Love Me Not

Chapter 9

“Man can you get in here,” Nathan said his voice frighteningly low. The movie had been turned off and he had appeared out of nowhere in the doorway. 

Yas glanced to the side considering whether he should make an escape but he just felt tired and looking at the angry expression on Nathan’s face he just acquiesced to his demands. “What do you want?”

“What did you say to Eve?” he asked after a few moments. They both knew that Nathan had heard every single word that Yas had cast at Eve and Yas resented Nathan for making him repeat what he had said especially considering that as Yas thought back through what he had said.

Yas looked down unwilling to make eye contact with the American, “I was just telling her how I felt.” He was unwilling to get into the details of what he had said as he was already reliving the conversation enough in his mind. 

“So for you to tell her how you feel you must rip her apart. Those things don’t need to involve each other.” Nathan said not letting Yas get away with leaving the details out and oversimplifying everything. 

“Can you just stop okay—I did what I thought was right at that second.” Yas said retreating to the back foot away from Nathan. His head was aching and he could see Eve behind his eyes and her words ringing in his ears despite her absence.

“That’s bull okay—Eve does whatever is right even when it hurts her so much. She was the one who helped pick everyone up after the Olympics even when she was heartbroken. She didn’t need to do that but she did to help other people because that was what was right for her,” Nathan retorted. “Doing what’s right means that you can stand behind your actions even if in hindsight they are the wrong ones. Can you say that?”

Yas glanced up, at last, to meet Nathan’s eyes, “No I can’t.” He hadn’t been doing what was right as much as he might have wanted to tell himself that and instead had just been doing what was easiest for him.

“Well, you need to think about your actions cause Eve never seems to be as unhappy as when she has spent time with you. I don’t know what’s gotten into you recently but I don’t get how you are the same guy who Eve says is one of her best friends and her inspiration. “ Nathan said his eyes mad as he stared the older skater down. “Every time I’ve seen her in the last week she brings you up and has to ask me about what she should do next because she can’t understand your action. Hell, I’m a guy and I don’t get where you’re coming from.”

Nathan broke off unable to speak anymore and Yas was recoiling into himself trying to build up walls and let Nathan’s words fall on death ears but he couldn’t avoid his accusations. “Eve’s an amazing person with a massive heart and yet you keep on hurting her and you don’t even seem to realise the consequences of what you’re doing,” Nathan said finally and if Yas wasn’t mistaken the American was misty eyed.

Yas laughed bitterly, “Believe me I’ve damn well realised the consequences now.” He hadn’t realised everything that had gone wrong between him and Eve until he’d heard everything that Nathan was saying and it was all true.

“It’s not too late for you two to make up,” Nathan said seeming to pick up on Yas’s despondent attitude. “She cares about you more than you might think even if I think it is stupid of her. But you’ve got to be her friend and nothing more—she needs your support at the moment. There’s no point trying to make amends if you don’t do that. 

Yas looked Nathan in the eye and whilst he could still see the anger in them from earlier there was also compassion and caring and he found himself respecting the teenager more for the strength of his character than for his undeniable prowess on ice. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Nathan said dismissively. “You are going to need all that sucking up for Eve.”

…

It wasn’t until after the group rehearsal that Eve finally emerged from her shared room with Alina. She had managed to maintain her composure enough to tell the younger girl that she wasn’t going to be at the group session that afternoon because her foot was hurting. Ironically enough her foot was the only part of her that wasn’t aching with pain and that annoyed Eve in a way that she couldn’t put into words. 

Once she was in her room though she’d let all her tears fall until her pillow was damp and she could hear people banging on her door but she had bolted and one by one they left and the only noise she could hear was the sound of her breathing. That was why she had chosen to leave when she did. If she gave them time after the end of the rehearsal everyone would converge on her room but by pre-empting it she would be able to make a clean escape.

The corridors where empty as she’d expected and she could feel her phone in her pocket buzzing as messages where sent from the others having finished the session. There was only person she had no idea if he was sending messages and that was Yas she had blocked him as soon as she had made it into her room. Part of her the silly insecure girl she was wanted to know if he had reached out but her pride kept her from unblocking the number. 

She ducked behind a corner feeling her heartbeat race as she heard the group returning to the accommodation part of their hotel after their skate. They were talking loudly and Eve was able to catch her name in Nathan’s distinctive American accent before they were gone. She wanted to know what they were saying and what stories were going round but instead she kept on going to her goal—the ice rink with her phone like a block of lead in her pocket. 

Eve breathed out a heavy sigh of relief when she entered the ice rink and it was empty. She had expected it to be it had been booked for her and Yas’s duet together and that seemed to not be happening at this rate but part of her was terrified at the possibility of seeing him on the ice there. 

She removed her skates from her bag and slipped them on removing the guards and tying the laces carefully one after the other. They were biting tight into her ankles but Eve didn’t care and she stepped onto the ice quickly.

The first thing she noticed was the cold. The ice rink was several degrees colder than before and she felt it shake her out of her stupor. Skating over to the speakers she pressed the button to make it play music. She started upon recognising the tune that was coming in with the string. It was their duet music. In hindsight, this would probably have made sense, as they were the next to practice and it had been queued up before everything had gone down. She was going to change it but the song was beautiful and she found herself instead of changing the song skating into her starting positions from when she and Yas had started to choreograph the dance together. 

The dance had originally been choreographed as a duet but they hadn’t gotten around to adding the partner work into it so Eve was able to skate to it by herself. She could feel the tears falling down her cheeks as she followed through the movements that they had chosen together adding flourishes to the accents in the music. She danced through the 45-second mark, which was as far as they had gotten and made it up each movement sliding in effortlessly.

As the song continued her movements intensified to max the crescendo in the instruments and the soaring vocals from the soprano that the speaker was belting out. Skating from element to element she waited until she could hear the c****x coming and with one last transition, she threw herself into the air for triple loop. 

But she couldn’t land it and instead went flying across the rink until she lay in a heap sobbing on the ice and in the music she could hear Dido go silent as the Queen of Carthage died. She lay there in an insensible heap for longer than she could tell until her tears seemed to freeze on her cheeks and she could hear a dull clapping sound behind her.

She pushed herself upwards onto her feet to see Yas standing on dry land by the rink. “What do you want?” she asked imperiously skating over to where he stood.

“To talk to you,” Yas said. He appeared to be upset but Eve didn’t care.

“You’ve said all you need to say Hanyu,” she responded bitterly. “You made yourself perfectly clear.”

Something seemed to shatter within his eyes but a tear didn’t fall, “Eve please forgive me I’ll do anything.”

“Then you don’t need to worry,” Eve said her voice as cold as the frozen tears on her cheek and the ice beneath her. “I’ve already forgiven you if appeasing your conscience is what you care about but there’s no way in hell I’m going to trust you ever again.” She turned to skate away back onto the rink but had only taken two steps before turning back. 

His face lit up to see her seemingly turn around but all Eve did was ask him to leave.