Beauty from Ashes

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 20

Patricia comes out of her room with a cross sleepiness hanging on her face. I offer a smile. Every once in a while, I try to be friendly just to keep her on her toes or to prove to Jake that I’m not the witch she claims I am behind my back.

Patricia doesn’t return my smile. “I already fed her,” she says.

“I know.” I stare at the bottle in my hand. I turn it around and squint at the fine print on the label. “I was just checking the ingredients.”

Patricia comes over and picks Natalie out of the bouncy chair. “And how’s Grandma’s little precious?” she asks in that sing-songy voice people use when they want to make a fool out of themselves. The funny thing is Patricia’s not the adoring grandmother she tries to sound like. She only uses that tone of voice with Natalie when she’s upset with me and wants me to know that she’s grand enough to love my child even though she can’t stand the fact that her son chose me for his baby mommy.

“Did you have a nice nap?” I ask.

Patricia’s making cooing faces at the baby, which is pointless because Natalie’s eyes aren’t even all the way open. She’s tired. I wonder why Patricia won’t leave her alone.

“Oh, it was fine.” Patricia sits down with Natalie in a dining room chair with a dramatic sigh. I wonder if she ever took acting classes. Probably not. She doesn’t strike me as the type to put much stock in theater or the arts. “Did you have a nice afternoon?” she asks, staring down her nose at me and then glancing around the living room, probably to see what chores I could have been doing if I hadn’t been so lazy.

“Not bad,” I reply and wonder when Jake will wake up. It’s bad enough he leaves me alone with her for six hours a shift when he goes in to work. Thankfully, he’s been working nights lately, so most of the time he’s gone I can be in my room and at least pretend to be asleep. It’s harder during the day, when there’s nowhere for me to go, nowhere for Patricia to go, and an entire afternoon and evening stretched out before us until we can part company and shut ourselves up in our rooms. Maybe I should learn from her and go take a nap.

“Is Jake asleep?” she asks.

I nod, wondering what biting remark she’ll make next. She smiles a little. The expression looks so unpracticed on her wrinkle-free face. I know I’m not going to look that good when I’m her age. But hopefully I won’t be as mean-spirited either.

“That boy would never nap for me when he was little.” This is one of Patricia’s favorite subjects, how she raised the twins without any outside help. But she doesn’t go there. Not this time. “I remember putting him in his crib one day and letting him cry for half an hour. I just needed time to myself.”

We’re in new territory now, territory where Patricia’s not setting herself up as the monument of ideal motherhood. I’m nervous, like I felt the time that one foster dad came into my room except he wasn’t drunk.

“Yeah.” I try to offer a little chuckle. It’s as unpracticed on my vocal chords as that smile was on her face. “I bet that was hard.”

“You have no idea.” Her features are soft, but I’m still waiting for the claws to come out. The barbs to poke through that gentle exterior. “I begged Jake’s dad to spend more time at home, but even on his day off, he was behind that computer screen of his ten or twelve hours.”

“I would have gone batty.” I don’t know why I tell her this. Warning bells clank and clatter in the back of my brain. I’m not supposed to open up. Not supposed to let my guard down. Not with her.

“Yeah, well, I suppose that’s the upside of Jake’s not working more hours, isn’t it?” The haughty look is back in her eyes now. I think I imagine her straightening her spine. Throwing back her shoulders. This is the Patricia I know. This is the Patricia I’ve grown to despise.

“I guess not,” I say, hating myself for that thirty seconds of almost-closeness.

She’s got the point for this round, but I know it’s nothing but a single battle. A single battle in a war that will go on raging as long as the two of us have to coexist under the same roof.