For the Famiglia: Intertwined fate

Busy Days and Babies

Sleeping through the night, I don't remember the last time I did. Breathing heavily, sweat running down my face I would always wake up as though someone was there, as though Leo was still lurking in the dark. Grasping the covers tightly over myself half expecting them to be ripped away from me... leaving me defenceless once again somehow the blankets the mere flimsy coverings felt like a shield against the world but to think I was going back to sleep now was a joke sleeping past four or five in the morning never happened just endless tossing and turning where my mind would go into a muddle. At the moment it would drift to my mother under the watch of my grandfather I hadn't heard much from them and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad thing not that it mattered after all I wasn’t that golden girl anymore.

At least I was busy today to keep me distracted, taking the busy subway amongst the hustle and bustle rounding up paperwork before dropping it off to Marco, I hadn’t seen him in about three weeks not surprising since he had become a father and was busy with Las Vegas. Rina said she and Loretta would go and check on Niccolo a happy chubby-cheeked baby the way Rina gushed made me almost laugh such a hard-headed girl I never imagined she would fawn so much over a baby the thoughts were beginning to delve into my inevitable unlikeliness to have children so I quickly hurried on with my day. The usual stop at the Deli for a coffee before running along. The morning was cool and the trains were already full of people luckily I had my iPad and headphones I would be spending a good few hours running around today. If only it was as simple as getting it sent through email but for safety everything was always written out in books before I could transfer it to the files making it look legit after all it was never the crimes people like my family and the Damiani’s are caught on it’s always money so aslong it looked on the up and up it didn’t matter much.

::

My feet ached by the late afternoon by the time I finally got to Marco’s, he had moved out to the townhouse a beautiful brownstone on a quiet street and large trees lined the sidewalk out the front. The sun was almost setting and the street lamps were about to come on by the time I got to the front door I was taking off the small heeled shoes in relief and dropping them by the front door. It was loud inside the TV was playing I could hear noises from the kitchen mixed with the sounds of the baby's cries it was overwhelming which was ironic since we lived in New York and every day was filled with relentless noise.

“Hello?” I called stepping further into the loungeroom it was a mess filled with toys and other rubbish. Looking around I was beginning to worry after all Marco didn’t lead the most vanilla life. I was beginning to move with more caution into the house stepping through the large arch into the dining room I set down the papers on the long wooden table Opposite was the kitchen I sighed seeing the blender still pumping away at some sort of greenish liquid. I sighed flicking off the switch and then moving over to the stove where food had been left and ruined “Hello?” I called once again and that’s when I heard it the baby's cries coming closer and thumping of heavy foot steps before I knew it they descended the long dark wooden staircase leading to the entry. Just waiting in the kitchen it was quick Marco rounded the corner the baby boy in his arms his face pink from his cries Marco looked dishevelled it was the first time I hadn’t seen him clean-shaven, the usually well-down hair was messily tossed about and instead of his usual button up he only wore a singlet.

“What are you doing here?” he asked seeming confused as he rushed passed rocking Nic back and forth though it seemed to be of no help in easing the boy.

“I’m dropping off papers... Where is your grandmother or Rina or anyone?” I asked curiously I know they had spent so much time helping Marco with the baby.

“Nonna is busy and Rina has school work so it’s been me here this week” he explained clearly stressed as he attempted to sort out getting a bottle amongst the mess of pile on the sink “The cleaners are sick too...” he sighed which explained the mess now.

Shaking my head Marco was so straight-laced laced seeing him like this made him feel more human which I wasn’t sure was strange or sweet. Watching him struggle and sigh scooping up Nic from him Marco looked confused at my movements “Get the bottle ready” I instructed bouncing the small little boy. He was a month old now still smaller than he should be though and the feeding tubes had finally been removed from his nose, he was a cute baby with large eyes surrounded by thick lashes, tan skin and dark hair obviously there from Marco a button nose like his mother though. I carried the crying boy to the lounge and settled him on my shoulder patting at his back.

“I didn’t know you could handle kids” Marco commented as he came out from the kitchen shaking the small bottle to mix the formula through.

“You know what it’s like growing up with our families. You end up always being surrounded by them some way or another” I commented continuing to pat his back before Marco could even reach out Nic let out a loud gagging-type noise and before I knew it I could feel wetness dripping down my shoulder and back.

“Shit...” Marco grumbled quickly taking Nic it was funny how quickly he hand-settled into his father's role.

“It’s okay” I laughed glancing at my shoulder the smell was more than unpleasant.

“The bathroom is at the top of the stairs” he instructed sitting down on the lounge and trying to settle the baby once more “And ah if you need a shirt my room is at the other end of the hall.

“Thanks” was all I said making my way up. I frankly just wanted to clean up but I didn’t want Marco to feel too bad about it babies have to do what babies have to do after all. Upstairs was just as lovely as downstairs the bathroom was simple with white subway tiles but nice nonetheless. Glancing in the mirror of the bathroom I didn’t have much hope of simply wiping it off so I made my way to Marco’s room across the old wooden floor the floorboard was the original one from when the place was built most of the place was original just up kept really. Marco’s room took up the entire front of the house, the large floor-to-ceiling windows lined the wall and gave a view over the street. His closet was a walk-in right next to an ensuite bathroom, his whole room was neat a lot of blacks and greys barely any colour besides maybe some dark blue. I settled on just a casual white t-shirt he didn’t have many most of his clothes were quite formal after all. I took it back to the bathroom and went on with trying to clean up my shirt before wondering if I could just get back bag to shove it in and wash it at home, the smell was faded a little after I scrubbed it I didn’t want to ride in a taxi home sticking like puke though it wasn’t like they most likely hadn’t smelt worse. Making my way back down to ask Marco about a bag to get ready to leave I rushed down the steps and made my way to the lounge I went to speak but stopped there were Marco and Nic, the small baby resting on Marco’s chest as he laid out across the grey couch their breathing in-sync with one another’s. I couldn’t help but feel a sweet feeling at witnessing such an innocent moment from such a not-so-innocent man