Beauty from Ashes

CHAPTER 30

CHAPTER 30

I’m proud to say that I didn’t freak out immediately. Heaven knows I could have. I mean, what kind of man ditches you and your dying infant to spend four hours in the car next to the woman he cheated on you with?

Charlene? Seriously? Out of all the women Jake knows, she’s not even that high up there on the hot scale. I mean, she’s got the hourglass thing going on, but she’s at least twenty pounds overweight, and she’s got this sleazy aura about her. Like you could catch an STD or a canker sore by just looking at her.

I held my tongue at first. I mean, it wasn’t Jake’s fault he couldn’t afford anything more than a lemon and had to rely on other people to drive him to and from the city. But still, he’d done so much to convince me earlier that he and Charlene were done with. That he’d been so rude to her there was no way she’d have anything to do with him again. And now they were about to spend four hours together driving over the scenic North Cascades in the fall when everything’s gorgeous and vibrant?

Man, I hate that woman.

You can call me a hypocrite if you want. I probably wouldn’t argue with you. But seriously, how would you feel if it was your boyfriend who’d been with Charlene and now was planning to catch a ride with her, leaving you and your sick baby behind in Seattle with absolutely no one?

Well, we didn’t say much for the rest of the walk. It was a stupid idea anyway, trekking up and down that parking garage. If the point was to get fresh air, I should have picked a location that didn’t stink of car exhaust. I don’t know if you’ve ever paid much attention to hospital parking garages, but the cars get more and more flashy the closer you get to ground level, since that’s where all the doctors park. I remember looking at those red Porches and Audis and imagining what it would be like to have a buttload of money like that.

When Jake and I got back to the hospital, I told him I was going to see Natalie.

“I’ll come too,” he said, which was weird because he usually headed back to the Ronald McDonald house early to play his stupid candy game on his phone. I wasn’t going to argue, though. I didn’t want him to think I was mad at him for bailing out on us. I didn’t want him to think I was scared senseless to imagine being left in Seattle alone.

When did I grow to be such a big baby?

“You’re pretty quiet,” he said when we got into the elevator.

I shrugged. The more he talked, the madder I got.

“Are you upset about Charlene?” Man, how dense could he be?

“What do you think?” I snapped.

I don’t think he was prepared for me to jump on him like that. He got this look like Bambi’s mom before the hunter blows her brains out. He reached out and tried to grab my hand. Not the smartest move he’s ever made. “I already told you, there’s nothing between us.”

“Yeah, I got that part pretty clear by now. But thanks for the mental image.”

I didn’t want to look at him. Didn’t want to see his pathetic expression, his futile attempts to calm me down at a time like this.

“You know what I meant.”

I got out of the elevator and kept walking. I wasn’t about to listen to him whine.

“Come on.” He hurried to catch up. “I need that job to make rent this month.”

I laughed in his face. As if he didn’t know how much I hated that trailer park. I’d be happy if we got evicted. I’d be happy if the whole stinking lot burned to the ground.

“Please, it’s not like anything’s going to happen ...”

He still thought this whole thing was about Charlene. I didn’t want to hear his arguments. I needed to go see my daughter. I walked ahead, but he grabbed my hand.

Hard.

“Come here and talk to me.” He’d never spoken to me like that. Forceful. Almost threatening.

I snapped my head around to face him. At least he’d lost the doe-eyes. Now he looked mad. Now he looked ready for a fight. Too bad I wasn’t in the mood.

“I’m going to the NICU.” I tried to pull my hand loose, but he didn’t let go. It was getting late, and the hospital wasn’t very crowded or I’m sure he would have never dared.

“Let go of me.” I pried my hand free and walked away, but he yanked me by the back of my shirt. And that’s when I flung around and hit him. Not that hard. Not in the face or anything, just in the shoulder. Enough to stun him so he’d let me go.

He swore at me. I’d never heard those words come out of his mouth before, not before and not since. But at least I was free.

I stomped ahead confidently, certain he wouldn’t dare follow me. I kept my hands in fists in case he was watching me storm off, but I couldn’t keep this ridiculous smile off my face.

Who would have thought that Jake had a pair of balls after all?