Her Darkest Secrets

Chapter 1

Annie POV

Annie Seven Years Old

I stand next to my mom crying. I didn't understand at first, when she said that daddy wouldn't be coming back home. She didn't explain it to me, she just cried and said he was gone. But how could he just be gone? Where did he go? Grandma and grandpa were over a lot after she said he was gone, I thought they would try to bring him back. I was holding my little sister trying to get her a snack when I accidentally dropped her and mommy yelled at me. I yelled at her and told her to wait until daddy got back because he wouldn't yell at me. Then she started crying again, and so did grandma. That was when grandpa took my hand and walked me outside to the swing set. He put me on the swing and started pushing me.

"I think we need to talk AnnieBee."

"Why is everyone so sad, when will daddy be home? He can make mommy feel better I know it."

He stopped pushing me and came to stand in front of me, then he got down so he was looking right at me. "We haven't done a good job of explaining this to you. H.ell I don't think we've explained it at all."

"What?" he was confusing me.

"AnnieBee, your daddy isn't coming back."

"He left us?"

"No, he didn't leave you. What happened wasn't his choice, he would never have left you if he had a choice. Honey, your daddy was in a car accident. Another car on the road drove into his and," grandpa took a big breath and his eyes got tears in them. I never see grandpa cry. "And he didn't make it honey. He died. Do you understand what that means?"

"He died, like he passed away? Like Mavis' mom in Hotel Transylvania?"

"Yes AnnieBee, like that."

"So I'll never get to see daddy again?"

"No honey, none of us will ever get to see him again. But he'll see you, he's up in heaven watching you right now."

"Why can't we see him then? If he can see us."

"Heaven isn't a place we can go to. It's not time for you to go to heaven yet, it's a place only people who have died can go to."

"But that's not fair!" I yell, angry now, and sad. "I want my daddy, I didn't say bye to him, I want him to come back. Bring him back!" I jump off the swings and start hitting my grandpa, but he doesn't care. He falls back, sitting on his butt and pulls me into a big hug. He doesn't let me go, even when I try to push away from him, he just holds me tighter. I stop trying to hit him and just cry. I think he's crying with me. That was Monday, today is Thursday and now grandpa is crying again. But so am I, and so is mommy, and everyone else that's here.

My mommy told me it's a funeral, it's a day to celebrate the life daddy lived before he went to heaven. I don't know why though, why we should celebrate because he's gone. I want him to come back I could never be happy he's gone.

Annie Ten Years Old

Mom is going out with Andy again. I've met him a bunch of times, he's come over for dinner a lot, he even stays and has a sleepover sometimes. Mom started going out with Andy when I was eight, so now I've gotten used to him being around. He's nice to me and my sister Julie. He brings us presents, and sometimes when mommy says we can't have pizza he whispers in her ear, and she laughs, and then we get pizza.

Mom was really, really sad after daddy died. Some days she wouldn't get out of bed, one time she didn't come out of her room for a bunch of days. Whenever I went in to ask her for food or something she would sleep, and I couldn't wake her up. Grandpa stopped by one of those days and they got in a fight. Then he took me and Julie to stay with him for a little while. We didn't see mom for a long time after that. But then grandpa took us back home one day and she was making dinner. She ran over and hugged us, crying and saying sorry. We never had to leave her again after that. And then she met Andy, and she started to get really happy again. She would laugh and smile, and it was like when daddy was still alive. She still had some days where she was sad, but on those days Andy would take us out for ice cream and when we came home we would go to sleep and wake up and everything would be better.

"Hey Annie, Julie, can your mom and I talk to you for a few minutes?"

"Yeah," I tell Andy hopping up on the couch to sit next to mom. Julie climbs up and sits on her other side.

"Annie, Julie," my mom says squeezing us, "Andy and I wanted to tell you that we've been talking about something for awhile and we made a decision we want to share with you. Andy asked me to marry him, and I said yes. We wanted you girls to be the first to know."

"Marry, him, like he'll be our new dad?"

"I'll never replace your father Annie, but I love your mom and I want to be her husband."

"As long as you girls are okay with that," my mom adds.

"Yeah, I think that would be okay."

Annie Sixteen Years Old

They're fighting again. Mom and Andy have been fighting a lot lately. He lost his job last year and still hasn't found something new. When the factory closed down he thought for sure he would be able to find something quickly, turns out, when there are hundreds of other people looking for the same kind of job you are, in a depressed area, those jobs can be pretty hard to come by. Things were okay at first, but the unemployment isn't stretching as far now that their savings has all been spent. At least that's what he was yelling about this morning. I grab my bag and go to get Julie so we can get to school when I hear them yelling some more.

"God d.amn it Megan just get the money so we can keep our heads above water while I look for a new job."

"It's not my money to touch, I won't take it from her."

"She should contribute something to this household."

"That's not her responsibility, it's mine and yours. We are the adults, we are the parents. We take care of them, not the other way around."

"So you want us to end up on the street is that it?" He screams and I hear a sound that I'm pretty sure is a slap. I barge into their room not caring that I'm not supposed to intervene in their fights, like I got in trouble for last time. Andy is standing in front of my mom with his hand raised again, and her hand is cupping her face as she cries.

"Get away from her," I yell as I run between them and push him away from her. I'm pretty sure it's only sheer surprise that I'm there that has him taking a step back.

"Annie, it's okay, I'm okay," my mom tells me.

"You are not he hit you! How dare you put your hands on her," I yell turning back to him.

"Get out of here, this is none of your f.ucking business," he snarls at me and I can smell the alcohol on his breath. It's only eight in the morning and he's already drinking.

"Mom come on, bring Julie to school with me."

"Baby you go, we'll talk after school."

"Mom I'm not leaving you alon-"

"Go," she cuts me off, "I mean it, we will talk later."

Reluctantly I leave their room and get Julie, she doesn't need to be subjected to this either. I drop her off at her middle school and I'm about to go to the high school when I turn around and head towards grandma and grandpas instead. I pull in the driveway as he's walking outside with his lawn mower keys.

"AnnieBee what are you doing here honey? Shouldn't you be at school?"

"Probably, but I really need to talk with you."

"What is it?"

"Mom and Andy were fighting again today."

"Ah, yes well honey marriage is hard work. It's even harder when there are financial issues. We've offered to help cover them for awhile but your stepfather is a proud man," he says with a smile, like that's such a good thing, he has no idea what this man is doing to his daughter.

"Grandpa, it's not just that, he, he hit mom this morning."

"What?"

"I was walking past their room and they were fighting about money and then I heard it, it sounded like he slapped her so I walked in and his hand was raised and she was crying and holding her face. He would have hit her again. And she's there alone with him now, she made me leave, I didn't want to but she made me."

"Okay AnnieBee you are going to school, I'm going to go over there and see what's going on. I'll take care of this I promise."

"Okay, just be careful alright?"

"Just get to school honey." He runs back inside to grab his keys I'm sure, but I still wait to leave until I know he's on his way. My grandpa is a big guy, he was in the Marines for years, I'm not sure exactly how long, but it was a long time and he still works out like crazy. He's super fit for a sixty-one-year old, and when he comes back out with his keys and hops in his truck I say a prayer for him and my mom and head to school.