would end up with someone as fine as that man, or at least his equal.

“I’m sorry,” Cody said. “It was, in all honesty, my best friend’s idea, but I have to admit, I’m intrigued.”

“And why is that?”

Here it is—your chance to redeem yourself. Cody opened his mouth to speak and was seized with a feeling he couldn’t put his finger on. Was it apprehension? Did he fear embarrassing himself? He thought he’d say something glib and funny, but his first thought was painfully honest. He shrugged, tried to slow his galloping heart, and decided he had nothing to lose. “Because I’m alone.”

Martha’s smile became warmer. She nodded. “We’re all alone.”

“I know. But here’s the thing. I date. I hook up. I meet men all the time.”

“I’m not surprised, looking the way you do.” Martha winked.

Cody cast his eyes quickly down at the patterned carpeting, rust and beige, at his feet. “Whatever. Thank you. I’m not bragging, though.” He lifted his eyes to Martha, who leaned back in her chair, waiting. “I meet lots of great guys, but not one of them is the great guy. You know what I mean?”

“Hey! I’ve been married six times. I know what you’re talking about. You’re preaching to the choir, sweetheart!” She let out a peal of laughter.

“Really? And you work on a show about marriage?”

Martha leaned forward. “I work on a show about marriage because, in spite of my man woes, I am an incurable romantic. Even after all the heartbreaks, I still look. I still believe someone out there is the one.”

Martha’s words went right to Cody’s heart. “Yeah, that’s it. Look, I’m twenty-eight, and I’ve had a few nice dating relationships here and there, one where we even came close to moving in together, but for one reason or another, it never seems to work out.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“What is this? Therapy?” Cody snorted. “I’m sorry. I’m nervous. When I get nervous, I become a smartass.” Cody traced a circle on his jeans, around and around. Finally he looked back up at Martha. “If I knew the answer to that question, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here before you.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. Some of them seem too needy. One guy turned out to be into drugs, although he kept that fact hidden from me for a long time. Odd thing was, he was one of my favorites. A real sweetie. Some just fall off the radar, you know?” Martha nodded. “Things seem to be going great and then suddenly, no calls, no texts. And you can’t seem to reach them either.”

“Cowards!” Martha cried. “I’ve had my share. They don’t want to go out with you but are too afraid to just man up and say so. So they play the passive-aggressive game. Boo hiss.”

Cody smiled, nodding. “Right?” He drew in a big breath. “My friend Matt says that maybe I’ll meet the right man here.” He grinned. “That is, if I get on the show.”

Martha didn’t offer any indication, either way, if that would happen. “And maybe you’ll meet him right out there in the ballroom.”

“That’s what Matt said! I did have my eye on one guy.”

“There are quite a few cuties out there.” Martha moved her laptop closer. “I do have some standard questions I’d like to go through, about your background, what kind of things you’d look for in a potential mate, stuff like that.”

Cody thought it was promising that she wanted to ask those things. “Answer right and I’m in like Flynn?”

“For someone who was ‘dragged’ here, you certainly seem eager!”

“Maybe I am,” Cody conceded, realizing suddenly it was true.

“Well, if you answer right, the next step would be a quick video interview with one of the show’s directors. You know, kind of like a screen test. Then, if you pass that, you’ll be in like Flynn. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“Okay.” Cody leaned forward, expectant. “What do you want to know?”

Martha went through what Cody assumed were all the standard questions, many of them duplicating what he had already answered on the online form. She asked him stuff like did he practice any religion? What did he like best about his job? If he had a weekend to himself with nothing special to do, how would he spend it? Did he ever think of having children? When had he come out? Who were the three most significant people in his life and why?

That last question caught him by surprise, calling as it did for deeper reflection. Cody leaned back in his chair. “Give me a second,” he said softly.

Martha’s warm eyes appraised him. “Don’t think too hard. Just say the first three that come to mind.”

“Okay.” He had thought of three people right away, but who they were surprised him. He chuckled. “My mom. She’s a lot like you, at least in the looks department. She’s an interior decorator back in the Chicago area, divorced, but has a good life, big circle of friends, plays grandma to my sister Elaine’s two boys, but yet she always seems to be able to make me feel like I’m the most special person in the world when I call, which I don’t often enough, a fact which she never lets me forget.”

Martha smiled, nodding.

“But when I do call, and it’s pretty often—I’m not that bad—she always takes in everything I say as if it’s the most important news she’s ever gotten.”

“And maybe it is.”

“I guess it’s why, when anything good or bad happens, the first thing I usually want to do is call Mom.” He laughed self-consciously. “I guess that makes me a mama’s boy, huh?”

“It makes you a lucky boy,” Martha said. “Who else?”

“I had this one teacher in college? He was an old guy, just this little old white-haired man, always wore a bow tie and these big black glasses. God, he was funny. He taught creative writing, and I just took his class for fun, because I knew I wanted to teach. But he taught me so much about saying the right thing and that the best way to say it was often the simplest. He just has a place in my heart.”

The last person was actually the first who popped into his head, and it surprised him the most, which was maybe why Cody debated telling Martha at all. He briefly toyed with naming his sister, or the cool priest he had as a kid, or even Pepper, the cocker spaniel who was his constant companion growing up. But in the end he thought he should be honest.

“Who’s the last person, Cody?” Martha urged.

“Matt.”

“The guy you came with today?”

Cody nodded. “He’s my best friend. Sometimes I swear it’s more fun spending time with him than going out on a date with a hot guy. He gets me, you know? We can just sit and not even talk and it’s comfortable.”

“I see. I have someone like that in my life. And, oddly enough, it’s someone I’ve never been married to.” She laughed. Then she asked, “Isn’t Matt hot?”

“What do you mean?”

“Earlier, you said something like you’d rather be with Matt instead of some hot guy. That makes me think he’s pretty plain.”

“Oh, now he would tell you he’s plain. That’s part of his charm. But while he’s not handsome in the typical sense, he’s got this manly vibe going on that he isn’t even aware of. Hey, did you ever watch Bruce Willis in that old TV show he was on with Cybil Shepherd? What was it called?”

Martha grinned, and Cody assumed it was with nostalgia. “Moonlighting. I loved that show.”

“Well, Matt’s kind of like a young Bruce Willis.”

Martha fanned her hand in front of her. “Be still my heart!”

“Right? He thinks I’m the hot one and he’s chopped liver.”

“Did you ever correct him?”

Matt knew his grin was sheepish. “Not really. It would just seem weird. We’re buddies, you know? We don’t flatter each other much.”

Martha took in a deep breath. “Well, as much as I’d like to sit here and gab the day away with you, Mr. Mook, I have a few dozen other guys to see before I can go upstairs to my room, kick off my shoes, order room service, and drop off to sleep.”

“Dismissed?”

Martha nodded. “Out.”

“Am I in?” Cody grinned.

“Remember what I told you about an on-camera interview being the next step?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, when you leave here, turn right and go down to the next conference room. That’s where the video interviews are being done.”

“Really?”

“Really. Good luck.” Martha stood and shook his hand.

Cody left the room with the distinct feeling he was dreaming.