On Set in Lugardo

My Island

Lugardo treats everyone differently.

With me, it's perceptive: nothing personal can be hidden from him, but there's no point in hiding, as it accepts me in any state of disarray. So, I quickly kicked off my sneakers and dress and immersed myself in the sea just as I was: exhausted, embarrassed, scared, and a little happy. The water won't send you to a shrink, it won't reproach weakness, won't envy success.

I missed you, Lugardo. The silent grace of your buildings, your tactful sun, and the childlike palette of your nature. Only here can one drop out of life but continue living; see one's true self reflected in the smooth sea, and even ask the time to flow at a different pace.

Today, I chose this pier not by chance: it was here, almost three years ago, that the idea for the book came to me. I lay on the hot stones, drying off after another swim, listening to the laughter and shouts of boys and girls jumping into the sea from a height of twenty meters. On the other side, the coast twisted, forming a bay, and on the cliff, an old baroque church stood, like a castle guarding the ancient secrets of Lugardo or like a lighthouse pointing the way to lost ships.

Back then, I first imagined how Sammy would navigate the sea in his bus and notice the temple in the distance. With the sunrise, bright light pierced the peaks of the medieval structure and spread over the yellow stone facade...

I'll savor this long-awaited meeting a little more, and then I'll get down to business. I clearly overestimated my strength: I thought I could work with such a view from my window! Although, where haven't I had to work with my laptop: in airports, cafés, even on the roof of the house. Yet Lugardo is a different story. I feel like I'm losing myself here.

Have the old wounds started bleeding again?

Or is it because I worked for a year without a break, and when my body hit the beach, the "resort" mode kicked in?

Thank goodness, I have a reasonably flexible business: an online school. I'll write to my assistant now; she'll distribute my students among other teachers and take control of the work processes. I'll have to keep my finger on the pulse, monitor, and track ads. After the meeting with Victor and Oscar, it became clear that combining filming with full time work is not an option.

Oh, this morning's meeting... I hope to blame my non-participation on fatigue. What a fool I made of myself! Have you met a writer who doesn't remember her own book? Right this day, I'll organize tasks and reread my own novel...

"May I join you?" a voice came from behind.

I turned around, but I didn't immediately trust my eyes: it seemed that the guy in a baseball cap and glasses was Oscar.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," he said, and I recognized his voice; it was indeed Nordin. On my pier. And no one else around.

"How did you get here?" I asked.

"I came by taxi," he nodded towards the street, and I saw a yellow car waiting for him on the side of the road.

"You... came to swim?" I was completely bewildered, simultaneously thinking of what the hell he was doing there and how not to make a fool of myself in front of Oscar Nordin again.

He laughed, taking off his glasses.

"Sorry, I barged in without permission, disturbing your solitude, though it wasn't my intention. I came to see the church, walked down to the pier, and there you were. Although I didn't recognize you at first," he cast a quick glance at me and awkwardly lowered his eyes, clearing his throat.

And then I remembered that the only thing I was wearing was a swimsuit. I jumped up and wrapped myself in the towel I was sitting on.

Yikes, it's wet!

"Darn it, you got uncomfortable, I'm an i***t. I wasn't staring, don't worry!" he babbled and blurted out at the end, "Although there's a lot to see."

My jaw dropped open. At twenty-six, I felt confident in my body: men didn't overlook my curvy figure, but I hadn't received compliments from movie stars in regard to my figure just yet. In the morning, Oscar made an impression of a professional...

To my relief, Oscar instantly realized he had taken the wrong turn and sighed heavily.

"It's an epic failure," he apologetically lowered his gaze and rubbed his forehead. "I haven't slept for a week; forgive me."

"No big deal," I tried to change the subject as quickly as possible while still holding the towel tightly to my chest. "You mentioned a church you came to see. Is it that one over there?"

"Yes," he said. "Why didn't the taxi take you to the church square?"

"I wanted to see it from the sea, as described in the book. This is it, right?" he stared into the distance. "This is the one Sammy sees first, approaching the island?"

"Yes," I replied. "How did you know?"

"I just described to the driver what I was looking for, and he brought me here."

"Excuse me? You described the church from the book to the driver?"

"Yes."

I didn't know what to say. I found myself unprepared, again. How could anyone be prepared for something like this? He found the church based on the description in the book! Nowhere did it specify which church it was. People enjoyed speculations on the matter, but it was never published anywhere that this building on the cliff was the one. I didn't even know its actual name.

I managed to say, "You take your work seriously."

"This role is important to me," a hint of concern flashed on his tired face.

"Why?"

"Well, I need to do something about this label..."

"What label?"

"You know, after 'Balthazar,' people perceive me... how to put it correctly... frivolously?"

"That was a bomb," I agreed, recalling how Oscar, a couple of years ago, suddenly emerged from nowhere and became a star. And it was all because of a film about a high school hooligan biker in a leather jacket. A rough guy, a heartbreaker, Balthazar!

Oscar gazed at the sea, displaying a sculpted profile, light stubble, and a faint vulnerability. There was little or almost nothing of Balthazar in him at that moment.

"I'm not complaining; I'm lucky to be where I am. But I don't want people to remember me as the conqueror of schoolgirls' hearts. That's why I need characters like Sammy, you know?"

He looked at me for support, and I was in slow motion, my thoughts slowed down; I just stared at his face, seeing a combination of humility and struggle. Suddenly, my consciousness cleared, and a thought flashed on the surface: he was perfect for the role of Sammy.

"I'm glad it's you who'll play him," I said.

Nordin smiled at the corners of his lips.

"You'll say that when the first reviews of the movie come out."

"Don't think about the reviews in advance."

"Guilty as charged," he lowered his head, then perked up. "Listen, can we sit somewhere and talk about your book?"

"Right now?"

"Yes. Do you know any cafés nearby?"

My plan for today was to return to my room and sleep until my head fell off. But after all, I'm here for work, and it seems to be a part of my work obligations to have coffee with celebrities. Poor me.

"There's a place right across the street. I just need to get dressed, and you," I nodded at the sunglasses he was twirling in his hands the whole time, "put on your... camouflage..."

He surveyed the empty street.

"Hardly anyone will recognize me here."

But he still put on sunglasses; not that he instantly became unrecognizable, but at least not at first glance. I hoped that Oscar was right, and no one in Lugardo had heard of him. Even though it's a tourist spot, it's still a tiny island. Besides, it's eleven in the morning on a Wednesday, and at such times, the streets are empty here.

Oscar dismissed the taxi, and we strolled past the shops. Suddenly I suggested, "This is a mini-market, do you need anything?" I glanced at his three-day stubble. "Razor, sunblock, alcohol?"

He chuckled, "Local hiking kit?" while absentmindedly stroking his chin. "Let's go in and take a look."

And then we found ourselves up to our ears in trouble...