It was close to 11 when I sent Blake on his way. I kept falling asleep and I knew if I let myself I would have him stay to hold me. I miss them all but I need to fix my heart and forgive them before they all hop back in bed with me. I keep telling myself to just forgive them and that what they did wasn’t that bad but it is hard. I fear people leaving me after losing my parents and learning that only a handful of people knew who I truly was. For the longest time that it installed this fear that no one will accept the real me. I need them to always want, need, accept, and claim the real me no matter what. I need to explain it all to them but it is hard.
I should of just had Blake stay because I can’t sleep to save my life. I just think of everything that I have been through and everything t
