The Ivory Throne

1. Loss

***Celina***

“Celina! Hurry up! We’re going to be late to the gala!” Javier shouts, knocking on the bathroom door.

I check my makeup one last time in the mirror, looking down at my small round belly tucked in a one shoulder evening gown. We’ll be attending a gala event raising funds to provide safe homes for human-trafficking survivors on Aurora and Oliver’s behalf. Artaud Inc. and the Ivory Phoenix Kingdom are both sponsors but the King and Queen are both on tour meeting new potential allies so Javier and I have been asked to represent our Kingdom this year.

“I’m coming!” I shout back as I open the door and nearly crash into my mate, Javier wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me.

There’s a boyish grin on his lips when he gives me a once over.

“Careful,” he murmurs, getting down on one knee to kiss my baby bump. “That’s my pup you got in there.”

I roll my eyes at him as he caresses my belly, his hands sliding down the side of my hips and along the length of my legs to my feet. My breath hitches in my throat as he lifts the skirt of my dress, his warm tongue peeking out to taste the bare flesh of my thigh.

“I thought you said we’re running late,” I tease, running my fingers through his hair and pulling his head back so he looks up at me.

He grins as he rises to his feet and kisses me gently on my lips.

“I was hoping we could perhaps practice making this pup a brother or sister,” he whispers.

My pregnancy has made my mate a horn dog, Javier wanting to ravish my body at all hours of the day. At this rate, I’ll be popping out pups every four or five months!

“Down boy,” I chuckle, draping my arms around his neck. “We have a gala to attend.”

“It’ll still be there when I’m finished,” he insists but I only shake my head, knowing we really are running late.

He smiles, taking my hand and looking down at the engagement ring on my finger. Butterflies dance in my belly when I see the excitement still lingering in his eyes because after two long years, I’ve finally agreed to marry him and be his official Luna. The idea still frightens me, but he is patient with me, allowing me to grow into the role at my own pace and respecting my needs. Javier is not perfect by any means, but he’s exactly what I need. I can only hope I am the same thing for him.

He leads me downstairs and out to the car, helping me climb into my seat and double checking the seatbelt to make sure our pup and I are safe and secure. The radio blasts corridos and banda to my amusement as we drive onto the freeway towards San Francisco, Javier caressing my leg and singing to his heart's content as he drives.

He dedicates a love song to me, smiling and winking at me as the song describes how empty his life was before meeting me. I can’t help the blush that reaches my cheeks every time he sings the words ‘I love you’ because I know he means it with all his soul.

“Stop messing around and keep your eyes on the road,” I scold him playfully, a tiny smirk lingering on his lips as he turns to look straight ahead.

“I am an excellent driver,” he says, placing both hands on the wheel and concentrating on the road.

“Sometimes,” I mumble, Javier rolling his eyes.

From the corner of my eyes, I notice a blur getting closer.

“Javi, look out!” I shriek, the car jerking to the right as two cars collide into ours.

One of the cars flips over on its back as it collides with the railing, Javier attempting to avoid it by veering to the left and into the next three lanes.

“Celi-”

All I see are the bright white headlights heading straight for us, the sounds of screeching brakes and blaring horns screaming in my ears before it all fades to black.

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My heart pounds in my chest as my eyes burst open, fear pumping through my veins as it did over a year ago. A ray of light peeks through the window to illuminate my office and after a few blinks, I realize I fell asleep at my desk, my arm numb from being used as a pillow. I take a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart and look down at my phone, my alarm clock going off.

I stare at the time on the screen and groan, a part of me wanting to return to my dreamland where nothing hurts while the other part fears closing my eyes. My body protests as I force myself out of my chair, my neck and back aching from sleeping hunched over on my computer. After taking a hot shower, I run downstairs to the kitchen, grabbing the picnic basket Maira has already prepared for me to share with Javier.

I walk past the training grounds, the soldiers acknowledging me with several bows and hellos. Diego, my brother, spots me from the sparring rings and waves to me, asking me to come join him for a match.

It’s been a long time since I’ve set foot in the training grounds so I shake my head, and I continue my walk down into the woods until I come across the Llivia Blanca cemetery. I say hello to my uncle, Emiliano, before making my way to the Alpha section. There, I settle down in front of a small headstone that has no name. The words “Guardian Angel” are inscribed in the stone along with last year's date. I clean it with a small rag and pick away at the dead leaves and flowers in the vase I left last week until it looks perfect.

“There, now you look as handsome as your dad,” I whisper to the small stone before turning to the much larger one sitting next to it. “They’ve got your eyes, Javi,” I chuckle, a sadness filling my heart at the silence coming from the stone. “Let’s see what Maira packed us for breakfast today,” I say to fill the void, rummaging through the basket. “Looks like we got a burrito with huevos con chorizo,” I smile to myself. “My favorite.”

I set up my little picnic area, chattering away with Javier and our pup about my week, but after a few bites, I lose my appetite and stuff the burrito back in my basket.

It’s been over a year since I woke up in a hospital bed and received the worst news of my life, and no matter how much time has passed, the pain hasn’t eased. Three people died in the car pile up that night, including Javier after a drunk driver tried to merge lanes. Our car was t-boned before crashing into the divider, Javier dying on impact. Our pup followed a few hours later, a part of my soul dying along with them.

Javier was given a Moon Warrior Ceremony to celebrate his life along with our pup, but with no living heir left, his Alpha duties were handed over to his beta, Pablo. After Javier’s death, I spent several months trying to figure out where I stood with Lluvia Blanca and luckily, Luna Ximena has been more than understanding. She gifted me several of Javier’s belongings to help with my mourning and made sure I was given a comfortable room in the pack house. Although I never took the Luna Oath, the pack still treats me as their Luna.

Aurora tries to ease my royal duties to let me mourn, but work is the only thing that numbs the pain. I never stop moving, never stop working, because every time I do, an agonizing pain returns, reminding me that I lost both my mate and my pup. All I do is work and wait for my own time to come.

Salvador has tried bringing me to the Keeper’s bridge a few times, but Javier has never made his presence known to us.

“I miss you, Javi. I’ll see you again next week, okay?” I murmur as I pat Javier’s headstone goodbye and begin cleaning up.

Lost in my own world, I almost don’t hear Aurora walk up to me.

“I thought I’d find you here,” she says, stopping just before Javier’s grave. “Hi, Javi,” she whispers, briefly looking at his headstone before turning to me.

“Oh yeah,” I smile, packing up the last of my things. “Did you need something?”

“Well,” she says with a sigh as she shifts her weight on her feet. She smiles nervously as she tries to find the right words and I groan, knowing exactly what she’s going to say.

“Look if you’re here to tell me I need to take it easy and slow down, save it,” I shake my head. “I’m fine.”

“But we’re all really worried about you. Valentina says you stay in your office all day working and most days you don’t even make it to your bedroom. You’ve lost weight. You’re not training anymore. You don’t come over to visit ever and you blow me off every time I come see you,” Aurora insists. “I’m worried and I’m scared.”

“I’m fine,” I retort, Aurora shaking her head.

“You’re not fine,” She mumbles.

“Look, I’m really busy right now,” I say , pushing past her. “We can talk later.”

“Celina!” she replies.

“What?” I snap, Aurora staring at me with a stunned expression. “Fine! You wanna talk? Let’s talk,” I shrug. “I lost my mate and my pup in a f*****g meaningless car accident because some selfish, inconsiderate asshole chose to get behind the wheel instead of calling a f*****g Uber like a decent human being! I lost everything in the blink of an eye and there is nothing no one can say or do to ever make that go away!” I shout, wiping the angry tears spilling onto my cheeks. “And you! You’ve had two miscarriages within a year and a failed IVF. Now, I’m not a licensed therapist, but it seems to me that you have enough on your plate to be worrying about what I’m feeling so why don’t you take your own advice and go! Go on vacation. Bring me back a seashell. Do whatever it is you need to do and leave me out of it!”

Aurora purses her lips in anger and storms over to me, wrapping her arms around me and forcing me to still in place.

“I can’t leave you alone because I already know what it’s like to live without you and I don’t ever want to live like that again,” she whimpers, her tears staining my shirt as she hugs me.

A lump forms in my throat before I finally choke out a sob and hug her back.

“You’re my sister,” she cries. “And no matter how angry and annoying you are, I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to watch you slowly kill yourself.”

For a long time neither of us says anything, my mind knowing she’s right, but my heart unwilling to feel the pain it's been hiding away.

“So you think I’m annoying?” I scoff, Aurora chuckling through her tears as she pulls away.

“Come with me to México,” she says, cupping my cheeks. “Please.”

I raise an eyebrow at her.

“You want to go to México?” I ask, my sister nodding.

I’ve been begging her to come with me for years to go with me but her schedule is so hectic, we’ve yet to visit our parents home.

“For a month,” she smiles, my eyes widening in shock.

“A WHOLE MONTH?!” I gasp, Aurora forcing a smile on her lips.

“One month,” she murmurs, kissing my cheeks. “We can go swimming in the river where our parents fell in love. Stay at their hotel. Find our dad’s cave on the beach,” she says, batting her eyelashes at me. “What do you say?”

I have always wanted to go visit the packs of our parents’ former kingdom, but I’m not too keen on going there for a month-long therapy session.

“If I say yes, will you be willing to help me find the rest of our relatives?” I answer, Aurora nodding before I can respond.

“Your mom is coming with us. I’ve already made the reservations and booked all of our flights,” she adds with a sheepish smile.

“Wait, you knew I would say yes?” I ask, Aurora grinning mischievously.

“Oh, I wasn’t taking no for an answer,” she shrugs. “We leave in two days after my meeting.”

I narrow my eyes to slits at her before giving in. One month’s not going to change things for me, but perhaps, I’ll finally get some answers about our family.

“Fine,” I mutter, Aurora forcing a smile on her lips. “So… who’s the meeting with?”

She rolls her eyes and sighs.

“Take a guess,” she groans.

“The French snobs again?” I ask.

About three years ago, Lune de Minuit returned to River Moon to negotiate the terms of their business deals with Artaud Inc. and things went horribly wrong when a certain Alpha peed on Adeline’s brother, Benoit, the future Alpha of the pack at the time. We’ve been in a cold war with Lune de Minuit now for three years with many packs in the region having to choose between a powerful and well established mini French pack empire, and a growing but relatively new kingdom led by women. Needless to say, most Alphas have not been too eager in establishing relations with Ivory Phoenix and while we are strong in our own rite, an actual war between the Kingdom and Lune de Minuit would be catastrophic.

“Yes, Alpha Benoit would like to discuss the matter of his sister again and talk about the possibilities of ending our feud,” Aurora sighs. “I doubt this meeting will resolve any of our issues, but we’ll have to wait and see.”

“That's very optimistic of you,” I chuckle, Aurora nodding in agreement.

She says nothing more and excuses herself to leave, but as she walks away, I notice shades of grays and pale yellow in her aura. There’s something bothering her and she’s afraid. Very afraid.

.

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***TRIGGER WARNING: MISCARRAGE***

***Aurora***

My mind is in shambles as I walk back to the training grounds where Evan is playing in his wolf form with a sea of young pups in training and annoying the trainer.

I’ve been shaking all morning since I peed on that stupid stick and saw the two little pink lines announcing my pregnancy, a feeling of dread and anxiety settling the pit of my belly where butterflies had once danced. Gone is the innocent excitement of a positive pregnancy test, along with all the dreams of me ever holding a pup in my arms.

Now all I feel is fear. Fear of the day I’ll wake up with the all too familiar pain in my belly and receive the news that I once again, will only be bringing home an empty box of hope. Fear that I’ll have to see the look of utter devastation in Oliver’s eyes again when the doctor tells him I lost our pup.

He has never once been angry or upset with me, never blamed me for failing, and never given up hope that we’ll one day be parents. He loves me so much, but it hurts every time I break his heart and crush his dreams of being a father.

Rather than hurt him again, I’ve decided to keep this pregnancy to myself for as long as possible so that if I lose it once more, no one but I will be heartbroken. No one but I will bear the loss. Perhaps it is cruel to not tell him the truth, but I can’t bring myself to say the words “I’m pregnant” to him knowing it could all end in “I lost it.”

I have yet to make it past the second month in my previous pregnancies, and if my calculations are correct, I’m currently a little over a month pregnant. I’ll either lose the pup within the next two weeks or my body will accept the pregnancy and I’ll lose my abilities to shift, use my powers, and change scents.

Two weeks. It’s just two long weeks of waiting, I tell myself.

“Queen Aurora is here!” The pups scream as I approach, the sounds of their voices pulling me out of my daze.

I force a smile for their benefit, Evan’s wolf rushing up to me to lick my face.

“Evan, your breath reeks!” I tease, the large wolf barking in protest as the kids laugh. “Come on, let’s go home.”

He stops for a moment, noticing my tight smile.

“You okay, kid?” He mindlinks.

I love Evan, but even he cannot know about the pregnancy. It would kill him to keep the secret from Oliver and he too would be devastated to see it all end in agony.

“Just worried for my sister, is all,” I say with a shrug.

He accepts the response for now, but he knows there’s something else on my mind.

Begrudgingly, he turns around and lowers himself for me to climb on, galloping away in the direction of the pack house.

“So, did you manage to convince the Demon?” Evan mindlinks when we arrive, quickly changing into his clothes behind a tree while I wait for him.

I burst out in laughter at the nickname.

“She agreed but only if I help her find out more about our family. We leave for México after the meeting with Benoit,” I say with a tired sigh.

“Good, we need a vacation!” He whoops.

“We?” I say with an amused smile.

“Oui, mon cheri,” he says, reappearing from behind the tree and walking me up the steps to the house. “You people stress me out. I need a margarita on the beach.”

We hear laughter coming from the game room as we step into the hall and I follow the sound, opening the door and smiling when I see Emile (Rosalie’s pup) pretending the floor is lava with Oliver, both of them climbing on the furniture to escape their deaths.

“Aunty Rory! Look out! That’s lava!” Emile cries, throwing a pillow at my feet. “Save yourself!”

I quickly climb on top of it while Evan pounces on the couch, pretending to almost slip and fall before sighing in relief when he’s safe from the lava.

“Alright kiddo, I gotta go to work,” Oliver says as he climbs off the pool table, Emile’s face lighting up when Evan offers to play with him instead.

“So how did it go?” Oliver asks when he walks me out into the hall.

I open a portal to his office in the city and force a smile. “We’re going to México.”