MY SILLY PERSONAL ASSISTANT

“Papa, hurry up! It's already 4 am, the mushrooms are waking up.” A three-year-old kid is shouting by the door. “Papa Jules I'm sure is waiting for us too.” “Okay, I'm coming. You silly stop talking about mushrooms waking up. Because of that mushroom............aaahhh nevermind.” He came out from their kitchen with the basket full of foods he prepared. “Because of that mushroom is what Papa?” A curious kid asked. “Aiyah! Forget about it.” He then lifts the kid and tucks him into a bicycle seat after he put their stuff inside the bicycle basket in front. When he thought everything is settled, he rides on his bicycle and started pedalling. That's their morning routine, go to the farm on their bicycle and join with the workers. Only this morning is earlier because it is harvest time. “Papa, why mushrooms waking up at 4 am?” The kid asked while they're on their way to the farm. It's a cold morning, but they are used to the weather. They're living in the Province of Benguet and the weather is cold that is why it is one of the advantages for their farm. “It is because they're growing.” He smiles while he responds to the kid as he remembers how dumb he is before thinking about something and thought that “thing” is a mushroom. His smile turned to laughter as he thought about it. “Why are you laughing suddenly, Papa?” The kid behind asked wondering why he suddenly laughed. “I just remember something funny.” “Oh, the baby mushroom is here.” A man holding a notebook and a pen came to met them when they arrived at the farm receiving area. “Papa Jules ah, I'm a big mushroom and I'm waking up also at 4 am to be with Papa.” The man called Jules laughed. “Okay! Then how big is the mushroom?” “King Oyster mushroom! Papa Vince's favorite and it is fleshy and big.” The kid shouted with actions describing the mushroom. “That's right, James,” Jules told the kid laughing, averting his gaze to Vince who glared at him while parking his bicycle. “Vince, are you going to join to harvest the mushrooms?” “Yes, why?” “Just to remind you, hold it gently don't squeeze it like your extracting juice from it.” Jules laughed crazily winking at him. “Crazy! Don't remind me that again.” Jules is Vince's cousin who knows everything that happened four years ago. They are maternal cousins. Jule's mother is the older sister of Vince's mother. Since Jules became an orphan, Santos's family raised him, treating him like how they treated Vince. “Papa, look! I got the king-size mushroom. Papa Jules said you have eaten a big size mushroom before.” Jules continues laughing as soon as he heard what the kid said. “James put that mushroom and where did you get that?” He used his hand to motion the kid to come to him. “And you Jules, what are you teaching with this monster?” “I didn't do anything.” Jules shrugged his shoulder but suppressing himself to burst again into laughter. Vince and Jules agreed to have a joint business and it's a production of different types of mushrooms that's in demand in the market like enoki, shitake, king oyster mushrooms, and others, but oyster mushrooms are their main priority because of it's in demand to their clients. Vince's family-owned big farm and his parents agreed to his proposal and after a year their efforts paid off. It's been three years since they started the business. Not only they are one of the biggest suppliers of mushrooms in the country and even other Asian countries like Korea and Japan but other types of veggies too like eggplants, cabbage, carrots, and other Asian veggies even different types of lettuces and tomatoes. Their produce depends on the climate. Sometimes he thought of James as their lucky charm. Since the kid came into their lives everything and everyone is doing good. “Vince ah, what are you thinking?” The mushroom is already smashed in your hand for squeezing it too hard.” He didn't notice his Dad, Rolando came. He didn't even realize James passed the mushroom to him. “Oh good morning Papa!” Subconsciously, he dropped the poor mushroom. “James followed Jules to the greenhouse. What are you thinking about, why you didn't even notice them when they left.” “I am just thinking how fast time flies...it's like yesterday when we started this business and now, I can say that we are successful.” “That's because of your favorite mushroom.” Rolando, wriggling his brows teasing him. “Papaaaa ..” Vince stomped his feet. “Why? Is it true, right? You have this idea because of that MUSHROOM?” Rolando chuckled emphasizing the word mushroom. When Vince first told him about the idea of cultivating mushrooms and the reason why...he laughed out loud until he held his tummy as it is painful for so much laughing. Even Jules who planned it with him also laughed. “Because at that time I am so silly and innocent with so many things.” He pouted while they're heading to the building where mushrooms are cultivated on soil and straws. They have a supplier of soil and straws where they grow the mushrooms. “Okay, as you said. But aren't you going to the greenhouse?” “Later when the workers here finish with these mushrooms. It needs to be delivered right away.” It's almost six in the morning and the hue of sunrise slowly creeping to the sky. All the delivery vans that will deliver all the harvest are almost all gone to their destination. “Papa, I'm hungry,” James said while he held his tummy. “Okay go to Mama and tell her to prepare the food for you. I just wanted to finish this in a few minutes. Don't forget to wash your hands, okay?” Vince asked the kid to go to his mom. “Yes, Papa. You also must eat. You already work hard.” “Thank you, James. Okay, you go now.” He said ruffling the kid's hair. Vince is busy doing the tally of their delivery for the day. Jules is still busy at the greenhouse because they are propagating new seedlings. That's their job propagating new seedlings to avoid big gaps after harvest so there is no shortage of supplies from them to their customers. He realized how they love farming now just because of the idea of cultivating mushrooms. “Are you done, Vince?” Jules came for a break for breakfast. The workers have few batches to have their meals as they cannot leave all from their work so Vince gave them schedules. “I'm done!” Meanwhile in Manila at the production set of a new drama filming all the production staff are busy wrapping up where they are just finished filming the last part of the most anticipated drama lead by a popular actor named Jake Wilson. “Jake ah, tomorrow we will be traveling to Benguet for your variety show. This time we will be going to a farm.” His mom said while packing their stuff. She stands as his manager too. Nobody can tolerate his perfectionist and strict personality so even a personal assistant is difficult for them to find. Well actually, he is the one who decided not to hire a personal assistant since that last assistant he had almost four years ago. “Farm?!” He asked in surprise. “Yes, farm. Why? You are snoring during the meeting that's why you don't know the details of that meeting.” His mom said glaring at him. “Mom! I'm tired that time you know that.” “Haist! Whatever! Just be prepare as we are going to a mushrooms farm.” “Mushrooms!!” He got up from his seat raising his voice with eyes widened when he heard about mushrooms. Crystal jumped off from his spot in shock because of her son's shocking reaction. “Ooouucccchh!” Jake scratched his nape after his mom slapped him there. “Your perverted mind again.” Crystal Wilson hissed towards him because she knows the story behind that mushroom thingy. Because of that mushroom, they lost his last personal assistant. “You better behave or I am the one who will squeeze that mushroom of yours.” She said it firmly, motioning her hand like squeezing staring at the lower front part of Jake Wilson's pants. Jake who saw what his mom did suddenly covered the front part of his pants with his two hands where underneath is his mushroom.....or let's say it pet. His facial expression showing that he is in pain imagining it being squeeze. “Aiyah! It's his fault.” He mumbled. The next day, Jake and his co-hosts departed to Benguet on different flights to land in Baguio, then they will travel by private van to Benguet. They agreed to meet at their hotel accommodation. He traveled with his mom and two bodyguards. Almost five o'clock in the afternoon when they arrived at the accommodation, his three co-hosts are already there. “Jake ah, you can choose which room you like to stay in,” Jaime told him as soon as they arrived. “Yes, Uncle Jaime. Thank you!” He used to call his co-host an uncle because that's what they wanted him to call them. They treated him like a family. The farm they're going to, provided accommodation for them as it takes a few hours to the city if they stay in the hotel. It's a big house with eight rooms located inside the vicinity of the farm just close to the main road. “According to the staff, the owner of the farm build this house for travelers who wanted to visit the farm and to stay for a few days.” Alejandro one of the hosts said when they're gathered at the big living room. “Nice idea! And I think this is also the farm I saw in one of the TV show before. It's like a year ago. But the son of the farm owner didn't show up to the show.” Eugene remembering the show he watched. “Why?” Jake asked. “That's what they don't know.” “Maybe he just wants some privacy.” “By the way, who got the idea for this farm?” Jake again asked because he wanted to know why of all the farms, they chose this one. “Ah, we heard some of the staff talking about king oyster mushrooms and there's one talking about this farm so we came up into a discussion and decided to come and feature in one of our episodes,” Jaime respond. Dinner time came and everyone gathered at the dining table. He then gently picked up the king oyster mushroom that seems inviting for him to hold. Jake Wilson subconsciously contorted his mouth as he looked at the mushroom. “Is there any problem with the mushroom, Jake?” Alejandro who noticed his facial expression asked. He suddenly dropped the mushroom on his plate. “Ah eh, hehe!” He is out of words like caught in the act of doing silly things. “He thinks that that is his mushroom.” His mom responds that got everyone's attention with their eyes widened. “Ah, Mom is talking nonsense. Let's eat!” Jake then sits down and started taking food to his plate. “Tonight, we need to rest early as we need to wake up before 4 am,” Jaime said in the middle of their food. “Why too early?” Jake asked whining. He is the youngest among all of them and treated him like their younger brother. “We need to catch up on the mushrooms before they woke up at 4 am.” Jake Wilson dropped his fork when he heard what Jaime said. The eggplant still hanging in his mouth, Alejandro who sat next to him used his chopsticks to shove the eggplant into his mouth. “Jake, are you okay? Why you're acting so weird?” Eugene asked. Crystal just shakes her head as she knows what's running inside her son's mind. “Ah, ah I'm okay Eugene.” And he picked up his spoon and fork and started eating again. The rest just shakes their heads gently and continue eating. They know Jake is some kind of weird sometimes. The next day as agreed, they woke up around 3 am. Jake sluggishly get down from his bed and went to the bathroom planning to have a quick shower. When he thought he is ready he went down to the living room. The rest are already there waiting for him including their guide. When everyone is ready they hop onto the farm vehicle which will shuttle them to the farm which is about one kilometer from their accommodation. The cameramen started capturing their journey. They arrived at the assembly area of the workers half an hour before 4 a.m. They saw some workers already there gathering having their coffee before they will start working. “Oh hi, good morning! Are they from Food and Travel TV show?” A man in his sixties came and asked. “Hi good morning. Yes, we are from the show. Are you, Mr. Santos?” Jaime then met him, greeted and welcome each other. “I am. Welcome here on our farm.” “Thank you for giving me this opportunity to visit your farm. By the way, they are my co-hosts, Alejandro, Eugene, and Jake.” They all came and did a shakes hands but Jake was taken aback because Rolando looking at him intently. “So weird! Why is he looking at me like that? I don't know if he wanted to laugh or to cry.” Jake Wilson thought as he looked at him but his eyes widened when Rolando's stares go down to the lower part of his body preferably on the part where his King Oyster mushroom is hiding. He subconsciously closed both legs closer like wanted to hide it but his “thing” betrayed him. He felt it, it twitched. “f**k! He is waking up too.” He is worried that it might be obvious to everyone when it will start to grow as he is wearing boxers and loose sweat pants as outer clothing. His mind panic thinking of running to the toilet. “Ah! Can I use the toilet?” He asked Rolando who suppressing his smile. “Just follow that path and you will see the toilet at the end.” Rolando has given the direction. “Silly! His king oyster mushroom also growing.” He chuckled in his mind. “Jake ah, we have to go now. You follow us soon, okay?” Jaime said before Jake left for the toilet. “Yes, Uncle Jaime.” He then quickly walked and run towards the toilet. “You silly, why did you also wake up.” He talked to his mind referring to his length who is firmly standing awake. He slightly slapped it with his palm to sleep again but it grows more and standing proudly. He had no choice but to help it to sleep. “Aaaahhh...” he stretched his arms while walking to the direction where the mushrooms are grown according to the person he asked for a direction. Meanwhile, Vince just came out from where they are propagating and cultivating the mushrooms. He went there earlier when the worker informed him that some pests are infesting the king oyster mushrooms. After taking the samples that he is going to take to study how to stop the infestations, he went out from the other exit because he doesn't want to meet their guests. He is walking, whistling when he saw a man who is stretching his arms. He continues walking until almost a few meters closer to that man. It's 4 a.m. and still dark to see the man's face. On the other hand, Jake halted when he noticed the man standing a few meters away from him. “Ahm, excuse me. Have you seen my co-hosts if where they are now? I think I lost the way to follow them.” He asked. The man then came closer until they see each other. Jake saw the man holding a thing with a blunt cap and stout stem. He is holding it like choking the... “King Oyster Mushroom? Whoah!” He screamed in his mind. His eyes then slowly looked at the man's face and his eyes widened in surprise when he recognized him. But what made him taken aback is he can clearly see the man gritting his teeth, and his hand tightly choking or squeezing the poor mushroom while he is looking down towards his private part. “Oh my god. Have mercy on my mushroom.” He closed his legs again quickly and covered them with his palms. “Vince?!” At last, he remembers the name of the guy. “Jake Wilson!” Vince responds gritting his teeth and crashing the mushroom in his hand while fiercely looking at the thing where Jake is covered by his hands. Vince took a step forward closer to him. Jake Wilson without a doubt ran back as fast as he could while holding his crotch underneath his pants. Vince laughed so hard almost rolling on the ground after Jake skedaddled away from him.