I thought about it. I remembered then the day leading up to the accident, how depressed I’d been and everything. Now I felt like I had the power to control my own pleasure, at least a lot more than before. I was pretty sure I could get Matt so hot he’d lose control completely. Then I’d have him at my mercy. The prospect excited me, even though my body was too sated to react in more than a most minimal way.
I drew in a slow breath and let it out, smelling the sulphurous, smoky scent in the air. I missed even the scent of exhaust and dust, to say nothing of the way the desert smelled when it rained, the roses in Mom’s garden, the sweet powder-and-soap smell of babies, even the odors of the children in University Hospital.
“I think I’d like to go back,” I said. “Up until now, I really haven
