Keep Holding On

Chapter Two

“Hey Mom, hey Dad!” I exclaim as soon as they open the door. They’re finally back from their four day trip to Seattle to see my sister. Norah has been away at college for a couple months now and my parents miss her terribly. I’m not sure what it must be like for them, raising a child for eighteen years only to have them leave. I mean, I know it’s all a part of growing up but it can’t be easy. My sister and I have weekly dates over webcam, so I don’t miss her too much. For the most part, the house just gets lonely sometimes without her in it.

“Hey Eloise, I trust you didn’t have any parties when we were gone.” Dad says grinning as he pulls me into a hug. I gulp, trying to block out the memories of Friday night.

“Nope, trust me, I definitely did not have a party.” Does it count as lying if I don’t mention that I went to a party though? Is it also considered lying if I forget to tell them that I lost my virginity to a stranger two days ago? I’m going with no on both of those.

“Well good, how about your homework? You didn’t spend all weekend watching TV with April, did you?” Mom asks, kissing my cheek.

“Nope, we just hung out; went to the mall by their house, had a barbeque with Uncle Dan and Aunt Penny, slept until late afternoon… normal stuff. Then I came home this morning and finished my homework a little bit ago.” I say, shrugging. Whenever I feel guilty about something, I seem to babble. Hopefully they won’t ask me any questions, I’m an awful liar.

“Okay.” She says, smiling. As she starts walking to the kitchen, her voice sounds through the house, “What do you want for dinner, I was thinking we could have that chicken…” I stop listening and sigh in relief. I seriously hate lying, and this feels like the biggest lie I’ve ever had to tell. Mom’s voice cuts through my thoughts, “Ellie, are you even listening to me?” She asks, her head popping around the corner.

I blink and put on a fake smile, “Uh yeah, I was. That sounds great!” I say, even though I’m not sure what I just agreed to.

She smiles brightly, “Oh good, I was hoping that was what you’d say.” She says, clapping her hands together. “I always love having the Rosen’s over for dinner.” She walks away before I can even process what she’s said.

I groan and flop back onto the couch, I hate the Rosen’s. They’re that annoyingly perfect little family who love getting in other people’s business. The worst one has got to be Jamie, aka James Jr., though. He’s a year older than me and instead of going away to college, he stayed behind to do some missionary work for the church or some crap like that. Whenever we’re together, he’s always spouting bible verses like they’re going to change my life or something. Don’t get me wrong here, it’s not that I don’t believe that there’s a God, I just don’t like being preached at.

Mom comes around the corner again to see me watching TV again, still in my sweatpants and tank top. She gasps, eyes wide, “Ellie, go get changed! The Rosen’s are going to be here any minute!” I look over at her, surprised to see that she’s already done her hair and makeup. She’s even wearing a nice dress. I roll my eyes. They’re just the Rosen’s.

I run upstairs to my bedroom and look through my closet. I really don’t care about impressing our dinner company, but I know Mom does, so that means I’ll be making an effort. I take out a lilac colored spaghetti strap dress sundress that goes to just above my knees. Since it’s the beginning of October, I take out a white cardigan so I won’t get cold. I don’t have many pairs of shoes, so I take out the one that matches the dress best, a red and white striped wedge sandal. As a finishing touch, I put on a necklace with a little flower pendant. My hair is easy to do, since I only need to take it down from the bun it was in. Nothing I do to my hair, besides attacking it with a flat iron, will dent the curls. It’s annoying sometimes. I don’t even bother with makeup before I leave my bedroom and head downstairs to hear voices in the living room.

“Oh, Ellie, it’s so good to see you!” Mrs. Rosen says, standing from the couch to kiss my cheek. I grin and bear it, kissing her cheek in return. Mr. Rosen and Jamie’s little brother, Justin, both wave to me. Jamie stands up to hug be, as though we’re together or something.

“Oh my,” I hear from Mrs. Rosen, who’s looking uncomfortably at my shoes. She looks up and gives an extremely fake smile, “What… interesting shoes you have there, Ellie.” She says, placing a dainty hand over her mouth, looking at me worriedly.

I bite back my laugh, knowing that Mrs. Rosen believes that anybody who wears red shoes must be a p********e. “Why thank you! I just love them.” I tell her, looking down at my feet proudly. I see her take a shaky breath, knowing I must have just taken a couple good years off of her life.

Mom gives me a knowingly amused smile as she puts her arm across Mrs. Rosen’s shoulders, “Pam dear, why don’t you come entertain me in the kitchen. I wanted to show you that new recipe I’ve been working on.”

She nods and gives me one last concerned look before walking into the kitchen behind Mom. I turn my focus back to the room to see all three Rosen guys staring at my feet. “You do know that those are devil shoes, right Ellie?” Justin asks worriedly. I have to smile, at thirteen, he’s just too sweet.

“Don’t worry, Justin.” I tell him kindly, “I’m not selling my body.” He looks relieved and I almost feel bad that his parents have brainwashed him to the point where he honestly thought that only hookers could wear red shoes. Mine weren’t even completely red. Plus, they’re wedges not stilettos.

“Good.” He sighs, along with the rest of his family. I shake my head, thankful for the parents who raised me.

“How about we all head into the dining room.” Dad suggests, clapping Jim, James Sr., on the back. We all follow suit and take our places around the table. I end up sitting by Dad, thankfully, and Jamie.

Jamie turns all of his attention to me, which is usually what happens. “So, Ellie, how are your studies going?” He asks, placing his napkin delicately in his lap like we’re at an upscale restaurant.

“They’re going well. How’s your work with the church going?” I ask in return, purely to be polite. To be honest, I couldn’t care less how it was going. I know it’s awful of me, but I just don’t like that family.

“It’s great! We’re planning a trip to Honduras soon to build houses for some of the families there. You should consider joining us.” He says, smiling proudly.

I have to force the scowl from appearing on my face as I answer, “I’m actually really busy with schoolwork at the moment, but maybe in a few years.” I know it’s an empty promise, but I’ll say anything to get him off my back.

“You’re too busy to help families in need?” He asks, clearly judging me.

I swallow, trying to keep myself from snapping at him. “Actually, I’m too busy trying to become a doctor so that maybe, one day, I can be in Doctors without Borders and help sick people around the world. I’m sorry, but that seems more worthy of my time than building houses that I don’t know how to make.” I feel bad for saying that, since I really do think it’s great what the church is doing. I just don’t want to be made guilty for not joining. I have plans of my own, and I don’t think that makes me selfish.

Dad seems to realize that I’m close to my edge, so he quickly cuts in by talking about something random. A little bit later, Mom comes in with a casserole dish and a few other things so we can eat. The conversations just seem endless. It’s nearly impossible for me to keep quiet when they start quoting the bible for every single thing I say. Eventually, I just keep my mouth shut and smile.

By the end of the night, I’m exhausted just from being around those people. They literally drive me crazy. Mom closes the door behind them and I sigh in relief, “f*****g finally.” I mutter, making Mom’s gaze shoot to me. I feel like I’m about to be scolded until she bursts out laughing.

“God, I have no idea why I invite those pretentious people over all the time.” She says, falling onto the couch and wiping a hand down her face.

“I think it’s because you suppress the memories of their visits so you don’t remember how awful they are.” I tell her, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch.

She starts laughing again, “Pam’s reaction to your shoes.” She says simply, making me join in with her hysterics.

“Justin really thought I was a hooker.” I tell her giggling. Her eyes widen before laughing harder.

“What are you ladies laughing at?” Dad asks, walking into the room with a tray of three hot chocolate mugs.

“How awful the Rosen’s are.” I say simply, thanking him as I take my cup.

“Now that’s not very nice.” He says, but even I can see the glint of amusement in his eyes.

After the hot chocolate, I excuse myself to head up to my room. Waking up after a weekend of sleeping in is always hard, so I try getting to bed earlier than usual.

***

“Hey Elle.” My best friend, Haley, says as she sits down beside me. The sun is shining brightly today, making the morning a comfortable enough temperature to sit outside this morning.

“Hey Hales.” I say, looking up from my book.

“How was your weekend?” She asks, stretching her legs out in front of her and turning her face up to the sky.

“Um, i-it was ok-kay.” I stammer, biting my lip when I know I screwed up.

She cracks one eye open and narrows it at me, “What happened?” She asks, sending me a pointed look.

“What?! Nothing!” I deny harshly, snapping the book closed.

“Okay, now I really know something happened. Tell me.” She demands, turning towards me. I take a moment, just staring at her. She’s got light green eyes and bleach blonde hair. Her skin is tan year round from her trips to the tanning salon. She’s always got manicured nails and expertly done makeup. She’s perfect, and I’ve always felt plain compared to her. Haley isn’t a virgin, and she’s my best friend, so maybe I can tell her.

“I, uh, I went to a party with April this weekend and I had s*x with somebody.” I whisper to her, staring at the ground.

“You what?!” She screams, grasping my shoulders.

“I h-had sex.” I tell her, my eyes watering.

“How the hell did that happen?” She asks, shaking me a little.

“I got drunk and this guy started dancing with me. The next thing I know, I’m in a bed with him and we had s*x. Then April called me and I booked it.”

“Please tell me you got his name.” She says worriedly.

I bite my lip, “When I was saying goodbye, he told me it.” I admit shamefully.

“Was he at least hot?” I can see a smirk starting on her lips so I smack her arm. Sighing though, I nod. “He was the sexiest guy I’ve ever seen.” She starts laughing at how dreamy I probably look. Despite her concern when I told her, it feels good to have somebody else know.

“So how was it?” She asks, returning to her former position with her head tilted back.

I sigh and lean back too, “Incredible?” I offer, giggling. “I was too drunk for it to hurt, like I was always afraid of. I’m pretty sure he was experienced though, because I always figured my first time would be clumsy and awkward, but it wasn’t. I was perfect. Well, you know, except for the drunk and stranger parts.” I finish with a laugh.

“Really?” She asks doubtfully. I nod. “You’re lucky then, because when Luke and I first did it, it hurt like a bitch.” She says, frowning.

“Maybe there was nothing there to hurt me… I mean, people say that if you play sports or something it can happen.” I say. We both pause for a minute before laughing hysterically.

“Good one.” Haley says, wiping a tear from her eyes. We both know that I’m the least athletic person in the world.

We hear the bell ring from inside the school and stand to grab our things, following the rest of the girls in to the school. I’m not really popular here or anything, but I’ve got some good friends. There’s Haley, who’s quiet but outgoing. Rose, who’s like a mouse she’s so shy. Alexis is class president and kind of a b***h, but we hang out anyways. There are a few other people too, but those three are mostly my group.

In third period History, a note gets passed to me by Stephanie, a girl I’ve known since grade school. ‘Is it true you lost your V-Card over the weekend?’

I stare in horror at the little slip of paper in my fingers before writing back, ‘Why would you think that?’

‘Well, Erica heard it from Kelly, who heard it from Morgan, who heard it from Liz that you got drunk and had s*x on Friday.’ I read the new piece of paper.

I frown, ‘Who did Liz hear it from?’

The teacher starts walking down the rows of desks checking homework, so we can’t send any more notes. As soon as class is over, I walk to Steph. “Who?” I ask, more like demand.

“Alexia.”