Saved by the sea

Chapter 4

I sat in a hot bath retching all that has happened today, but I just ended up regretting everything.

Regretting getting up today at all to begin with.

Regretting agreeing to meet Oliver's mother, when I knew it was a bad idea.

Regretting the dress that she told me to wear, because it generally looked so bad on me, I wanted to physically cry.

It was bad... today was a bad day and all I wanted was comfort.

I tried calling Oliver, hoping that he could give me some sort of cheer up in this situation. Mostly I wanted to talk to him about today, my concerns about the dress and the fact his mother hates me. As well as the whole wedding as it was going to happen soon, but I still knew nothing.

Fuck...

Part of me even wanted to ask him to postpone it. It was all happening too fast, it was all so rushed that it feels wrong.

Fuck....

This wedding, him - it should be a dream come true. It was my dream for so many years, but why then did my gut feeling be telling me something was wrong? That something was off here?

But I pushed those thoughts away as I was sure this was just anxiety speaking.

I released a frustrated sight and sank deeper into the tub, going completely underwater. As I was hiding from the world and my emotions under water I heard my doorbell ring. This drew a sad sigh out of me.

Okay, I guess this means bathtime is over.

I got out of the tub, pulled on a robe and rushed to the door.

"I'm coming!"

I shouted as I ran to the door. When I opened the door, behind it stood my father.

"Daddy?"

"Hi, sweetcheeks."

He stepped inside and pulled me into a big bear hug. And I realized this is what I really needed today. There is nothing like being pulled into a big hug after a s**t-storm of a day.

"I thought I would visit today because Oliver is working, and we will have some time chat."

He released me and walked further into the apartment, straight to the kitchen. This was his typical behavior, he didn't linger, but went straight for what he wanted.

"So dad.... how was work?"

"Nothing special. Why don't you tell me about your day? I heard Oliver's mother took you to the dress shop?"

"It was..."

I wasn't sure what to tell him. We never really had any secrets because there was no reason for them, but seeing him so happy about the wedding, I couldn't take it away from him. I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth about my doubts. I'm sure that the stress could cause him serious damage.

"It was nice, I guess. The shop she took me to was very fancy, and the owner told me I could get the dress delivered home today. We were lucky as usually it takes months till you get one made. Oliver's mom organized it all. They said that it would be delivered today, it still isn't here, but it is all okay... I think they will deliver it tomorrow..."

"That's great honey. I'm so happy for you. You and Oliver will be a great couple. And I am sure his mother thinks the same... just as your mother..."

From the way his body stiffened, I could tell that he was thinking about my mother. He always blamed himself that I had to grow up without a mother, as if he was the one to blame for her leaving. Sure he struggled a lot at the beginning, but I know that my mother leaving broke something in him in more ways that I could understand, but he didn't give up on life and did his best.

I tried encouraging him to date a few times, but would always refuse to even talk about any of it.

Maybe seeing me happily married would inspire him to find love again?

I really hope so. I want him to be happy again.

"Don't worry daddy, Ms Carson is a great woman. We get on really well... I'm sure in time she will be like a mother to me."

His face had lightened again when I mentioned it.

God...

There is no going back now. I have to make this work for daddy's sake.

"So what are we making for dinner?"

"Mhm... well..."

He looked around in the fridge as he scratched his head.

"How about some spaghetti and meatballs?"

Well, that wasn't a surprise. My father was a great man, but cooking... and well, any other housework... wasn't his specialty.

He has a few recipes he perfected over the years: spaghetti and meatballs, cereal, eggs, mack and cheese and well take out.

When I was growing up, we rotated these dishes until I was old enough to take over, but nothing beats my father spaghetti and meatball.

"Great daddy. Do you want help?"

"No, why don't you rest for a bit and make yourself some tea and some coffee for me?"

"Good try big guy, no coffee for you at this time of the day. And I can bet that you already had more than the doctor allowed you to drink."

His cheeks went pink as he lowered his gaze.

"Well, you know your old man, baby girl..."

"Two cups of tea coming up."

We chatted while he made dinner just like old times when I lived with him. While we ate, it brought out a nostalgic feeling inside of me. This time together, reminded me of my childhood. How every Sunday evening daddy would spend time with me just like this. It was my favorite time of the week.

He usually worked every day from early morning to late nights, but he always made time every Sunday to spend time with me.

We would do anything I wanted.

I loved Sundays.

After dinner, he needed to go home, because tomorrow he had an early meeting.

"I'm so happy for you baby girl. Oliver is a good man, and I'm happy that he will take over in a few years."

Sadness again clenched my stomach.

There is no stopping this wedding anymore. This realization sank in with every passing moment.

"I'm also happy daddy. See you tomorrow."

I hugged him one last time and closed the door behind him. Once I closed it, I rested my forehead against the door trying to get control of myself and I returned to the kitchen.

While washing the dishes, I tried to sort my thoughts in order so that they would make sense, but it wasn't happening. My mind was buzzing from thoughts... ideas... insecurities...

Not bothering to braid my hair, I stumbled onto the bed and the emotional weight of the last few days washed over me as a deep dream-filled sleep took over me.

When I opened my eyes, I felt a few things at once:

First, I couldn't breathe through my nose.

Second, my throat felt so dry as if it was a desert.

And third, I had one of the worst headaches ever.

Great... just great...

Exactly what I need this week.

A freaking cold.

And I thought this week couldn't get worse.

I stumbled out of bed into the bathroom. As I walked I felt a bit woozy, but it was nothing a hot shower and some medicine couldn't fix. Or least I hoped it would fix it because I really wanted to talk to Oliver and work seemed the only place I could reach him.

As I hoped, the shower, hot tea and some medicine helped all the aches, leaving me with a runny nose and feeling as if I had been run over by a car, but it was still better than I felt in the morning.

I rushed, hoping to get to work on time. I hated to be late and, to my luck, I made it just in time. Okay, maybe today will be a better day?

As I was walking through the office I spotted that Oliver's secretary was here, so I hoped he would be here as well.