Her Darkest Secrets

Chapter 7

Annie POV

I startle awake so violently I almost throw myself off the bed. I've been staying at the women's shelter for the last week and a half now. The woman who runs this place offered rooms to everyone that was rescued from the prostitution ring we were a part of. Or I guess human trafficking ring is a more accurate term since I found out they were also selling and buying women. Melissa has called me a couple of times since that day in the hospital, but her husband hasn't let her out of bed since they discharged her. She doesn't seem very happy about her forced bed rest but I understand why he's making her do it. She has also been sending Brandon to check on me every day. I spend most of my day with him, escaping this place, but at night he's gone and there's nothing I can do to hide from my memories.

As grateful as I am for everything that these people have done for me, which has been a lot so far. I hate this place. It's really nice, especially for a shelter, but it's loud, it's loud all the time. People yelling, crying, screaming, doors slamming I can't escape the noises and it makes me feel like I'm back in that hellhole. There are different sections to this shelter, I'm on the side for single women and the section where my room is, is for women that are newly arrived. That means those of us that are at the height of our trauma, I'm woken up multiple times a night from the nightmares that the other women are having. I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep a night since I got here and I think it's slowly driving me crazy.

I curl up in a ball on my bed and turn on the k****e that Melissa had Brandon bring me. I start watching some random T.V. show and try to drown out the sounds that are coming from right outside my door while staving off the anxiety I'm having about my mental state. I watch four episodes of this weird new show before I hear a knock on my door. I'm surprised at first, but when I look at the clock I realize I stayed up all night again, it's seven in the morning. I take a deep breath as I get up off my bed and make my way to the door, throwing it open and greeting my guest on the other side.

"You really shouldn't open that without asking who it is," Brandon tells me.

"Maybe, maybe I should be more afraid but this place is safer than the Pentagon and you're the only person that ever comes to see me so," I shrug trailing off and looking at the floor. Brandon reaches out and moves my chin up so I'm looking at him.

"Still not sleeping?"

"Do I look that bad?" I try to joke, he doesn't say anything just keeps staring at me like he can see directly into my soul. "It's loud here," I mumble not wanting to sound ungrateful.

"I thought I'd see if you want to go to breakfast with me today before your therapy session."

"Oh, um, I'm not, I mean, that sounds, it's just a little," I stop speaking while I try to catch my breath. He's asked me out to breakfast every day, and every time he asks me I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I hate it here, but I'm not ready to go out in public right now. The thought of being surrounded by a bunch of strangers, a bunch of men, when anyone of them could have been one that hurt me is overwhelming.

"Hey, look at me, breathe, in through your nose, hold it, now breathe out through your mouth. Okay now do it again, good job, again." He coaches me through three more breaths before I feel my heart start to calm down.

"I'm sorry."

"No I am, I'm not trying to push you into going to get food with me. I just thought it might help you to get out of this place for a bit. You look like you haven't slept a wink since we brought you here. What's going on Annie? Talk to me, let me help you if I can."

"You've already done so much, and I don't want to sound rude or unappreciative of everything that everyone has done for me."

"I'm sure you won't sound that way at all."

"Honestly then, it reminds me of being back in that place."

"How's that?" He asks, giving me a sympathetic look while taking a seat on the chair in my room.

"All the people, it's loud at all hours of the night and day, mostly at night though, and," I can't stop the tears that start to fall. I wish I was stronger than this, I wish I was one of those people that could face their troubles head on, but that's apparently not who I am. "And that place was so loud," I'm full on sobbing now, surprised I'm even able to keep talking. "It was loud a-all the time the women screamed and tried to leave, the m-men liked to yell and hurt us. I don't hear male voices here, but everything else I c-can't get it out of my head. I c-can't make th-the noise stop." I crumble in a heap on the floor as I put my hands over my ears trying to drown out the sounds that feel ingrained in my brain to the point that they'll never leave.

"Hey, Annie, baby you're killing me, look at me." Brandon says as he moves to the floor to sit beside me. He's close enough that I can feel his body heat, but not so close he's touching me. He's always so careful about touching me. He rarely does unless it's to make me look at him. I can't explain it, because I know how I feel around other people, and I know how I should feel about him touching me or being anywhere near me, but I've never felt as safe as I did when he held me after carrying me out of my own personal hell.

"I'm sorry, you didn't come here for me to fall a part on you."

"I came here to support you in any way I can, if that means you needing to fall a part, then that's fine by me. Annie, I don't want you staying here if it's going to cause you to feel like this. I think I have an idea, can you give me a day or two to see if it will work?"

"You don't have to do anything, I'll be okay."

"I know I don't have to, I want to. And you clearly aren't okay. Let me help you. Please."

"Okay," I say softly, "I would actually really like that."

"Great, let me talk to a couple people and I'll have a solution for you tomorrow."

"That sounds good thank you."

"Of course, now I'm going to go pick us up some breakfast and bring it back so you eat something. After that we'll pack your room up."

"But I don't have anywhere to stay yet."

"Annie I'm not leaving you here one more night. If my idea doesn't work out I'll rent you your own place," he practically growls.

"No," I yell at his startled face as my tears sneak up on me again. As safe as I feel around him, I'll never let another man do something that could make me so indebted to him again.