Heart of the Wolf

Chapter Five

Lynn's POV

I stared at the clock on my bedside table, its glowing numbers mocking me as another sleepless night crawled by. 3:47 AM. I should be at work in a few hours, but the thought of facing another day alongside Adonis made my stomach churn.

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since he started working with me, and every day was an exquisite torture. His presence was like a constant reminder of everything I couldn't have—stability, strength, and a future untainted by addiction.

I rolled over, burying my face in the pillow that still faintly smelled of Alan. God, I missed him. The ache in my chest was a physical thing, threatening to tear me apart from the inside out.

"You know he's better off where he is," I whispered to myself, trying to quell the guilt that gnawed at me. "He's sober. He's safe."

But the words rang hollow in the emptiness of my bedroom. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing sleep to come, but all I could see was Adonis's face—those piercing blue eyes that seemed to look right through me, the strong line of his jaw softening when he smiled.

I groaned, sitting up and running a hand through my tangled hair. "This is ridiculous," I muttered. "Get it together, Lynn."

But even as I said it, I knew it was useless. I was falling apart, and I couldn't seem to stop it. I reached for my phone, my finger hovering over Alan's contact information. What would I even say? 'Hey, sorry I put you in jail, but I'm kind of losing my mind over your sexy rival'?

I tossed the phone aside with a frustrated sigh. The sun was starting to peek through the curtains, painting the room in shades of gray and gold. Another day. Another battle with my conflicting emotions.

I stumbled to the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face in a futile attempt to wake up. The person staring back at me in the mirror was a stranger—hollow-eyed and pale, with dark circles that no amount of concealer could hide.

"You look like s**t," I told my reflection bluntly.

At least I didn't have to worry about Adonis seeing me like this. I'd called in sick again, unable to face another day of pretending everything was fine when I was falling apart inside.

As I shuffled back to bed, my phone buzzed with a text. My heart leapt, hoping it was Alan, but it was Adonis.

"Missed you at work today. Hope you're feeling better. Let me know if you need anything."

I stared at the message, warmth blooming in my chest even as guilt twisted my gut. Why did he have to be so damn nice? It would be so much easier if I could just hate him.

"Thanks," I typed back, my fingers trembling slightly. "Just a bug. I'll be back tomorrow."

I hit send before I could overthink it, then tossed the phone aside and burrowed back under the covers. Maybe if I just stayed here long enough, the world would sort itself out without me.

But as I drifted off into a fitful sleep, I knew that was just another lie I was telling myself. Sooner or later, I was going to have to face the truth—about Alan, about Adonis, and about the mess I'd made of my life. For now, though, I let exhaustion pull me under, praying for dreams that didn't involve piercing blue eyes or the comforting embrace of the man I'd sent to jail.

****

The incessant ringing of my phone finally ceased, leaving me in blissful silence once more. I burrowed deeper into my cocoon of blankets, ignoring the grimy feeling of unwashed skin and the gnawing ache in my empty stomach. Days had blurred together, and I'd lost count of how long I'd been lying here, wallowing in my misery.

A sudden pounding on my apartment door jolted me from my half-conscious state. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing whoever it was to go away. They always did, eventually.

But this time was different. The pounding continued, growing more insistent with each passing moment. Then, I heard a familiar voice that sent a jolt of panic through me.

"Lynn! I know you're in there!" Adonis's deep baritone carried easily through the thin walls. "I'm using the spare key under that sad excuse for a plant you've got out here!"

My heart raced as I heard the click of the lock, followed by heavy footsteps. "s**t," I muttered, realizing too late that I was completely naked under these blankets.

Adonis's imposing figure appeared in my bedroom doorway, his blue eyes widening as he took in the state of my apartment. Empty takeout containers littered every surface, dirty clothes were strewn across the floor, and the air was thick with the musty smell of neglect.

"Jesus, Lynn," he breathed, his gaze finally landing on the lump that was me in the bed. "What the hell happened here?"

I glared at him from my blanket fortress. "What are you doing here, Adonis? Get out!"

He crossed his arms, his muscular frame filling the doorway. "Not a chance. I've been worried sick about you. You haven't been answering your phone, you've missed work... I had to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," I lied, my voice hoarse from disuse. "Now leave."

Adonis's eyes narrowed, and I could see the determination setting in his jaw. "You're not fine, and we both know it. I brought groceries. You're going to get up, take a shower, and then I'm going to cook you a proper meal."

I clutched the blankets tighter around me. "I can't."

"Why not?" he challenged.

Heat flooded my cheeks. "Because I'm... I'm not wearing anything under here."

To his credit, Adonis didn't even flinch. "Then I'll turn around while you get dressed. But you're getting out of that bed, Lynn. One way or another."

As he spun on his heel to face the hallway, I felt a confusing mix of anger, embarrassment, and... something else I didn't want to name. Why did he have to care so damn much?

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes, a dam about to burst. "Just leave me alone," I choked out, my voice barely above a whisper. "I can't... I can't do this anymore. Without Alan, I..." The sobs came then, wracking my body as I curled tighter into myself.

Adonis's demeanor softened instantly. He turned back, his blue eyes filled with concern. "Lynn," he said gently, taking a step closer.

"I know you're hurting, but this isn't the answer."

"You don't understand," I wailed. "I have no reason to live if I can't be with him. He's everything to me."

Adonis sighed, running a hand through his black hair. "Alan wouldn't want this for you. He'd want you to take care of yourself."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. He was right, of course, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Look," Adonis continued, his voice soothing. "How about this? You get up and take a shower. I'll make you something to eat. If you still want me to leave after that, I will. Deal?"

I hesitated, torn between my desire to wallow and the small part of me that recognized I needed help. Finally, I nodded weakly.

"Okay," I mumbled. "Just... turn around again."

As I shuffled to the bathroom, wrapped in a blanket, I caught a whiff of Adonis's earthy scent. It was oddly comforting, though I pushed that thought away immediately.

The hot water felt heavenly on my skin, washing away days of grime and some of my melancholy. When I emerged, towel-clad and slightly more human, I was hit by the most delicious aroma. To my utter amazement, my apartment had been transformed. The mess was gone, surfaces gleaming. And there was Adonis in my tiny kitchen, his muscular frame incongruous among my pots and pans. He was pulling a tray from the oven, the scent of rosemary and cheese filling the air.

"You... cleaned?" I managed, stunned.

Adonis grinned sheepishly. "I work fast. Hope you're hungry. I've got potatoes with olive oil, rosemary, and cheese, some steak bites, and..." He gestured to a white box on the counter. "Strawberry shortcake for dessert."

I stared at him, utterly bewildered by this tattooed Adonis turned domestic god. "Why are you doing all this?"

His blue eyes met mine, intense and sincere. "Because you matter, Lynn. Whether you believe it right now or not."

I felt a lump form in my throat, overwhelmed by his kindness and my shame. Adonis's gaze softened as he placed a steaming plate on the small dining table.

"Sit," he commanded gently, his deep voice brooking no argument. "Eat first, then we'll talk."

I hesitated, acutely aware of my damp hair and threadbare robe. "I should get dressed—"

"Nope," Adonis interrupted, pointing firmly at the chair. "Food. Now."

Reluctantly, I shuffled over and sank into the seat, the delicious aromas making my neglected stomach growl embarrassingly loud. Adonis pretended not to notice, busying himself with bringing over utensils and a glass of water.

As I picked up my fork with trembling fingers, I couldn't help but ask, "How did you even know where I live?"

Adonis raised an eyebrow. "You told me weeks ago, remember? In case of work emergencies."

"Oh." I flushed, mortified at how much my depression had muddled my memory. I took a small bite of potato, the flavors exploding on my tongue. Despite my shame, I couldn't stop the moan of pleasure that escaped.

"Good?" Adonis asked a hint of pride in his voice.

I nodded, suddenly ravenous. As I ate, I could feel Adonis's eyes on me, patient but unyielding. I knew the moment of reckoning was coming, and my stomach churned with more than just food.

What could I possibly say to explain my complete breakdown? How could I make him understand that my heart felt torn in two, leaving me hollow and lost? The weight of my conflicted feelings pressed down on me, threatening to steal what little appetite I'd regained.