“So you’re having a picnic today?” Mom said on speakerphone as I got dressed in my bedroom. “Yeah. We talked a bit after you and Clyde left and came to an understanding. We’re taking it real slow.” “That will be a challenge for you, but I know you can do it, especially if you really want to make this work. Just take deep breaths, and when the urge to f**k overwhelms you, sublimate. Or if that doesn’t work, masturbate.” Geez. “Is that what you do with Clyde?” I decided to put the heat on her for a change. Maybe it was childish, but she started it. “What do you mean? I wouldn’t, well, how do you…?” I had flustered her. Good. “Right. You don’t think I see the way he looks at you? And the way you deliberately don’t look at him.” “Your father was my one and only love.” Her voice sounded